


Mischief (almost) Managed

by cuddlydreamsonrainydays



Series: I solemnly swear... [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders' Era, but wizard version, this is like a Yearbook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 21:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 46,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5601274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlydreamsonrainydays/pseuds/cuddlydreamsonrainydays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Marauder's final months at Hogwarts, documented by themselves with a bit of everything and everyone in it.<br/>So the stage is set for drama and fluff and (maybe) the survival of those that we want to survive and a bit of justice for those that are always up to no good.</p>
<p>This is a sequel to Up To S(no)w Good, so if you'd like to understand all of this I suggest you read the first part first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1st of January

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Januaryskies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januaryskies/gifts).



Sunday, 1st of January 1978

Hello future!

These are our last few months at Hogwarts, and I will be documenting them. Well, actually we’ll all document them, this album is meant to be for all of us, but as I’m undoubtedly the best for the job I’m going to monitor what everyone puts in here. And my handwriting is the only one that’s readable anyways. Yes, even Remus, his writing gets incredibly messy when he’s tired, and he’s tired most of the time. This is actually like a Muggle yearbook – I read Petunia’s when I was home, but I’m determined to make this one a lot more magic.

So this half a year, our last one, will start today, Sunday, January 1. It kind of started last night already, though, so at the end of this entry I’ll be adding some of the pictures that were taken last night. They’re not all pretty. That party is also the reason for that there’s quite a bit of glitter on this page, but more about that later.

At first, we’re starting the year the classical way: With our New Year’s resolutions. We’ve all written them down and I’m going to glue them into this album with a charm so that we can laugh about them when we’re fifty years old. First go mine, because this album was offered to me after all.

**In 1978, I want to get at least five O’s and pass my seven NEWTs. (They tell me I’m mad because I took seven, but I tell them that I’m simply ambitious. And I know very well that I only need three.) I want to decide on a career and apply for the formation. I want to find a flat somewhere I’d like to live. I want to travel somewhere that’s not England. I want to forget about my sister. I want to take better care of my hair (it’s getting all frizzy). I want to learn how to bake the house elves’ pumpkin pie (because I will miss it!). I want to no longer fall asleep in the common room on a regular basis.**

Then go James’, because they made me laugh. And because I kind of love the idiot.

**This year, I want to win the Quidditch house cup with my team. I want to make Lily share a flat with me, whether she wants to or not. Think of the economy! I want to get at least four O’s in my NEWTs. (Just because Lily teases me already that she’s taken one NEWT more than me. She won’t laugh anymore when exams are due.) I want to be admitted to the Auror academy. I want to pull the prank of the century that will make everyone remember the Marauder’s forever. I want to no longer annoy Lily (though it will be hard).**

Then I’ll put Marlene’s, who has sent them to me in a letter, being the only one that has actually gone home, because she’s my best friend and I love her, too.

**In 1978, I wish to pass as many NEWTs as possible. I wish to become a professional Quidditch player, because I don’t want to continue with education at school and that’s the only way I can imagine. I wish to finally get a boyfriend. I wish to get rid of those stupid spots on my face. I wish to visit my brother in Tasmania. I wish to magically get motivation to study.**

Then Remus’, because I’ll forever like him better than annoying Sirius Black.

**In 1978, I’d like to pass my NEWTs with the best grades possible. I’d like to find a place that will continue my education to be a teacher. I’d like to find somewhere to live with Sirius. I’d like to survive the exams.**

And then Sirius’, because he’s the only one left and it’s not bad if everyone has fallen asleep during Remus’ – this is really barely readable.

**This year, I want to win the Quidditch house cup. I want to move in with Remus. I want to buy a motorbike and a leather jacket because Remus says that it’d be hot. I want to get dear Minnie drunk. I want to go on a real date with Remus.**

Amazing how none of us want to improve our personalities or get rid of nasty habits, isn't it? Apparently we’re just too perfect or, in some cases, to full of ourselves, it seems. And you know who I’m talking about. So, this will hopefully be our year – but then again, we’re at Hogwarts, and I’m a hundred percent sure that by far not all of this will actually happen.

_There’s a black and white photo of Lily and James glued in with a permanent sticking charm (Sirius did it, and Lily still hasn’t stopped wondering why he masters that charm so perfectly). They are sitting in the corner, Lily on James’ lap and it looks like they’re laughing loudly with a bottle of firewhiskey being the only thing that separates their lips. Lily smirks at the person that’s holding the camera, but James waves them away – they change roles when they’re drunk, apparently._

So, this photo shows me and James. I remember how this happened, I just can’t figure out how I got drunk enough to allow it. I knew before that I’m a lightweight, why have I drunk so much? Why, Lily Evans?

_There’s another typical wizarding picture, but this one showing Sirius dancing on top of a table, holding a half-full pint of butterbeer in each hand and apparently singing. His legs wobble dangerously. Next to the table is Remus, not as drunk, trying to get him to come down. The people around them are cheering, barely visible in the dim light._

Oh yes, I remember this one. Sirius won’t live this down easily – we’ve now officially made that one sure.

_The third picture is of James and Sirius dancing. They’re laughing their asses of. Remus and Lily are indistinctly visible, shaking their heads and exchanging glances. James’ shirt is by then already completely undone, and somebody has put glittery pink hairbands in Sirius’ hair, which he doesn’t really seem to care about._

I can’t even comment this one. Just, boys.

_On the fourth picture that Lily has chosen to glue in (there’s quite a lot of pictures that she’s chosen not to glue in, too, partly because there’s just nothing on there but a blurry mass of people, partly because people’s bodies are way more exposed than they should be), everything is covered in glitter, and literally everything. There are some people on it, but they’re not as important as the fact that they’re so covered in glitter that you don’t recognize them anymore. The floor looks as if it were made of diamonds, and the ceiling as if it were covered in a million stars. The people are now slow dancing._

This one looks different than in reality, but just about as amazing in fact! The glitter should be in every imaginable colour – it’s the one that James and I got offered, of course. And it really sticks. You can see it sticking to this page. I still haven’t got all the glitter out of my hair, and I have showered this morning. Twice. The common room is still covered in the stuff, too. The house elves have tidied up after us (we still need to thank them, really) but they haven’t managed to get rid of the glitter. Sirius is reading over my shoulder and claims that it gives the common room a really wonderful(ly gay) touch. It does look nice, although some of the colours don’t go well with the deep red. It doesn’t look fancy like on the picture, but it gives at least a really happy touch.

_The fifth and last picture on the page shows all of them; Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, from left to right, with their arms around each other and beaming at the camera. They’re covered in glitter, James’ shirt is still undone and Lily’s cheeks are bright red. Remus looks the most sober of them all, but even he’s got a little more colour in his cheeks from the consumption of alcohol. Sirius still has some of his hair tied up, and now even added his tie as a headscarf. Lily laughs out loud in the shot at something that James said._

That picture is my favourite of all, even though we look awful. I love how we’re all together. The black and white makes it look really classy, and we look so happy! We were happy, I kind of remember. It’s all blurry in my head and if it weren’t for Remus’ amazing anti-headache charm (he’s had enough experience with James and Sirius, he says) I think I wouldn’t be writing right now.

So, now, we’re off to eat some food. I hope there’s chips. I feel like chips.

Sirius says that’s because they’re fried and greasy and I have a hangover. I know that, I’m not stupid! I still want them. Let me have my hangover and leave me alone, I need to sulk in peace, Black.


	2. 9th of January

Monday, 9th of January, 1978

School has started again, and let’s start with the positive aspects of that. Marlene is back! All those that have gone home for the holidays were back yesterday for lunch. She claims that the house elves’ cooking is still better than her Mum’s, and I could finally talk to someone who isn’t controlled by testosterone. Although Sirius has been quite a good substitute, I missed my best friend.

_There’s a picture attached of Sirius in his dorm, wearing pink lipstick (it’s really a different shade of grey) and waving his hands around frantically. There’s nail polish in the same shade of grey (it’s still a vivid pink) drying on his finger nails. His eyebrows are perfectly done and his hair reaches down to his shoulders, falling with that silky grace that so many girls envy. He doesn’t even seem to notice Remus staring, but oh, he so is. Lily, sitting on the floor with a bottle of nail polish in her hand, is laughing._

But having Transfiguration this afternoon has definitely not cheered us up, not at all. It is time to think about our future – but now, for real. Not as in the resolutions we did a week ago. As in “you are going to work very hard and your studies for your NEWTs are going to take up all of your free time.” As in “you are going to apply for further formation and you are going to need excellent results in your exams.” As in “the future is going to be harder than Hogwarts.”

Naturally I expected this, and I think all of us did, but it’s still really cruel. Seven NEWTs are going to be hell; but afterwards, everything will be possible for me. I’ll be able to make this world a better place for people like me.

What Professor McGonagall doesn’t notice, though, is when the Marauders are passing notes. So I’ll leave those to talk.

First: _Sirius_ to **James** and vice versa.

_Prongs, this shit is crazy. I wanna have a life that’s not books!_

**I know what I wanna do. I wanna be an Auror, and I’ll be an Auror. And if I have to study like mad… I don’t do things halfway.**

_I know, Prongs, but still!_

**You don’t want justice, Padfoot? For Moony, Lily and the others, against your family?**

_You’ll ace those exams. Studying is not for me._

**You’re bloody intelligent, you can do anything you want.**

_I don’t wanna learn, I wanna fight._

**I wanna learn to fight; not much difference.**

_I’ll try?_

There was a smile after that. Those two are really cheesy, if Sirius’ wasn’t madly in love with Remus and James hadn’t stalked me for six years, I’d believe that they were a couple, honestly. You should’ve seen all the silent conversation that was going on between them; I was third-wheeling my boyfriend in class! By the way, I might’ve added some punctuation on the documents. Imagine children reading this later – what are they going to learn about grammar? And I don’t know, either; I want to learn to fight as well. But am I really ready to be an Auror? Still, how much of a life do I have left that I can risk, in case we lose this battle? Anyways. The next piece of parchment risks to soak this entire album with its cheesiness. Lovesick couple.

Second: _Sirius_ to **Remus** and vice versa.

_What do you wanna do after school?_

**Whatever is possible.**

_You’ll manage. I love you and I’ll always support you. And if it doesn’t work out – what is mine is yours. This world is going to hell anyways._

**I love you, but Padfoot, I’m scared.**

_Dumbledore would employ you, definitely. You’d be an amazing teacher._

**You think so?**

_Absolutely! Don’t let Minnie intimidate you!_

He didn’t really stick to his own advice, though. Professor McGonagall almost took that note – they’re even sitting next to each other, mind. I’ve never seen Sirius moving as fast before, not even on the Quidditch pitch, hiding the note in his bag.

So now we have a new prospect for the coming semester, and it’s rather frightening. Nevertheless, I’m sure that somehow we’ll manage. We knew that it’d be hard, now the only choice that we have is to make the best of it.

Monday, 9th of January 1978

It’s James here. Lily will hate me for this when she discovers that I’m writing in here, but, Lils, I tried really hard to make my writing readable! Who are we even addressing this to? Ourselves or just random future people? Doesn’t matter, I guess. I just absolutely have to add this. The only reason that I could get hold of this album is that she’s fallen asleep, properly in the common room with her head on her potions book. I was right, wasn’t I? Haven’t expected it to happen so soon already, though. So, future people, enjoy!

_There’s a photograph showing a bunch of red hair (one assumes there must be Lily’s head somewhere underneath) on a text book in the common room, on that table right next to the fireplace. The flames are in the background, as well as a grinning Sirius and a very tired-looking Remus. The camera is shaking slightly, blurring out the edges of the photo where it wasn’t able to focus properly, so James has probably been laughing while he took the photo. Lily doesn’t seem to be bothered by this._

Obviously I’m not only a jerk. After the picture, but before writing this, I’ve carried her up to her dorm so that she can rest well. I’m a good boyfriend after all! (Which won’t keep me from laughing at her when she complains about stress. It’s been her own choice!)


	3. 18th of January

**The Daily Prophet, Monday, 16 th of January**

The Aurors have been trying to find a dozen of persons that have mysteriously vanished already for seven months now – and now, there finally seems to be a trace. Sources tell me that Bellatrix Black, last seen in July in London, has been sighted a few weeks ago, and, of all places, at Hogwarts. Oldest of her three sisters, Bellatrix Black has always especially found her passion in the Dark Arts and was immediately attracted by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, formerly known as Tom Riddle. The boy was years above her at the same school, but they’ve hit it off immediately. Sources claim that Riddle has often been seen sneaking out of the girl’s dormitory in Slytherin.

Andromeda Black, who disagrees wholeheartedly with her sister and is currently in a relationship with a muggle (there are rumours that her name has been burnt off the Black family tree, but one name more or less on that tree that covers the entire British pureblood population won’t make much of a difference, I dare say) refused to give an interview for the Daily Prophet, but told a close friend that Riddle and her sister have always had a close, one can also say intimate, relationship, starting during their years at Hogwarts. “She’s got a heart too black for love, though, and he’s got too much power in his head for a marriage out of reason.” Oh, Andromeda – are you sure that you aren’t jealous?

Now, Bellatrix was accused of the use of Dark Magic and causing severe injuries. Who has accused her is meant to be a secret to the public, but a little bird whispered to me that it was nobody else than Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, himself – speaking for Sirius Black, that other black sheep in the Black family. That essentially makes him white, but his colours rather tend to be red and golden, as he is currently in his seventh year in Gryffindor. He’s also James Potter’s best friend, whose parents have recently died. Their group of friends seems to live a period of bad luck. Severus Snape, seventh year Slytherin, provided me with some exclusive information.

“Potter’s cried for days after his parents’ death. In contrary to his image of the impeccable Gryffindor Quidditch captain, he’s only a pathetic little mother’s boy. His friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, who’s already the poorest of the poor and can’t even buy himself proper clothes, are, to top it all off, faggots in a relationship with each other. Potter relies on mudbloods to comfort him, as the fourth member of the infamous childish group – they call themselves the Marauders and assume that it makes them special – has already run away from the pathetic mess that they are.”

What is really going on at Hogwarts? How sane are staff and students still? And how reliable are the Aurors that don’t manage to find a dozen of specific person, well known to the magic world? I’ll find it out for you, dear readers! So far keep watching out for Bellatrix Black and the others that are missing, but don’t get too near to them because they might curse you. A list alongside with pictures can be found on page fourteen.

_-Rita Kimmkorn_

 

**The Daily Prophet, Wednesday, 18 th of January**

I told you about wizards that might’ve turned dark with our dark times two days ago, but today’s story is an entirely different one. Neither has Bellatrix Black been sighted, nor have any of the other persons on Monday’s list. While the Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum, has admitted that the Aurors aren’t necessarily equipped for the war that is going on, and that there might be a much larger hidden number of people that have left our side and chosen to follow He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, another wave of news has made the entire nation hold their breath. He’s upped the Dementor count in Azkaban, but that is good for nothing as most of the nowadays dangerous people are not even in Azkaban. So while our Aurors complain about a coffee machine that is not working (my source doesn’t want to be named), having lost two members of their team in Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, Muggles are vanishing in the mountains and wizards claim to have seen giants out of their usual area.

“I was in my kitchen, just cooking for my husband when he’d come home from his workplace, when I heard a noise loud as thunder coming from outside,” Charlotte Barney, living in Northern England, tells me. Her voice is shaking and she sobs. “But the sky was blue! I looked through the window to see what caused the noise. It was annoying, I was listening to my favourite programme on the radio. And suddenly I saw those enormous feet. I thought someone had hexed a mountain in my garden as a joke until I saw them moving all on their own. I disapparated then and when I came back, there was nothing left of our beautiful little house or my meal. I had cooked my husband’s favourite food, pork steaks with bacon and roasted potatoes on the side, and none of it was left!”

Is the Ministry missing out on something? Are the giants leaving the mountains? Charlotte Barney and many others of my readers have seen them everywhere in England. I haven’t gotten as many owls since the time I shared a picture of my amazing pumpkin pie in this newspaper and everyone wanted the recipe! So, dear Minister, what is going on in the mountains that are supposed to be under the Aurors’ protection? I was denied an official statement until now, but I have my sources everywhere. And these sources tell me that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has convinced the giants to support him. A note on the side: The Ministry hasn’t managed to even build as much as a friendly relationship with the giants since 1323, despite the effort that they claim to have made. What techniques does the Dark Lord, as his supporters call him, use? Or is he simply the only one who really has made an effort?

Until farther information has reached me to report to you, stay careful my dear readers! There might be some mountains running around that don’t hesitate to crush innocent people’s houses and the people inside.

_-Rita Kimmkorn_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I get comments for my birthday?;)


	4. 21st of January

Saturday, 21st of January 1978

After the newspaper articles that spoke for themselves today’s entry will be on a far happier note. The sightings of giants have again multiplied, confirming Rita Kimmkorn’s article, and even Dumbledore seemed distressed. We were told that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named recruits not only wizards and now obviously giants, but quite probably also inferi and werewolfes. Everyone here is starting to get scared. The first article meanwhile was obviously a lot of lies and twisted truths about us, but it also did what a lot of evidence before hasn’t been able to – it cut the final thin bond between Severus Snape and me. (It didn’t hurt anymore, I’ve got other friends. Better friends. Friends that don’t call anyone a mudblood who has muggles as parents, friends that don’t only make an exception for me and fail to do even that. Friends that don’t support He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named, but despise him.)

Now let’s get to the happy part that I’ve promised. Sirius and I have finally held that beauty day! It took us like four weeks to get to it, but oh well. Meanwhile Marlene has finally found a date that’s not Sirius (some quite good-looking Hufflepuff that brought her flowers right on the first date, I approve for my best friend), and Remus and James had to flee from their dormitory when we told them what we were about to do. Not in that way, you dirty future people! It’s definitely funnier with pictures.

_The first picture is of Sirius only. He is standing in the middle of the dormitory with his left hand on his hip, sticking out his ass cockily and winking at the camera. His face is entirely covered by a white facemask that’s so shiny that it must be still wet (that he’s still able to wink is also an indication) and he’s got a flowery shower cap on to protect his holy hair. He looks ridiculous, but Sirius Black can even pull the ridiculous look off._

We did facemasks! Sirius had one with curd, honey and a bit of lemon in it and he claims that his skin is extremely hydrated now. I had one with salt-stuff that’s apparently from the Dead Sea. My skin does feel good after it, I have to admit it.

_The second pictures is taken by Sirius. It shows his leg and Lily who’s shaking with laughter. Sirius’ leg is half hairy – and the other half has already been waxed by Lily. She’s pulling of another strap of wax in one jerky movement. The camera shakes as Sirius trembles._

Oh, yes. Memories… I’ll never forget Sirius’ screams, that was hilarious.

_The third picture is both of their feet dangling from a bed (the floor is an absolute mess, covered in all sorts of beauty utensils). Sirius’ right hand is in the picture, too, holding a bottle of red nail polish. Half of their toe nails are already painted in a glittering colour. (It’s gold. Because they’re proud Gryffindors and they are going to paint their nails red and golden.)_

Sirius has also finally earned being a Gryffindor for real. Leg waxing is the ultimate proof of bravery (and we got both legs done. In the end, he’d even stopped screaming.

_Sirius is doing Lily’s eyeliner on the next picture. The angle is not perfect because Lily has her eyes closed and is holding the camera, but nevertheless Sirius’ concentrated frown is perfectly captured. He’s biting his lip and has one of his eyes squeezed shut to focus better on the thin black line that he’s drawing._

He actually has a talent for doing eyeliner. When I do it myself the two sides are always different. But then again, he allowed me to do his and it looked just as good. There’s still hope.

_Sirius is now holding the camera while Lily is busy braiding his hair. She’s doing some sort of complicated French braid and Sirius is already beaming, although he can’t even see it yet. Her own hair is already braided; it’s a bit messier and less complicated than what she’s doing with Sirius’ hair (he’s done it), but that looks kind of good and as if he’d done it on purpose. It gives her a venturous look._

My braids are still better. Thanks, Merlin. Although I really quite like what Sirius did, he was almost ecstatic about his own hair. He’s got really nice hair, everyone’s got to admit that.

_The following picture doesn’t show any of them, just the boys’ dormitory, especially the floor of it. On the red carpet there’s packaging of stuff literally everywhere, so that one can only recognize the colour as a deep grey (this is to say, Gryffindor red)  on the very borders of the carpet. There are three bottles of nail polish, but one of them has fallen over (open, what else?) and created a shiny puddle on the floor. There’s some curd smeared on it as well. At least there aren’t any wax strips covered in leg hair._

_Directly after that, there’s a picture of James. He’s standing in the doorway to the dormitory with both of his hands on his forehead, fingers splayed. His mouth has gone slack while he’s gaping at something below the camera – so, quite probably the mess shown in the picture above. He moves then, turning right around on his heel and leaving the dormitory abruptly as if he needed to flee from it._

His face was epic. I’m so glad that I caught this on camera! Of course we cleaned up the mess afterward, and the boys could get back into their dormitory. Marlene has still not come back from her date.

Sunday, 22nd of January 1978

I’ve got a little note to add this grey morning. Firstly, Marlene has come back from her date yesterday smiling dreamily, and I don’t really feel like jotting down all of the cheesy details that she shared with me, but at least I can say that her date was great. Andrew Turner, that Hufflepuff, is very nice and enjoys Quidditch at least about half as much as she does and by now, she calls him Andy. Love is in the air. (He’s also got long hair. Seems to be Marlene’s type. His long hair is not like Sirius’, though, I wouldn’t have liked to braid it.)

Afterwards, James has approached me with a deadly glare this morning. I’ll cite our conversation.

_Me: Good morning. Does your dormitory still smell of nail polish?_

**James: No.**

_Me: Why do you look like you want to murder me then? I’m innocent._

**James: (laughs out loudly, but hasn’t stopped murdering me with his eyes)**

_Me: James Potter!_

**James: Whatever you have done to Sirius prevented me from sleeping.**

_Me: (stunned silence)_

**James: Remus liked it. A bit much.**

Sirius: (screaming) We have not had sex!

 

Good thing the common room is mostly empty on Sunday mornings, isn’t it?


	5. 30st of January

Monday, 30th of January 1978

Hello future, this is Remus. Today is a very special day. It is Lily’s birthday! Her eighteenth, even, and contrary to James and Sirius, the eighteenth is a special birthday for her and for me – finally adult in every world we belong to! So naturally we are having a party. On Monday. That was not my idea, but Sirius is looking over my shoulder right now (he wasn’t allowed to write because when I concentrate, and I’ve promised to, my writing is very easy to read and his never is) and telling me that I should get to the point and that nobody cares. So, party.

Of course we’ve had class today, but luckily our last one was finished already at three pm and that was when Lily was banned from the common room. She’s only rolled her eyes at James who very gently forced her out of her armchair and carried her through the portrait hole. Now we are organizing. And, oh, by the way, she’s already got her presents this morning. I offered her a nice novel and some chocolate, and Sirius offered her some beauty stuff that I didn’t bother to take a closer look at (face masks, make up and a shower gel that smells like strawberries, he says). Anyways, she was very happy about both of the presents. The two of them are already planning to make their beauty day a tradition, and frankly I can’t complain. Sirius looks very good when he’s put some make up on… which absolutely is not the topic.

Her reaction to James’ present was neither a smirk nor a laugh or a smile – it was rather that she squealed and jumped into his lap. The kiss that followed was not exactly PG-rated and one of the rare occasions on that I’ve seen James speechless. He offered her a vacation, and we all know how much she’s been dreaming about going somewhere else than England. After our NEWTs, they’re flying to the US. Prongs can do anything he wants to with the sheer amount of money that he has, he wouldn’t have to work his entire life. He will anyway, because he can’t stand to sit around. I kind of understand her extreme reaction, and James’ face was epic.

Lily passed me a piece of parchment to put in here with a sticking charm before she had to leave, so that is what I’m going to do. Here you go.

**Sirius: You absolutely have to go see an American Quidditch team!**

James: Definitely.

_Lily: Quidditch?_

James: Hey, you secretly like to watch us playing.

_Lily: Yeah, I like to watch you playing._

**Sirius: Oooh. Remus said that there’s some place were Muggles make famous moving pictures in the US too. Why? Pictures always move!**

_Lily: They don’t in the Muggle world, idiot. Movies go on for about one hour and a half and tell a story, like a book but of course you wouldn’t know. And that place is called Hollywood._

James: So we can go there as well. Lily, you’ll give us Remus’ notes later, he’ll definitely give them to you because it’s your birthday.

_Lily: Take your notes yourself!_

**Sirius: But where would be the fun in that? Besides we’ve got a party to plan.**

 

They’ve destroyed the parchment that they’ve planned the party on, but Sirius has now finally left me alone writing to get some alcohol from the Three Broomsticks. James has gone to get sweets in Honeydukes (because of the amount we’re taking, we’ll even pay this time and not just steal from the storing room where the secret passage to Hogsmeade ends). Marlene’s occupied herself with the decorations, and yesterday already we’ve very nicely asked the house elves to prepare a layered birthday cake for Lily.

_There’s a photo of a cake with three layers, covered in something shiny and strawberries. On the top of it sits a little figure that is undoubtedly Lily, her hair the same shade of grey as the strawberries all over the cake. There’s also little stars and glitter all over the cake’s surface which makes it look really magic. The house elves have outdone themselves and just in one day, too._

That cake looks like covered in liquid gold in reality. Muggles don’t have a cake that beautiful for their wedding! The house elves really love her. We’ve been thinking about inviting them to the party, but they wouldn’t accept.

_There’s a picture of the common room which now sports a huge banner that says “HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY” in strawberry-grey letters that dance on the spot. The armchairs have been put aside and all the tables have been put together to make one big table in front of the window. There’s not yet any food on it but that’s because it would’ve been eaten too early in that case, and same goes for the alcohol. The entire Gryffindor house won’t be present at dinner, but the teachers will know what’s up (and, naturally, send them to bed at a sensible time, but who is already sixteen or older will come back anyways). Marlene’s done something to the lights, too._

So that’s the common room. Marlene’s done a great job. It is by now six pm and James and Sirius have come back. It is now Marlene’s job to go get Lily, and everyone else will quickly put the food and the drinks on the tables. I’ll leave this album in the dormitory, for the sake of its safety, but no need to worry, there will be pictures of tonight.

_There’s a picture of Lily’s face when she sees the common room for the first time. Her mouth has gone slack and her eyes shine like the surface of the lake on a bright day in July. If the Marauders know one thing, it is how to throw a party._

_After that there is a picture of Lily cutting her huge cake. The crowd is cheering and clapping her on, with plates already in their hands, waiting for a piece of cake. It does look amazing, also from the inside, where there are layers separated like with a ruler and little strawberries, too._

_The next picture is a blurry one of the crowd dancing, Lily right in the middle. Her head is thrown back with laughter, her left hand is holding James’ while her right hand is clutched around a bottle of butterbeer. Most of the students are moving in pairs or groups with some kind of drink in their hands and cheeks that have darkened a little and some of the younger students with something spread around their mouths that looks suspiciously like cake. The lights flicker, creating a hypnotic rhythm._

I’m just quickly taking a break to put these three pictures in and get some air, and I wanted to add that we also have non-alcoholic beverages. There are first years at the party after all! And that cake tastes amazing.

_Lily and James are kissing in the next picture, on a table in the middle of the room, dancing to music that we can’t hear through a photograph. Lily leans back and laughs, and James transforms that laugh into a risky dance move that has the crowd cheering once again. Lily’s hair is flying around and James’ glasses are dangerously close to falling off his nose._

_There’s also a picture of Sirius and Remus kissing. Sirius’ cheeks are incredibly dark (he’s pretty wasted already) and his eyes have become darker as well. Remus has his eyes closed and smiles into the kiss dreamily. They are standing a bit on the side (and it really is a mystery who has taken that photo) and seem lost in themselves._

_And what would a party be without a spoilsport that wants to end it? So the next picture is of Professor McGonagall, standing near the portrait hole and sending all the students to bed (with half a smile, though. She can’t help liking her Head Girl and Head Boy, and Gryffindor is her pride after all.) She manages to convince the younger students though that they should better stay in their bed and the older students that they should go to bed._

So now we have to wait a few minutes until Professor McGonagall has gone away and the younger students have all gone to bed, but the party is already continuing in the dormitory. I had to pull the curtains around my bed in order to do write this in peace. Lily is thrilled about her party (I’ve never seen her this tipsy, too, but she deserves to let loose on a day like this and she’s still less drunk than Sirius), loving the decoration and the drinks and the food but mostly loving James. Sirius is calling me now – I doubt that I’ll be capable of writing as carefully as I’ve promised to later. My dear boyfriend becomes so clingy when he’s drunk, and he’ll somehow manage to convince me to drink more than I should on a Monday evening as well. I’ve been honoured to write in here, and now I’m off to party.


	6. 31st of January

Tuesday, 31st of January 1978

We have decided not to go to class today. We haven’t slept all night, but it was so worth it and it’ll also be worth the detention that we’re going to get without any doubt. I would still be buzzing from the adrenaline and from how ecstatic I was yesterday, if not something had happened around four in the morning when there was nobody left but the three boys, Marlene, and me. We were chatting and casually drinking, too drunk and too lazy even to play truth or dare. The atmosphere in the common room was nice, calm by then in all the mess but still with the afterglow of the hype. So we were just sitting there, chilling. Being eighteen is a great feeling.

Of course it was Sirius Black who had to disturb the calm. He stood up suddenly. His legs were so wobbly and his balance so bad that he almost fell over in the process hadn’t Remus grabbed his legs. (By the way, thanks to Remus for making the effort to write yesterday, it’s great to have the memories. Hangover is going strong, even though we haven’t slept yet.) So Sirius was standing, and naturally all eyes were on him.

“I bet you that I can become Padfoot now!” He called out. Marlene and I have looked at each other and just mirrored our expressions of confusion, but the boys panicked. We didn’t know what was up then.

“Sirius, don’t,” Remus warned. “You’re drunk, it’s not safe!” What the hell wasn’t safe and why the hell would he become his cryptic nickname?

“And don’t forget Lily and Marlene!” James added. What was even up with all the secrecy of those boys? But our questions were all answered in an instant.

Sirius transformed into a big black dog. (Right, future people. That is illegal, and that is why you are going to keep your mouths well shut and why we are going to pay even more attention to this album.)

So that was Padfoot. The nickname finally fit, and through my drunken haze, it dawned on me that this and their weird absence just a week ago on the twenty-fourth, and generally once a month were all just pieces of a big puzzle. It took me longer than it should’ve taken me to decipher what was up, but as my defence, I was really drunk.

“Padfoot,” Remus sighed. “Come on, please change back.”

James just crossed his arms, sighing. The big black dog that was Sirius unfortunately was just as uncoordinated and drunk as the boy had been. He was wise enough to lie down – but, apparently, unable or unwilling to change back into his human form. And we were in need of an explanation.

“See,” James said, having sobered up a lot suddenly. “This is for a change exactly as you think. We’re illegal Animagi, Sirius, Peter and me.”

“You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?” I admit, I wouldn’t have asked that bluntly if I hadn’t been drunk and kind of in a state of shock. Remus flinched back, paling immediately, and I knew that I’d made a mistake. So I rambled off about how that was okay and not his fault and that I didn’t think any differently of him and that he was still my friend and that I’d suspected something already long ago anyways and I really don’t remember the exact words. I don’t think that Remus was able to understand everything, but he got the message and the one of the biggest smiles that I’ve ever seen on him spread on his face.

“Yes,” he admitted. “Yes, I am. They’ve become Animagi to support me during the full moon because a werewolf’s venom doesn’t change an animal into a werewolf. Dumbledore and the other teachers know, but you can’t tell anyone. Please.”

I remember that we promised, we swore, and hugged him and that Sirius finally managed to change back like ten minutes later. We also got out of James that he’s a stag – it fits him, really, and it was easy to guess, his nickname being Prongs. Peter is a rat, and that suits him more than any of the others. The incident has proved once more that even though the Marauders really are idiots, they are bloody intelligent ones. Not everyone would manage to become an Animagus – it’s taken Professor McGonagall years, and she is a teacher for Transfiguration and had the ministry to help her. We left the common room at five when one of the house elves sheepishly asked whether they were supposed to clean this night or not (it was one of the house elves that particularly enjoyed it when we did some baking in the kitchens before Christmas), but decided to just stay awake because class was already impossible anyways. So here we are, ten in the morning, eating the greasiest left-over snacks and performing anti-hangover-charms on one another.

Now I know why those three are so good with basic healing charms! Not every little injury or mildly infected scratch that they get while playing with a werewolf can be explained to Mme Pomfrey, she’d get suspicious far too soon, and Professor McGonagall would, too.

(Remus says that sometimes he thinks she already knows, considering all the innuendos that Sirius and James make, the fact that he gets a lot less injuries since fifth year although his level of aggression should be increasing, and the difficulty of becoming a Animagus – how would Professor McGonagall’s sharp eyes not notice three boys in her class holding the leaf of a Mandrake in their mouths for an entire month? Professor McGonagall cares about her children in Gryffindor house – and she was just too proud to give them any kind of punishment.)

Punishment will also not be given because of the party thanks to the house elves. I’ve got a photo of the common room at five this morning:

_The floor is no longer visible except for the spot where the group is sitting. There are bottles and cups and mysterious pieces of fabric that nobody even wants to know the origin of, spilled drinks and crisps that have been crumbled under dancing feet and left on the floor. The layer cake is gone, but there is leftover food on the tables. The armchairs have been thrown over and an empty table has been put in the middle of the room. (Lily knows by whom. She and James danced on it drunkenly at some point during the night.) The light still flickers, so sleepily now, and one side of the banner has been detached and is hanging on the floor._

It looks as if absolutely nothing had happened now. Nothing. House elves are amazing, I can’t repeat that often enough. The wizarding world really should treat them better, as we rely on them for so many things. Anyways, I’m already looking forward to getting into my bed this evening. It was a great eighteenth birthday, the greatest birthday I’ve ever had with the greatest people and the greatest presents. I love James so much, have I already told you this? Well, now you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you the chapters wouldn't be up regularly, didn't I?  
> Well, that doesn't only imply long waiting periods, but also sometimes things happening quickly...
> 
> And, by the way, as you can see some of the chapters are quite random and just little things that I want to happen. So if you have any wishes, feel free to leave a comment and I'll see whether they fit into the overall plot.


	7. 7th of February

Tuesday, 7th of January 1978

_All seventh year students are required to present themselves in their Head of House’s office. You will be informed about possible future orientations and further education or training after your NEWTs, and discuss your own possibilities with your Head of House. Time and date for each individual student are listed below._

_-Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster_

_Lily Evans: Tuesday, 2pm_

_Marlene McKinnon: Tuesday, 2:30pm_

_James Potter: Tuesday, 5pm_

_Sirius Black: Tuesday, 3:30pm_

_Remus Lupin: Tuesday, 5:30pm_

_-Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House_

 

So, I guess that’s this? I’ve put in the notice that was hanging on the wall in the common room. I guess (or at least I hope) that no one will need it anymore, now that the appointments are over anyways. It is now officially Tuesday… evening. Because what could I write if the talks weren’t done with yet? So we’re all sitting in the common room together after dinner this fine Tuesday night. It’s not really a fine weather outside, though. There’s a weird mixture of rain and snow coming down from a depressingly grey sky, I can’t even make out any clouds so many are there. But there’s a fire on in the common room.

Well. So we had our talks, and in conclusion everyone said that they were motivating (although frightening). Professor McGonagall is not as strict as the first impression you get of her, after all!

Some of us were in for quite a surprise. Starting with me, because who would’ve thought that Lily Evans might be becoming an Auror? Well, deep down I might have, because I do want to get active and do something against You-Know-Who. I’d thought about being a Healer before, but Professor McGonagall says that I’d have wasted potential in DADA, and that curses often can’t be healed when the damage has once been done (which would frustrate me incredibly), so apparently… I’m going to train with James, for possibly the most dangerous wizarding profession existing at the moment. Go Lily! My dad would definitely be totally against it, but isn’t that a reason to do it?

As I’ve already revealed, James is becoming an Auror – naturally. I accompanied him to his appointment as we were on Head Girl and Head Boy duties anyways and he came back out of that room barely five minutes later with a determined expression.

It’s sad how the ongoing war has changed our orientations. Two years ago, when we had just about the same talks with Professor McGonagall, although those were quite a lot less scary being rather about NEWTs than the real future after school, I wanted to become a Healer, or to work maybe for the Daily Prophet. But now everything that counts is fighting.

Sirius, too, is joining us in the academy. His main motivation is that there wouldn’t be a job that his family approves less of except for anything that has to do with muggles, and in these times, we all just want to do something, we all just want to protect our world.

Marlene had to listen to a speech a bit more fervid than any of us. She was pale green when she returned to the common room, but not any less determined than James. While she hates to study, that doesn’t mean that she can’t work hard, so we all believe in her to be a professional Quidditch player. If that doesn’t work out, she says, she’s becoming a Quidditch teacher because she likes kids, and I can imagine her doing that incredibly. (It seems that Professor McGonagall felt rather obliged to point out to Marlene all the downsides that a career in professional Quidditch has. She secretly is extremely especially of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, though. So at the end, she even winked at Marlene and gave her biscuit.)

Remus is simply skipping the part where he becomes something else first, he’ll be a teacher, and Professor McGonagall full-on supports him on that. As we now know why it’ll be extremely difficult to find a job for him, the support is worth even more. She said that if nobody agrees to pursuing his further education (needed to actually pass knowledge on to students), she’ll do it herself. Remus is sitting in his armchair opposite to mine and I can see him beaming. He hasn’t stopped beaming ever since he left her office right before dinner now. It’s great to see him this happy. (Who wouldn’t be happy if they could stay at Hogwarts after graduation? Just think of the cake!)

Time is flying by so fast. It’s already been an entire month and a week since New Year’s Eve. One of our six last months is over. (And I feel like all I’ve been doing is study. There’s always an essay to write, or some notes to review, or some spell to practise, or some research to do…) Working also helps blocking out anything and everything. I don’t have all the newspaper articles on hand that come in every day, but they contain horrible news only these times. The political eagerness of Hogwarts students has gone through the roof, now that it actually matters and isn’t just about some silly money conflicts. Everyone has subscribed to the Daily Prophet.

There’s been more attacks by giants, aimed at wizarding villages as well as Muggle ones. About a hundred people have died. There are relatives of students amongst them. I’ve never seen so many students crying over breakfast. Never have so many students come to the Head Students in sheer panic. We’d like to help them, but we can’t.

The boys have started giving out free chocolate (they are kind of stealing from Honeydukes, but at least it is for a good cause) to everyone who is sad or anxious. There’s a funny prank to lighten the mood almost every day. They don’t aim at Slytherins anymore. Hogwarts needs to stick together entirely. The teachers don’t try stopping the pranks anymore. Instead of frowning when something unusual happens because of the Marauders, they now smile.

_There’s a picture stuck in under the entry. It shows the Great Hall while dinner, packed with students at the long tables. They all are laughing at what is in the focus of the picture. Flying through the Great Hall are stuffed animals in all shapes and sizes, from a lion to a snake, dancing and singing in unison. It’s the Hogwarts song they are singing, and even though not a single stuffed animal hits the right notes, at least it is funny. Where they passed by there is glitter in the air. When one moves away, revealing the teachers at their table, one can see them laughing just as much as the students are. (It’s been a successful prank.)_


	8. 14th of February

Tuesday, 14th of February 1978

Dear future people, this is Remus writing and it is Valentine’s Day.

Now let me explain why on this special day that especially girls love so much, it is me writing the entry. The thing is that Valentine’s Day this year unfortunately is not a Saturday, or Sunday. No, Valentine’s Day this year is in fact Tuesday. And there’s no visiting Hogsmeade on Tuesday. The entire Hogwarts student body has thus decided this year’s Valentine’s Day shall not be on the 14th, but on the 18th instead, where a Hogsmeade weekend is planned for. Sirius and I won’t go. Sirius still isn’t allowed to, and I am not very eager, either, so we are staying here. And we are celebrating Valentine’s Day when it really is, which is today. I’m looking forward to it…

_There’s a picture of a blanket fort on the astronomy tower, a proper one with pillows everywhere and some fairy lights on the inside. It is still day, the sky cloudy, some melting snow on the ground and rain falling softly, but the fort is under protecting spells (and heat spells, too, taking into account that the snow only has completely melted in a circle around it), keeping it safe. Sirius is standing in front of it making a kissy face at the camera. His hair is half hiding his eyes, even longer when it is damp. In his left hand, he’s holding a box of chocolates. His right is holding Remus’ hand. That is the only part of the boy that’s visible, the rest is hiding behind the camera, taking the picture._

I’m tired. Tired as fuck, as Sirius would say, but said perfection in human form is currently sleeping soundly in my lap. I’ll probably regret half of the things I’ll be writing tomorrow, or rather today, but oh well. That’s what a yearbook is for, isn’t it? For all the embarrassing and sappy stuff. It is three in the morning. I can hear the wind howling around us, and Sirius breathing softly. When I think about what we did just an hour ago, I still get butterflies in my stomach. But you, future people, don’t want to read about that, do you? Perverts. My lips are still tingling, remembering the feeling of his on them. But anyways. We didn’t only make love tonight. (I’m sorry, Lily. I think Sirius took away my filter. That, or the pleasant buzz that I can feel from the Butterbeer. But still, he’s the one to blame.)

We came here after classes, not even contemplating going to dinner or doing any homework. The fort was already built, nice and warm, the perfect refuge. And then we just sat there, eating the massive amount of food that we’d brought with us from Honeydukes and the kitchen (I know for a fact that Sirius only always insists on that much chocolate because he knows that I can’t live without it), talking, laughing. It was magic. And no, not in a lesson kind of way, I mean that like in those sappy novels because only this evening I felt like in one of those novels.

I don’t want to talk about everything bad that is happening right now in this world, firstly because Lily already does it enough and then because this evening was ours, and special, and not to be destroyed.

_There’s a photo (in the future muggle world, it is going to be called selfie, but the two boys depicted are far from thinking about that) of Remus and Sirius, so tangled each up in each other that you can’t tell to whom each limb belongs. Both smiling, not at the camera but at each other. The picture is just the slightest bit blurry, taken sloppily and one-handed. Their eyes shine brightly, telling stories that are too immense for words._

So we talked about the future and shared memories, and carefully left out the past. In our minds, there was a happy future waiting for us after graduation, me working as a teacher and him working as an Auror and us seeing each other whenever we could, as much as just possible. Maybe even living in Hogwarts both of us? For the cake, Sirius said, he’d go from Hogwarts to wherever he works later every morning. (And for me, but writing that kind of sounds vain?) He’s so beautiful. When he’s sleeping, he’s so peaceful. You never see him this peaceful otherwise, although it has already gotten a lot better since this summer. And then again since we know exactly what has happened, and his father is in prison.

I don’t even know when I’ve started loving him. I remember meeting him on the train when we were eleven and I only knew that I would be hated, especially by people like him, if anyone ever found out my secret. He was a black, he was with Slytherins on that first train ride. He didn’t look happy to me already back then (he was faking a smile), already before I learned to read his emotions better than my own. When they found out, I was sure they’d hate me. Let’s just say they didn’t. Instead, they put themselves and their future in absolute danger just to help me.

Anyways. Have I told you that we’ve eaten the best chocolate cake ever tonight? It was _layered._ If I ever feel the temptation to leave Sirius, it’ll be for a house elf.

I’m getting too tired to write now, so I’ll leave you here. I don’t want Lily to kill me later. (She’ll already do that anyways, I guess, but at least my last words will be readable.

I’m so thankful for everything that was given to me through fate or whatever you might call it. I might be an outsider in every world I can ever go to, but not with my friends.

_There’s a photo of Sirius sleeping, his eyes closed, a small smile on his face, his shirt wrinkled all over, Remus’ arms around his waist. His hair reveals his face entirely this time. The light is time, soft shadows under his eyes. The lighting is dim, and artsy, making the scene look almost like a painting._

Why did he use a non-removable sticking charm? Why?

This is Sirius, by the way. It is five in the morning and I’ve just woken up for some unknown reason, and discovered the album lying next to us. I won’t admit it, but what Remus want made me cry and want to rip the page out to just keep for myself.

So, Lily, if you’re killing Remus, kill me as well, now that I’ve started writing in here.

I love you, Remus, and I, too, am so glad that I’ve been blessed with friends as amazing as all of you. I know, I know, but it’s the middle of the night and what Remus has written in combination with the Butterbeer and the sweets makes even me weird, alright? And sappy, as Remus said.

I’ll go have some more cake then, I guess. And not crumble on this precious album, Merlin forbid. This night was magic and never to be forgotten. To make that sure once again (and to revenge myself, I’ll admit that) I have put in here the following:

_There’s a picture of Remus now, sleeping peacefully, curled up in Sirius arms, his expression similar to Sirius’ from before. His hair is tousled, covering a bit of his forehead. His chest rises and falls softly, his breathing even._

That was Valentine’s Day, future people! We’ll see whether Lily and James can be any sappier on Saturday…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I might or might not have a slight wolfstar-fluff-infatuation. thanks for sticking with me despite the lack of plot. it is two thirty am and i just finished chapter number nine for you. it was very chocolate induced. i don't actually drink alcohol. but i'm spoiling the next chapter for you. tell me rather what you think about this one!


	9. 18th of February

Saturday, 18th of February 1978 (Valentine’s)

It is late. So late, like, almost two am. Actually if it is past midnight, I should’ve written that it’s the 19th, but I want this day to last forever. I’ll deny midnight. Midnight hasn’t happened.

My date with James has happened, though! I won’t deny that, no. So we went to Hogsmeade and it was all so perfect. I don’t remember everything… my head feels funny, like, foggy. I think I’m drunk. Must be the butterbeer that I drunk earlier, and then the firewhiskey that followed… Merlin, when did I make a habit of getting drunk? I’ll regret writing this tomorrow, but who cares? At least it’s authentic. See, future people, I’m not always perfect, and I don’t want to always be perfect. Maybe I feel dizzy because James’ arms are wrapped tightly around me as I write, and every now and then between caressing my hair, he whispers sweet nonsense into my ear. It makes me giggle. I can’t decide whether I hate feeling giddy or whether I love it. I love James.

But I should get this straight or else the future people won’t get me! You need to read this, in case we all die, because we might. There’s a war going on, you know? I’ve always paid attention in history of magic, only to tell Petunia about how much more interesting magic history is compared to muggle history (seriously, giant-dwarf-goblin-wars? Come again, Thirty Years’ War!), but it never actually struck me that wars are a thing that still happens. Discrimination happens. Wars happen all the time. I’ve been childish. We can’t compare World War 1 to Grindelwald, but both wars have cost so many innocent lives and it doesn’t really matter if you kill because of blood status or religion, it’s all the same crap. Shit, I really shouldn’t put two am rambles in here. But wars are so useless and they solve problems as much as detention solves Marauder-problems. What I’m trying to say is remember us. We might seem stupid but we’re a generation of teenagers who at least try to fight against the evil. We’re growing up too quickly and one day we’ll either be dead or scarred adults that pass their burdens onto their children. What is the better way? And will this ever end?

Weren’t we getting this straight? We didn’t start our date by getting drunk in the Three Broomsticks. As if I’d get drunk in the morning. I’m repsno repson responsible. Yes, I am. I am Head Girl. We went to Honeydukes and I remember James buying a lot of chocolate for me. Mint chocolate. I love that boy to bits. To minty chocolatey bits. And then we went on a walk. Well, we were walking all the time, and we weren’t even allowed to leave Hogsmeade (it’s logical and everything, I know), but we still went on a walk. It’s called love and love makes a romantic walk in the middle of screaming first-years possible. I could’ve hugged those annoying children. Shit, I shouldn’t call them annoying. I’m Head Girl. Anyways so we were walking and James was holding my hand and now that I think about it I wasn’t walking, I was floating. I think it was warm.

(I was just informed by James that it was cold today. Huh. He’s laughing at me, but he hasn’t stopped holding me, so I guess he doesn’t really think I’m silly.)

(He’s now told me that he thinks even he’d write better than me at this moment. I haven’t forgiven Sirius yet for writing, even though his handwriting was very much readable and maybe I shouldn’t be this strict all the time. I should drink more. For sure though I won’t let James write. I’m not that drunk.)

(He tells me I should be dreading the hangover. I’m not. I’m currently enjoying the high, thank you very much indeed. Talk to me again tomorrow.)

(Can’t he just go back to whispering sweet things?)

Okay. So we were walking and then we went into Zonko’s because James insisted and because that shop is fun. And I don’t remember what we bought because it was so much because we need to prank so many people with funny and nice things and no one is going to be mean to anyone. Except for Severus. Severus is a meanie and I don’t think he’ll ever change anymore. I’m not sad. I can’t be sad when James is beside me, he’s like a sun. My sun. In our own universe. Where no one can ever be sad because James-sun doesn’t create shadows. Not even Severus-shadows. I hope he won’t bother any of us anymore, but I feel bad about it and my instincts are pure right now. Right to the bone pure baby-drunk like. Babies shouldn’t get drunk, though. Babies would die and we don’t want them to die. Although they’d scream less if they were death. By Merlin’s dirty underwear Lily Evans stop rambling! If Petunia would swear by Merlin, I think she’d tell me exactly that three times a day. And if she was still talking to me. But then she’d first have to acknowledge my existence. So basically we’re talking impossible there. I’m not getting sad!

We bought stuff at Zonko’s and James said something about not being able to carry our bags anymore. I think we went back to Hogwarts through some sort of secret passage way. I couldn’t pay much attention but I’m not the one to blame here. Have I mentioned James’ eyes? They’re _so_ hazel. More hazel than hazelnuts and that’s where the name comes from. Or were hazelnuts named after the colour? Who came up with words even. Words are stupid. Letters mean nothing.

We came back then after dropping our bags off and walked around some more, and then we somehow got into the Three Broomsticks. No! No, we went clothes shopping before. James said something about me absolutely needing that one dress he’d seen. (He wouldn’t let me see the price tag, but I can see the dress right now when I light my wand and it is so beautiful that it makes me want to cry, and I guess it was a lot too expensive for me or my parents to afford and James really shouldn’t spend his money on me that much but I can’t stand up to him.)

(He says I can’t stand up because my legs shake too much. They feel like jell-o, now that I try to feel them. Is it weird that you never really think about your legs? Alcohol and James both alone make me go crazy, and by Merlin, the combination is intoxicating. He’s laughing again. Bastard. Why isn’t he as drunk as I am? That’s not fair!)

I shouldn’t put as much in brackets as I do.

Oh, screw that.

I can put as much in brackets as I want to. I’m a free and emancipated woman. (“And you’re drunk” – James’ quote.)

I don’t remember how many drinks I got. James’ bought us the first, and then Rosmerta decided that we were the cutest couple of the evening and got us some more. Wait, she said that because for once James didn’t even flirt with her to get free drinks! I guess I’ll take that as a compliment instead of reflecting on my boyfriend’s mental condition. She wouldn’t have given us firewhiskey though I guess, so we must’ve gotten it elsewhere but that is where I remember nothing anymore. Well, not nothing. I remember the firework. When did the firework happen?

(James says the firework was on our way back. Since when do they let us stay until it’s dark?)

(He now informed me that actually they don’t – he’s just a Marauder. Merlin he’s so awful. How did I fall in love with someone as awful?)

(I refused James’ input here.)

So the firework was beautiful and it wasn’t pink although it was Valentine’s Day. Maybe that is why I fell in love with James. Because he knows that I like my firework red and green and yellow and blue and purple but not pink. And that I like fireworks in general. And that I say that I don’t like my name being spelled out in the sky for everyone to see but that I secretly love it still because it shows me that someone cares. It shows me that James cares, and that means so much to me. My friends mean so much to me. Marlene and Remus and even Sirius the prick and of course James, of course, and how much can half a year really change? Please don’t ever leave me alone I don’t want to be all on my own. I don’t want to lose my sun and all my other stars around it I don’t want to be a single star in a black galaxy and get sucked up by a black hole and fade into not-existing, I don’t want my life to be like that, I like my time for me but I don’t want to be totally alone. I know that I often prefer being surrounded by books to being surrounded by people, but I can’t talk to books like I can talk to my best friend (Marlene, I will never replace you!) and books will never be able to hold me like James is holding me at the moment. They are maybe able to make me smile. But not to make me feel this warm, or fuzzy in my head, and I don’t want to end up being an alcoholic with nothing but cats and books around me! The prospect isn’t horrible per se.

(James told me that I’m rambling and that I’ll hate him tomorrow if he doesn’t interrupt me. I’ll trust him. Lily Evans, trusting James Potter. Why am I giggling again? Every time I giggle I have to take a break from writing and then I don’t know where I left it off. But apparently this entry isn’t coherent anyways, at least in James’ opinion, so I guess that it doesn’t make much of a difference whether he kisses me in between sentences or just words sometimes or not.)

(He now told me that he loves it when I’m drunk and that I deserve all the fireworks in the world. I’m not drunk, I’m just a little tipsy. But I’ll take the fireworks anyways.)

So there were fireworks and stars on our way home, but the brightest stars were in James’ eyes.

(He says they were in my mine.)

Did we eat something in the evening? Oh, yes we did. We ate strawberries and strawberry ice cream. And cheese toast. I love cheese toast. Not even my mum makes cheese toast as well as the house elves do. But don’t tell her that. I need her to love me still. And I need my dad to love me still. My dad makes the best waffles in the world. Nothing beats dad’s waffles. I haven’t had them in too long. I need to go home. I want to apparate home and eat my dad’s waffles.

(James is a spoilsport. He uses my own knowledge against me. I knew first that it’s not possible to apparate in and out of Hogwarts. I knew it first, no need to tell me. I’m not a baby, I’ve read books. I think I’m the only person in this castle who’s ever read _Hogwarts: A history_. But a girl’s got to dream, and my dream right now is waffles. Freshly baked waffles with whipped cream and a mountain of strawberries. James, stop laughing right now, your breath is tickling my neck and it’s driving me crazy!)

I love him, but enough is enough. And by enough is enough, I mean enough writing is enough writing. I’ve got to give my whiny boyfriend who is cuddled up against me my attention. All of it. Just so that he stops whining. Not because he’s driving me crazy. No. Not at all. His hazel eyes aren’t driving me crazy, and his messy hair isn’t driving me crazy, and his breath on my skin isn’t driving me crazy, and I’ll stop right here immediately or else you future people won’t able be to read this at all anymore, which would probably be for the better then because I think I won’t be able to keep this totally PG-rated…

James, I love you so much, I love you so much, love you so much, love you love you love love love. Merlin, thank you.

(He says he loves me too, and then he told me some more sweet stuff that made my heart flutter, and to make sure to write that down, and then close that damned book and throw it aside so that he can finally kiss me properly. Citation. With a wink.)

Sunday, 19th of February 1978

They beat us. I’m not even sorry. Trying hard to suppress my gag reflex over here, even though she did basically tell me that she loves me and that my hand-writing is just as fabulous as my personality. And by the way, Lily is so hungover that we couldn’t bribe her into having breakfast when we made the house elves get her strawberries. She refuses to let us open the blinds. Basically she refuses everything – and when she’s not sulking, she’s telling us to somehow make her entry of last night go away. Personally though, I think that it is our duty to show dark sides and not so perfect sides and teenage sides of life. So that you in the future will remember us in every facet. Us and our time, and not repeat our parents’ mistakes. So be prepared for war. Be prepared for the ugly truth when you are reading this.


	10. 20th of February

Monday, 20th of February 1978

_Mr. Orion Black has died in prison today after a consequent hunger strike since his sentence to Azkaban for life. One of the most influential wizards of our times died at the age of 49 years after a rather unspectacular end of his so pretentious life. He was denunciated for repeated use of dark magic, being in constant contact and business with well-known dark magicians, and worst, most degrading of all, severe domestic violence against his son Sirius Black, who is currently in his seventh year at Hogwarts. Regulus Black, his younger brother, has meanwhile disappeared. The entire wizarding world should be anticipating either the ultimate rise or the ultimate fall of the noble and ancient house of Black. I, dear readership, will as always be informing you!_

_-Rita Kimmkorn, The Daily Prophet_

This article was in the Daily Prophet today. Why do the worst people always find the easy way out? He died. He simply died in that cell like an absolute coward, while the tension in the world is getting worse with every single day. War is happening, but not to Orion Black.

Sirius found the article. We’ve all taken up on reading the newspaper. He must’ve known it before somehow. He was pale already when he came down for breakfast, but after he’d read the article, his face turned more white than Nearly Headless Nick’s. He got up, threw the newspaper onto his half-full plate, and stormed out. Staggering, rather. Remus followed him immediately, and James and I didn’t take long until we’d found out what had upset him went after them either. When we found them outside in the cold, foggy morning (the sun had yet to burn through the deep-hanging mist), Sirius was just done throwing up in the bushes. His face was sickly green.

I’m starting to doubt that you want a description this precise, but what did Sirius say? We’re telling the bare, ugly truth here, not some Ministry-censored unprecise and made up stuff that clouds two thirds of it. So the news made Sirius puke, although they were good ones. He insisted that he was fine. Remus insisted on him not going to classes today. He agreed. We told the teachers, and they understood; of course they did. Hogwarts teachers are like that – they’ll give you a month’s worth of detention without batting an eyelash, or make you write three parchments of essay if they’re having a bad day, but they’ll always understand your problems. Well, most of them.

Actually, I feel like adding a picture right here to emphasize just how horrible this day is. The weather really mirrors the overall mood in the castle. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people that’re only happy when it’s smoking hot outside and you can’t find a single cloud in the sky. I even don’t like that kind of weather, because, well, have you looked at me? Even my eyelashes are red. And freckles. Can you imagine how easily I get sunburn? Instead I like expressive clouds, thunderstorms, mild sunny days, clouds that you can search pictures in… Basically anything that’s not simply one colour, be it grey or blue. Today it is grey. It is depressing. It is horrible. So enjoy a picture of me with a horrible face in front of this horrible weather. (The air was so humid while taking this that I could’ve almost skipped my shower. I didn’t, then. The rain did not provide enough shampoo to thoroughly clean my hair. And, by the way, it was Sirius who told me not to focus on him this entry. So I’m telling you some irrelevant stuff about the weather and the general mood until later. You’ll find out what I mean.)

_There’s a picture of Lily, pouting, in front or rather inside a wall of fog. The outline of the trees behind her, the Forbidden Forest, is only just visible. If you look for it, which you obviously do, because you’ve got zero other indication that she’s standing on the steps to the castle’s entrance door, save for maybe that she wouldn’t want to walk further. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest and she’s wearing a massive hoodie that obviously belongs to James, already because the colour clashes with her hair (well, you assume that from the shades of grey, but sources can tell you that you’ve assumed correctly as you presumably know Lily Evans’ hair colour and just as presumably know what the red of clothes looks like, and because the shades of grey are just too close not to clash, and too different to be identic) and a girl doesn’t buy clothes that don’t go well with her hair, she’d just never. But she’d wear her boyfriend’s clothes even though they don’t fit her hair. So, James’ hoodie, confirmed. (You cannot see the back in the photo, but there’s “James Potter” written on it also. It’s one of his twenty Quidditch jumpers. She’s rocking back and forth slightly in the moving picture, cold. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and every now and then, she sticks her tongue out cheekily at the person holding the camera._

So today’s not a bright day. It’s also Monday. Isn’t just _Monday_ already enough of a punishment? But just wait until lunch, which is in five minutes as our free period is almost over. Sirius has been staring at the fire in the common room the entire morning. His expression is grim, but neither positive nor necessarily negative. We’re taking him along for lunch. I’ll tell you afterwards what happens during lunch. I’d spoil everything if I told you before, wouldn’t I? Although for you, future people, it makes no difference. You’ll read this, and seconds later you’ll read what I’ll have written hours later.

_There’s a picture that’s black only. Literally black only, focusing on nothing, with not a single source of light anywhere in sight. There’s no one in the picture, nothing. Just black._

Number one.

_Shiny dots keep appearing, growing in size and strength, deflating, disappearing. Stars. The movement of the universe in accelerated and exaggerated fashion. Infinity in simple movements that a camera was able to capture._

Number two – starting to guess what we’re taking photos of here? Quick reminder: It is noon still.

_Students’ faces, illuminated by bright lights dancing all around them in otherwise complete darkness. Smiles, hesitant and bright ones, lit eyes and happy faces, joy. No trace of bitterness, agony, fear. Dancing white spots in darkness._

Basically we put stars in the Great Hall.

_A shot up to the teacher’s table, and the same picture there: happy faces, the classical ‘turn that frown upside down scenario’ to be found, not a trace of anger which is great because it means no detention. Lights are dancing in that picture at well, though it is blurrier, taken in the movement of the moment and the excitement of being amongst the stars._

Of course the entire school knows who did. I genuinely believe that the Marauders plus Marlene and me are the only seventh year students who still get away with pranks. Can you even call what we do pranks by now? It’s more like a mission to make at least Hogwarts a bright place for all students. And sometimes, to create something bright, you have to plunge right into complete darkness first. I think Sirius is feeling better. We all reassured him earlier that he isn’t like his father. He can make his own decisions. His future is not predestined by his last name! What that Kimmkorn-woman writes is crap. I know you’re reading over my shoulder, _Sirius_. I won’t turn around now, but I want you to know that we’re all, all behind you.

I think the literal only people in the castle that weren’t impressed by what we did (they did a miserable job at pretending that they really weren’t, too!) were some more or less irrelevant Slytherins. We know from most of them that they’ll end up as Death Eaters anyways. Severus threw me a death glance earlier when I held James’ hand on our way out of the hall, when the grey sky wasn’t yet back, the ceiling still covered by darkness and shining stars. It was an Avada Kedavra cast only by his eyes, and it hurt almost as much as a literal one until I was able to remind myself that this was Snape, not Severus, not the boy who had taught me everything I knew about magic before I even got my Hogwarts letter, back when I was a little girl who played on swings on empty playgrounds and flew higher than everyone else. I still want to fly higher than anyone else, but the burdens on my shoulders hold me down, keep me grounded. They haven’t yet managed to press me deeper, and I’m determined to keep it that way.

But this chapter wasn’t supposed to be about me! I should stop being so self-centred, even though this album _is_ mine. We’re in the common room now, after dinner, after classes, just casually working on some assignments (or not), enjoying the fire and the untypical quiet. Sirius is better. He’s scribbling away mindlessly on a paper, and he still looks distressed, physically present but not mentally, but he’s holding Remus’ hand and I think love is a good way to fly high and stay grounded at the same time. James is holding my left hand as I’m writing this. He’s working on some kind of Quidditch strategy that I really don’t see through, but I’ll guess I’ll find out whether he did a good job or not when we play Hufflepuff on March blablba.

_There’s a photo of the entire crew sitting by the fireplace. Marlene is painting her fingernails a dark, intense colour, James is scribbling away on a paper, Sirius is looking over his shoulder, Remus is reading in what is probably a text book and most likely potions, and Lily is grinning at the camera. Judging by how much it shakes, the camera must be held by a younger students so that for a change, the image features them all. Peace and calm is in their positions, and the fire behind them, and the soft shades of grey without much contrast, blurring at the edges._

I was tempted to ask that first year to take the picture again and shake less while doing so, as I must admit, but the more I looked at it, the more I like it. Not everything has to be sharp and defined and clear, and not everything is black and white, or pure and dirty, or good and bad, and that is how I’ll leave you for today. I hope you, my future people, live in a world that is more accepting, and more open than ours. I hope that you grow up without learning how to fight.


	11. 26th of February

Sunday, 26th of February 1978

I hate Snape. I hate Snape so much. How could I ever believe he was a decent human being? How could I ever consider him a friend of mine? How could I ever defend him?

But let me tell you the story the right way, from beginning to the end.

So this thing happened.

And I should have told you earlier, really; I should have told you two days ago. But then again, this isn’t live or anything, this is just some teenagers writing into a book that might be read by someone later. You don’t care whether today is Sunday or Friday. Still, I feel like I should have told you when it really happened, not as some kind of flashback.

I simply couldn’t.

How could I sit down to write when James was hospitalized?

The thing is, James often goes to the Hospital Wing. Ninety percent of the time, it’s because of Quidditch, and the rest because he can be clumsier than you might think. Okay, not true. Sometimes it also is because of me… Or it used to be at least. But this time, it is serious.

Also, he isn’t in the Hospital Wing. I’m not even at Hogwarts right now. I’m sitting beside James’ bed in Saint Mungo’s. He’s currently sleeping. He’s mostly been sleeping ever since he was rushed here Friday around eleven pm. I don’t remember much of it, but I’d never seen Dumbledore as angry.

You will understand that there are no pictures of anything that has happened. I can describe what I remember, even though it is mostly shouts and lights and flashes of panic.

Actually, I shouldn’t just talk about James, but I’m still so shaken that I can’t get my thoughts straight. I’m meant to go back to class tomorrow. I don’t know yet how I’ll possibly manage.

Sirius is in the Hospital Wing. Remus is with him (not the one ill for a change.)

He’s blessed, but not as severely as James, so that Mme Pomfrey is able to mend him with her potions and her magic. She looked over James for a second, or rather just a ghost of him with a red puddle underneath (he’s still so pale, whiter than the effing hospital gown, he’s lost so much blood, and there are cuts all over his body from what I can see) and immediately yelled at Dumbledore to get him into Saint Mungo’s and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.

He was unconscious for twelve hours before he woke up. Twelve hours. I thought he was dead. I thought I’d lost him. I can’t handle that. I’ll never be able to handle losing James. And yet, every day, I might lose him, due to this stupid war that none of us ever wanted to take part in. And when he woke up, I just saw the horror in his eyes.

What Snape is doing now, after the fucking excuse for a wizard, the bag of scum, the greasy useless prick, snuck up on James as he came back to the castle last from Quidditch practise, and attacked him from behind, taking his wand from him and not even giving him a chance to fight, the slimy coward? He’s staying at Hogwarts and probably laughing his ass off. Because we can’t effing prove anything. Ran away, but only after Sirius came and had a wand and was ready to fight. Sirius was only slightly injured, and then Snape was gone, and his Slytherin friends are protecting him. They can’t throw him out. If I could, I’d kill him myself. I feel like my insides are boiling. I hate him, I despise him, I don’t even have words for how much I want to strangle him with my bare hands.

I feel like my control over my world is slipping away, faster and faster. Soon, it will be gone, and I’ll have nothing to hold onto. There are dark wizards everywhere, and they’ve been invading Hogwarts, and I don’t know who to trust anymore.

When James woke up, his eyes were empty and his smile was faint.

I cried. I’m still close to tears. I haven’t left Saint Mungo’s since Friday. I haven’t showered (I barely managed to use a cleaning spell), I’ve barely eaten, and only because the nurses forced me, and I’ve barely slept, only when I passed out in my chair from exhaustion. They haven’t tried to send me away. Saint Mungo’s has never seen times like these, either, not even when Grindelwald was at the top of his power. They don’t separate anyone from those they love anymore.

The healing process is slow, but at least he’ll live, and he’ll be healthy again, and he’ll play Quidditch again, the healers assured me. I’m so glad. It’s a bitter-sweet silver lining in all of this misery.

James is waking up. I’ll keep you up to date. I need to be there for him now. We need to be there for each other.


	12. 1st of March

Wednesday, 1st of March 1978

So much has been happening, you don’t even know. Again, I should have told you earlier, I should have kept my promise and written more regularly, but there is just so much on my mind, on everyone’s minds. Also, I wanted to bring some good news, and there weren’t really any major ones until yesterday, but wait for it.

James was stable, that was all they could tell. Stable and slowly, painfully slowly recovering. I hated seeing him suffer like that as much as he hates being tied to bed twenty-four/seven. You see, while I enjoy a good book and a comfy bed more than sweating outside in ugly weather, he really is the active type, and not running around for days gets to him incredibly. Even when I could tell that moving an inch hurt him. I get him, too. Hospital beds aren’t that comfortable, and after a while, dull white walls start to annoy anyone.

I was with him as much as I could be, we all were, but we also had to attend classes again. Now, at least seeing him will get easier. He’s back at Hogwarts! Don’t get me wrong, he’s still in Hospital Wing and not in a good condition and I still want to punch Snape in the effing nose every time I cross him in the corridors and just see that knowing glint – but he’s not at the Mungo’s anymore, and we’ll celebrate every small step. Also Mme Pomfrey is kind of friendlier than those nurses over there about visiting/rest times (surprising, I know) and also he claims that the food is five times as good, which lifted his mood, which lifted the general mood, which is great.

Also great is that Sirius was back to attending classes Monday after lunch already. He’s not allowed outside yet, not to mention on his broom (and Remus firmly, and very firmly added that he isn’t allowed to run around as Padfoot either at least until this weekend, it’s so damn cute when they get all protective over each other), but hey, I can only repeat myself. We’re celebrating small steps!

Okay, so I said I still want to punch Snape right in the face, which is essentially true. Just, I already did. Ten minutes ago. And it kind of reminded me of this book, because for a moment, my head was clear in the purity of satisfaction. I held still for a moment, admiring the sheer look of shock on that wannabe bad guy’s face, and the pain in his eyes, and then… I laughed and ran. They can’t prove what he did to James, right? They won’t be able to prove what I did to him. (The blood coming out of his nose was still red, and I don’t remember him coming from a posh family… It needs to be said. Severus Snape is not a pureblood. His family is problematic and his childhood was awful, but nothing excuses his behaviour now, and nothing explains why he has turned to that side. I’ll just have to admit that his soul is thoroughly black. Evil.) Don’t tell anyone, though! I’m Head Girl, and I’ll have you in detention… as soon as I get out.

I’m currently not with James, but in my dormitory. Funny how little time I’ve been spending here lately. Mme Pomfrey did kick me out of the Hospital Wing like half an hour ago (after a long, long time, she’s not to blame), saying something along the lines of “I don’t want you in here next because you forgot to sleep!” It’s eleven pm, and I really should sleep. At least I’ve done my homework, James is untypically eager on catching up (or he simply feels guilty that he keeps me from working. That’s so twisted. He shouldn’t feel sorry for anything right now.)

I’ve just realized that I’ve gotten more and more careless about how I write into this book. I was really trying to keep it beautiful and everything at the beginning, and neat, and now basically I sit down and write whatever comes to my mind. Oh, that reminds me, I have a photograph for you.

_Lily and James are smiling brightly into the camera. She is leaning over from the side, holding the camera with her arm stretched out, and sticking her tongue out in the short sequence when James pokes her cheek. He is pale, and he looks tired, but he’s smiling, and there’s a glint of happiness in his eyes._

We had fun taking that one. He fell asleep five minutes later.

Wait a moment, I think someone’s knocking on our dormitory’s door.

_Lily, is the first line on the document glued in, the too-white printer paper,_

_We, Miss Petunia Evans and Mr. Vernon Dursley, are delighted to announce our wedding on Sunday, 9 th of July. The ceremony will take place in Cokeworth church at 11 o’clock._

_Please inform us whether you’ll be able to take part in the celebrations._

_On a further note, formal dressing is required. Suggestions for wedding gifts will be given by the groom’s mother._

_Sincerely,_

_Petunia Evans and family._


	13. 4th of March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please bear with me.

Friday, 3rd of March 1978

Hi, this is James. I realize that my writing is beyond bad, but bear with me – I’m still in a hospital gown! Although I am sitting up to write this now.

Why, you are surely asking yourself, am I writing in here?

First of all, I wanted to tell you that slowly, when people ask me how I feel, I can say fine again, which is great, because explaining the pain I was in every single time, when there’s an easy word like fine, was getting annoying as hell. So, I’m fine! I’ve got a pile of sweets on my bedside table and my girlfriend next to me as often as possible. I can even look out of the window, but I don’t do that very often. The sky’s just grey anyways, and it’s kinda even more depressing when it’s blue, because then I’d like to be playing Quidditch.

I don’t really remember anything about what happened – I was walking back to the castle after Quidditch training, and next thing I know, I wake up in Mungo’s and feel like I’ve been run over by the Hogwarts express multiple times. Believe me, that is not a great feeling! I should be glad that I’ll be able to play Quidditch again, and even rather soon. The Healers really did their job well, and Lily said Merlin bless Sirius for finding me as quickly as he did, otherwise it might’ve been too late for me. It all seems so unrealistic. I can’t imagine dying. Just – being gone. My parents are dead, and yet I haven’t realized what death means. It is almost as if my brain doesn’t want to.

On not really a lighter note, I had to take this book from Lily because she kept staring at the wedding invitation and it was doing her no good. Really, can’t the world leave us alone for just a few days?

Sometimes I wish I was the giant squid. He never has to leave his lake! Then again, I’d probably go mad. Even Professor McGonagall came here and, hold on, sit down, told me that she was proud of me! And then she proceeded to give me a hell of a lot of coursework to do. But still, I think Minnie is finally warming up to me! Look, we even snapped a quick picture.

_There’s indeed a picture (it’s a little tilted to one side, not glued in as perfectly as Lily normally does it) of a grinning, but still quite pale James. He’s holding his left thumb up, and the camera with his right hand. It’s shaking slightly. Professor McGonagall is smiling, and that, coming from her, is a lot already. Her hair is a little dishevelled. She doesn’t seem totally comfortable, but still unwillingly infected by James’ happiness._

I just had to capture this moment. I’ll keep it forever. Her hair wasn’t perfect.

And no. We’re not talking about my hair right here, I know that it is utter crap and I hate it. If you just mention it, I won’t guarantee for anything. Sirius keeps flaunting his hair in front of me. He’ll so pay for that when I’m back on my feet.

And, guys, don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to play everything down.

I’m taking all of this seriously. You can just take things too seriously, too. I do comfort Lily. She’s asleep on a chair next to me right now, but I’ll make sure she gets some real sleep tonight and everything. Be a proper boyfriend. I just can’t properly hug her, but I’ll get to that as well. Let’s be real, everyone around is just a great mess at the moment. Seventh year would already be confusing if we only had to choose our future professions, but now? It’s like walking through the forbidden forest at night without lights. And no, Padfoot, not in our Animagi forms.

I’m getting exhausted from writing (pathetic, isn’t it?), so I’ll leave this entry here. Thank you for letting me rant!

Saturday, 4th of March 1978

How many times have I written “I love James” in this book yet? I’m becoming such a sap. Worse, I’m apparently becoming leader of the James Potter-fan club! He deserves a lot more credit than I gave him for six years, though. Taking the book away from me was a good decision. I was able to clear my head a little and get some things straight. Now, though, it is my turn to rant.

I can’t believe she did it like that. I can’t believe she’s marrying the walrus. Why, Tuney, why? My sister has done a lot of horrible things to me, that’s for sure, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her. She’s treated me like scum just because I’m different, just because her narrow-mindedness doesn’t allow magic in this world. But she’s still kind of my sister, and she deserves better than him. Hell, without him that conflict between us probably wouldn’t even has escalated that much!

The Petunia that I knew had dreams. She would’ve never gotten married at nineteen. What if she’s gotten herself pregnant? What if he’s forced her to marry him, to settle down and be his perfect show-off wife?

I don’t know whether I’m going to attend the wedding at all. I feel like I should, sister and everything, but my presence might also destroy the entire thing for her and I don’t want that. She’s always wished for a perfect wedding. If already her choice of husband was rather poor, she doesn’t need a _freak_ there, crushing the celebrations, as well. I guess I’ll just leave her be in her perfect little world where I don’t belong to the family anymore. I’ll go to the Auror academy, I’ll build my own life with my own family, and if nothing works out, I’ll join Hagrid on the Hogwarts grounds.

Oh, or I’ll move to Australia and start off again, but before I do that, I’ll kill Snape with my bare hands.

Or with my wand, I don’t know. Might be less messy, more efficient. But I can’t tell you anything else, I don’t want any evidence when I do it. (Now that I think about it, this world is corrupt as hell anyways, and everything is always about money and blood status. I, at the moment, have nothing.)

Or America? But only when this damned war is over. This damned war. Merlin, make it stop.


	14. 5th of March 1978

Sunday, 5th of March 1978

Slytherin is playing Hufflepuff today, and James has protested (loudly) for hours, until Dumbledore himself made sure that he, on a floating stretcher, is now able to attend the game. It’s incredible how much power of persuasion he has. Seriously, sometimes I think it is his only talent and he just manages to trick us all into believing he’s so great. Think about it. His grades – perfect, although he does nothing. He’s popular as hell – what for even? He’s great at Quidditch, I’ll give him that one, but would he also be captain? James Potter, you’ve been discovered. (Oh, what if he is part Veela? That’s even possible in those old pureblood families! I mean, his hair is black, his eyes are hazel, he needs glasses, all strong counter arguments, but it _would_ explain his charisma.)

So we’re at the Quidditch pitch right now, after Dumbledore has made the stretcher fly all around the Quidditch pitch once (I sometimes wonder how sane he really is), and I must say, everything is perfect. Slytherin is losing, the sun is shining and getting stronger, the crowd is cheering and I’m surrounded by everyone I love. All non-Quidditch players of us, Marlene, Remus and me, are glad that with our two invalids, it is not Gryffindor playing today, because then, they wouldn’t be as cheerful. Gryffindor’s next game is only in like six weeks or something. Until then, they’ll hopefully be back on their brooms.

Right now Hufflepuff is ahead with 40 points, the score is 110:70 already. We’ve been sitting here for a while, and there’s no sign of the snitch yet, but if you ask me, this could go on for a few hours now, no problem. It’s Sunday and all homework’s done. This is what happiness feels like.

Do you know that feeling when life creates a small bubble around you, and inside that bubble, you can just forget about the rest of the world and be happy – HUFFLEPUFF HAS JUST SCORED AGAIN! They’re insane today!

Anyways, my bubble. Don’t you know that feeling? An older friend I once had in primary school told me her bubble was always blue, and that calmed her down. She could properly visualize it, and I thought that was so cool. By now, I know that my bubble is of a light green. (Not Slytherin-green, more like early spring grass green, with a hint of mint, green like young leaves… you get the idea, don’t you? Green like my eyes, James absolutely wants me to add. He, whenever the game slows down a little, looks over my shoulder and complains that I’m not properly engrossed in fourteen blokes flying around on that pitch. Duh.) What would your bubble be like?

HUFFLEPUFF SCORES AGAIN!

…Slytherin scores.

…Slytherin scores again. Score is now 130:90. The crowd is starting to go wild. Why is everyone screaming all of a sudden?

Oh, the Seekers are diving now! They’ve spotted the snitch! The chasers just casually stop playing and watch them, I think the Quaffle is in Hufflepuff possession though, but they aren’t throwing it around anymore. Everyone’s eyes are glued to the two Seekers. Is it always like that? It almost feels like the crowd is holding its breath. I can see the snitch, too, now…. (you’re lucky I don’t have to get up and jump around like everyone else because James can’t, either) It’s a simple little glinting golden ball that everyone freaks out so much about. Okay, and it flies.

AND THE HUFFLEPUFF SEEKER HAS CAUGHT IT!

I’m deeply sorry about all of the capital letters today, but I’ve got to admit that this is kind of exciting. And of course the Quidditch players are hot.

I’ll leave you with only a little page today before

  1. This album lands on the floor in all the chaos that surrounds us and gets all dirty
  2. Someone snatches this album from me and disgraces it
  3. James strangles me because I said that the other Quidditch players are hot, and then dies himself because of the effort.



See you soon, future people!

_There’s a blurry picture of yellow-black and silver-green shadows flying around on the pitch, throwing the red Quaffle. The sky is bright blue and the crowd in the stands is cheering and moving so much that it looks like one big sea of colours._

_The second picture that was added to the entry is almost as blurry, and thirty percent of it is Sirius’ arm who insisted they are all in one photo together. From left to right, Marlene, Lily, James, Remus and Sirius himself are grinning brightly into the camera. James is lying down, and he is totally covered in red-golden Gryffindor and yellow-black Hufflepuff gear equally._

_The third picture is of James on his stretcher only, showing the camera a thumbs-up (in his lying down, not allowed to move position – classy) and smiling widely as he just floats about at Lily’s height towards the Quidditch pitch. (It’s Dumbledore who makes the stretcher float, but the camera doesn’t capture him.) He’s wearing significantly less Gryffindor and Hufflepuff colours at this point still – makes one wonder where he got everything from, doesn’t it? Possibly Dumbledore himself?_


	15. 10th of March

Friday, 10th of March 1978

6am: Operation “happy birthday Remus” is starting. I present to you the assigned tasks:

 **Leader:** Sirius _Padfoot_

  * makes everyone do what they’re supposed to do
  * food
  * Minerva McGonagall



**Prankster:** James _Prongs_

  * keeping Sirius calm
  * fireworks



**Prankster assistant:** Marlene

  * James’ personal servant
  * puppy duty (just wait for it)



**Protocol:** Lily

  * well, writing



 

6:05am: James and Marlene are heading to the Great Hall long before the breakfast rush starts. I doubt that right now there’s even food on the tables already. Sirius is currently at the kitchens. He’s been there yesterday already, and he came back very satisfied, smelling like he’d been dumped in a bucket of liquid chocolate. Remus got suspicious back then, but he kept it to himself, the great friend he is. Right now, he is sleeping. (We’re lucky that first of all, he’s a deep sleeper, and secondly, girls are allowed in the boys’ dormitory.) No, I’m not watching him sleep! I’m sitting on James’ bed, and his curtains are closed. Am I Sirius now, or what?

6:10am: Padfoot back from the kitchens, mission number one accomplished. The subject is still sleeping soundly, and I’m getting bored.

6:12am: Padfoot has taken off for his second mission of the day, entitled “Minnie”. No news about the Prongs and Marlene. I wish I had a walkie-talkie, communication would make it easier not to fall back asleep.

6:25am: Prongs and Marlene back at the dorms. Hogwarts is starting to wake up. We’re anticipating Remus’ awakening, but still waiting for Padfoot to be back before the plan will be continued.

6:27am: Padfoot back, grinning and bouncing. Too much energy.

6:29am: Marlene leaving for her top secret mission. Meeting with Hagrid at 6:30, right outside the castle.

6:30am: Padfoot and Prongs looking at some piece of parchment all secretively over on Padfoot’s bed. I’m going to try and find out what it is.

6:31am: I just found out about the Marauder’s map. No time to investigate further right now, but by Merlin, if those boys got their grades for their mischief instead of their participation in classes, they’d be slaying everyone. And their normal grades are already nearly perfect! Twats.

6:32am: Marlene back, carrying a box. Sirius delighted, James beyond sceptical. Now, we wait. Breakfast is scheduled for 7:15 today. Before, we’ve still got some plans…

6:36am: Noise starting to come from Remus’ bed. We’re holding our breaths by now.

6:38am: Breathing again.

6:40am: Movement!

6:41am: Confetti is everywhere. Confetti is literally everywhere. What is it with Confetti? The birthday boy looks like he’s still half asleep, but he’s beaming at us even though we’re shouting our congratulations at him. You don’t turn 18 every day, after all.

6:45am: I was finally able to free myself from the group hug. Box still safely hidden away.

6:46am: I don’t know why that is, but I’ve just realized that every birthday we celebrate this year is going to be epic. We need to make the best of this year, James says. No dark themes today, but think for yourself.

6:48am: Remus is putting on proper clothes. Again, we’re not watching. Well, Sirius is, but I don’t even want to think about that. The revelation of the box is approaching rapidly.

6:51am: The time has come. Muffliato has been cast.

6:52am: Puppy released. Remus squealing. Puppy jumping onto his lap. Remus squealing louder. The rest of us laughing. Puppy barking. Chaos.

6:54am: Explications starting. I’ll give you an idea of the dialogue.

 

_Remus, incredulous: You have not gotten me a puppy._

_Sirius: (jumping over to his boyfriend) Puppies are awesome! You are awesome! Awesome things should be together!_

_James: (leaning back) And Sirius is a dog. Dogs should be together._

_Remus: (giving in to Sirius’ kiss) But how? When? Where?_

_James, dry: Hagrid._

_Remus, beaming: (pets the puppy)_

_Marlene: It’s a nice puppy. You can name it._

_Remus: I love it, but how… Puppies aren’t allowed…_

_James, dry as a desert: Hagrid._

_Sirius: He loves it!_

_Remus: And I love you idiots._

 

6:56am: Abort mission, dialogue is getting too cheesy. (We love you too, Remus, even when we’re not snogging your face off like Sirius.) Oh no, another group

7:01am: hug.

7:02am: Padfoot and Prongs shouting at the top of their lungs. The puppy protected by Marlene, Remus in the middle of the attack. We need to calm them down.

7:06am: Mission accomplished. If we want operation “happy birthday Remus” to continue properly, we need to get down to breakfast soon.

7:07am: By the way, Alice Creevey has been bribed into taking photos of what’s going to happen. She doesn’t know what that will be, though.

7:09am: Heading down the stairs. Sirius is giving Remus a piggy back ride. Marlene getting puppy back to Hagrid. He’ll keep the little one safe until our graduation, although of course we’re going to be with him as much as possible. After Hogwarts then, Remus can take two dogs for walks.

7:12am: Sitting at the Gryffindor table. Successfully keeping Remus from eating.

7:14am: Subject is getting suspicious.

7:15am: Fireworks. Fireworks everywhere. Remus’ expression is epic. The entire crowd is cheering. We might or might have not told everyone to get their asses out of bed early today. Teachers at the staff table are cheering. Remus is crying from happiness.

7:16am: A massive chocolate cake has appeared in front of Remus’ place, and then there’s chocolate ice cream, and there are some chocolate croissants and other exquisite French chocolatey stuff and chocolates in general. The house elves really have a special thing for Sirius.

7:17am: McGonagall standing up at the staff table, turning around and bam! “Remus Lupin is my favourite student” is written on her back. Remus is now crying from laughter, too. How Sirius managed to bribe her into that is still a mystery to me.

7:19am: The chocolate cake is incredible.

7:20am: Remus looks like he’s on cloud nine. He keeps blinking as if he couldn’t believe it.

7:21am: The chocolate ice cream is amazing, too. What did they do with that? Is that a hint of hazelnut?

7:22am: The fireworks still haven’t completely stopped, but they’re getting weaker. I can’t wait to put the photos in here, I’ve seen Alice taking them.

7:23am: We’re continuing our breakfast feast of chocolate. Everything has worked out magically. (I feel like taking Remus to a Muggle bar when we’ve graduated Hogwarts. Eighteen! That’s not even special in the wizarding world.)

7:56am: Breakfast is finished and I feel like a fat pygmy puff. A happy fat pygmy puff. A happy fat pygmy puff loaded with chocolate. Remus looks like the happiest guy on earth and it’s making me so happy I might explode but that would leave the entire Great Hall covered in a mixture of chocolate and body parts and we don’t want that and why am I even talking about this. It’s sugar induced. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to get through today. Or get up the stairs to go to class.

3:45pm: Classes finished for today! Classes finished for this week! This evening is party time! We’re decorating the Gryffindor common room. As Remus already got his surprise, he’s allowed to help. The only one who doesn’t have to work is actually me, but therefor, my hand is starting to cramp from all the writing today. No, just kidding.

3:47pm: I might as well put in some of the pictures.

_Lily and Marlene, still in pyjamas, are grinning into the camera sleepily. It’s dark around them. Their faces are illuminated by the tip of Lily’s wand only. This is where the operation started._

_Lily is sitting on James’ bed, fully clothed now, album in her lap, smirking at whoever is holding the camera. The quality is poor due to the darkness, but they needed to keep Remus asleep at that point, right?_

_Marlene and James in the Great Hall, setting up some suspicious looking things everywhere, hiding them carefully behind plants._

_In Professor McGonagall’s office. The teacher’s back is turned towards the camera. On her coat, glittery letters say ‘Remus Lupin is my favourite student’. (They’re in Gryffindor colours.) The camera is shaking with the all too familiar movement of laughter._

_Massive Hagrid with the tiny black puppy in his arms. The sight is far beyond adorable. The sun is rising behind them, making all contours soft and pretty._

_Sleepy Remus with shock and sheer happiness in his eyes and a puppy in his lap that won’t stay still so that even in the already moving photo it manages to be blurred._

_Sleepy Remus with puppy and Sirius coming from behind._

_Sirius and Remus kissing, puppy jumping off Remus’ lap. Wise puppy._

_Fireworks. Okay, there is like ten pictures of the fireworks, and they’re all essentially the same because there are no colours in them, but some spell out happy birthday and some spell out Remus and some spell out Moony and some spell out Marauders and some are just stars and one looks suspiciously like a dog._

_Students and staff. Same number of pictures, happy and excited and shocked and overwhelmed and joyful faces. McGonagall’s back with the writing on it. Dumbledore’s absolutely delighted smile. Snape’s hatred that is so extreme that you can only laugh about it._

_Remus. Remus again and again. Beaming, smiling, not shy, not drawing back. Remus in his element, amongst his friends. Oh, and Remus kissing Sirius of course. Multiple times that one. And no, it is not getting annoying, because those two look like they’re made for each other (and, admittedly, they also look pretty damn hot together) and because they make each other happiness._

4:35pm: Remus’ happiness was the main goal for the day, and boy, it has been accomplished.

5:23pm: We definitely have enough butter beer and fire whiskey and chocolate frogs. And Confetti. Confetti is everywhere! And glitter. And Gryffindor colours. And every possible surface says “happy birthday Remus”. And they’re still not done with their preparations.

5:43pm: They have decided to go for a walk with the puppy. (It needs a name, by Merlin, I can’t keep calling it ‘the puppy’!) That’s a good idea for sure. It’ll hopefully calm them down a little. And it’s not even raining right now!

6:32pm: They’ve come back soaked. Getting ready for the party, the really fun part, is now officially starting. Let’s get some makeup on! I’m really looking forward to Sirius in eyeliner again… James, I know you’re pouting after reading this, but it’s your own fault that you refuse to wear it!

_Group picture of everyone dressed up, with makeup and everything (no, James is not wearing eyeliner). Remus is in the middle (not wearing eyeliner either, but a white shirt that looks amazing on him, and his hair has been done beautifully), positively crushed under all of them. He doesn’t seem to mind._

7:55pm: Let the party start! (I’ll update you tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow – depending on the hangover;)


	16. 12th of March

Sunday, 12th of March 1978

I had the worst hangover ever. Honestly, it was so bad. I thought back to when I used to be a model student, sweet and innocent… must’ve been boring days.

Today is a bright and sunny day. Nah, actually not. It’s cloudy, and windy, and it’s raining, and I just want this to end and spring to come. It’s March! I suppose there are flowers in the Forbidden Forest already, like snowdrops and that other tiny flowers that grow when the snow has just barely melted, and create little spots of colour in grass that otherwise is still mostly grey, not green. They build islands of happiness in a dismal environment.

I’m feeling poetic right now because today I have already spent an hour on potions and then an hour on Arithmancy and my brain is loaded with dry numbers and meticulous instructions. I need a creative contrast, and we’ve got three hours until dinner. I’m already getting hungry from all the learning, but there’s still a pile of chocolates in the boys’ dormitory that I technically have access to. I just don’t feel like… interrupting something. I’m sure you can follow. Hopefully those to rabbits (the description of puppies just doesn’t fit anymore, I don’t want to forever disturb my image of puppies, puppies are innocent and pure) are going to take their puppy (I’m using this word way too often) for a walk soon. Congratulations if you are able to read sentences like that without hesitating for a second.

OH AND ALSO.

Sorry. I never even told you about Head Girl duty! And Head Boy. Because some evenings, which in this case has to be read as ‘yesterday’, James and I are allowed to pretend that we’re teachers, patrol around the corridors and watch out that no student is out of bed. I mean, prefects patrol, too (I should know it, I used to be one), but it’s not half as fancy when everyone is allowed to be up and about. It’s actually pretty annoying, to be honest, because you constantly trip over some first years. But when you’re alone in the hallways… Not alone, alone would be creepy. When you and your boyfriend are alone in the hallways… Now that doesn’t sound like I wanted it to! You dirty minded people. The job has gotten a lot easier since I discovered the Marauder’s map and we’re now able to use it. Of course we’re totally objective and don’t spare out Gryffindors while giving detention to Slytherins. We’re far above childish things like that. Most of the time.

Guys, our favourite couple is back. Merlin. They didn’t even try to look less dishevelled. That T-shirt Remus is wearing totally belongs to Sirius, it’s too big on him. Objectively, I don’t mind Sirius wearing Remus’ shirt though. It accentuates his muscles nicely. Maybe I can convince James to charm his shirts a size smaller as well. The two newly-puppy-parents look so cute I just want to shrink them, put them in a jar and carry them around with me all day.

Sirius just read that and hit me with a pillow.

I hit him back.

Remus and James are laughing.

Oh, we’re taking Lumos for a walk now. Isn’t that a fantastic name for our little puppy? Isn’t that a fantastic name that we’ve come up with all together? He lights up our lives. What is your light in life, my dear future people? Or don’t you need it anymore because your entire life shines brightly?

_There’s a picture of Sirius and James running, along with a small black puppy that’s jumping up and down excitedly. The sky above them is cloudy, and in the background, you can see the Forbidden Forest’s trees towering over them._

_Another photograph shows Remus lying on the ground with Lumos on his torso. He’s grinning from ear to ear, but that grin quickly turns into a frown when the puppy licks his face. The camera then starts shaking – and the sequence starts again._

…and guess what we’re doing now?

You probably guessed something fun because every entry in this album is either about pretty horrible or pretty fun stuff. Well, you guessed wrong, because we’re doing homework. And this is where I leave you for today. I’ll be back when something fun happens. Exams approaching… but also Easter holidays.


	17. 19th of March

Sunday, 19th of March 1978

Guess who’s on holidays? Us! (I hope you’re, too. What will holidays be like in the future?)

These are our last holidays at Hogwarts. The next time we have a ‘last day of school’, it won’t be simply before a break. It will be before our entire world spirals and gets newly swirled up with entirely new perspectives and possibilities. I haven’t decided yet whether I think that is terrible or terrific. It is probably both, in all the good and bad and mixed ways one can possibly imagine.

To be honest, most of my free time until now has been spent studying and going for walks, sometimes with the others, sometimes just with James, sometimes alone. I’m going to miss these grounds a hell of a lot. I’m going to miss everything. I might even miss Professor Slughorn at some point, but that’ll be the point at that I’ll admit myself to a mental hospital. There’s no way I’m missing a slimy potions teacher who has never moved a single finger in his life because for a reason that is not at all clear to me, he has a lot of rich people with massive influence on the wizarding world wrapped around his finger.

But why am I talking about that kind of school? I don’t want to write much because I have just finished a transfiguration essay and my fingers are still cramped. This is torture.

So, I might be purely writing this because I have some exclusive information for you. Well, not that exclusive, or else I wouldn’t be able to put it in here. But do you know what’s in a week? Apart from Easter. Yes, Easter is awesome, and yes, I have been eating at least one brightly coloured egg every day since the house elves restarted making them, but there’s something (someone) who I’d willingly give up all coloured eggs in the world for, no matter how much I love those. I would even give up chocolate eggs as well, and right here we are getting to the real sacrifices. I am not sure my boyfriend is really worth giving up chocolate.

The good thing is that I don’t need to. James’ birthday and Easter just happen to coincide, which is great because we’ll make him search the Hogwarts grounds for his presents. And those grounds, if you’ve never been (poor you) are huge. Sadly, he’s smart, and with the right charm, he’ll find them fairly easily. Maybe I’ll steal his wand before?

James, look forward to searching every square inch of grass and such that surrounds the castle.

Baaaack to Easter. And chocolate. Because I am pretty damn hungry right now. I’ve been begging James to get me some chocolate for half an hour now (until whatever year in the future you guys are in, has there been invented something like calorie-free chocolate or ice cream? Or something to stop cravings during that week? I have no self-control) but he just won’t, he’s so wrapped up in his Quidditch strategy. So what if there’ll be a game right after the holidays? I don’t effing care right now!

Oops, I’m sorry. I’d better leave it at this, I guess?

_Update, half an hour later:_

Remus has gotten me some chocolate, claiming he has a faint idea of what I am currently going through. Merlin bless this boy. Sirius, you’re one lucky guy. Seriously.


	18. 26th of March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'might not sure yet whether I will have Internet during the next week as I am on vacation! I'll try to post somewhat regularly though.

Sunday, 26th of March 1978

Easter! Easter! Everyone clap your hands it’s Easter!

Seriously I don’t even know why I get as excited about holidays as I’m not even really religious, at least in the bible kind of way. (I’m happy for anyone who manages to believe in that, but I will certainly not live my life after something someone wrote 2000 years ago, they might have been drunk back then or maybe they just wanted to prank someone. I’m ranting, sorry.) No, but really. Easter is all fun and games, but we mustn’t forget the story behind it. I’m totally amazed at how uninformed the wizarding community is about where holidays actually emerge from. I’ve done some research after I asked a totally clueless James, and as it turns out, Hogwarts holidays were totally different until they started accepting muggle borns three hundred years ago, and the random headmaster back then simply decided that it was unfair to the siblings if they never had the same holidays as well. Then, more and more kids started to actually bring in the traditions. Some traditions at least; while the religious part is mostly lost on wizards, they are really keen on Easter eggs.

Huh.

I guess you learn something new every day.

But enough history talk and political correctness, I’m glad we do celebrate Easter nowadays and we have a Headmaster as amazing as Dumbledore. (It was a close call.) Because what has he obviously done?

Charmed Easter eggs to hide everywhere in the grounds, the castle, everywhere. At breakfast, for which we had carrot cake, hard-boiled colourful eggs and sweet bread plait, he claimed that there’ll be chocolate eggs everywhere, more than enough for every students, until midnight. And it is Sunday during holidays, which leaves us a lot of time to roam around everywhere on this beautiful sunny day and eat chocolate. The statement above was followed by the request not to eat so much chocolate that Mme Pomfrey will get angry. Certainly not – we have our own spells against nausea.

So far, I have found four eggs of a fairly decent size, one filled with mint, one with some hazelnut cream and two with caramel. Those are heaven. It is now 11 am. We’ll stay up until midnight to celebrate James’ birthday right away. I see a lot more a chocolate coming and I am excited.

At this point, and it is now noon, James, Sirius and Marlene are laughing about me and Remus because apparently we are “ridiculous” and “skipping around like small children”? How dare they. They don’t understand what it is like to celebrate Easter every year. Childhood memories! They are such muggle culture philistines. Also, James is almost skipping as well when someone mentions his birthday.

_There is a picture of Lily lying in the grass, proudly holding up a handful of brightly coloured chocolate eggs with a smug grin on her face. Her tie is not as tidy as usual and there are grass stains on her white shirts from all the running around outside. Her hair hands loose._

_Another picture shows Lily and Remus jumping around a very fed up looking Sirius. It probably is James who takes the picture, laughing his head off judging by just how much the camera is shaking. They are also throwing Easter eggs at him. Seriously why does he look that grumpy? He basically gets chocolate thrown at him by some of his very favourite people in the world!_

It is by now three pm and we have decided to settle down like the very mature seventh year students we are. Also we need some rest if we might pull a potential all-nighter. Out of fear that this book will get grass stains I am writing on my very lovely boyfriend’s back, who I will kill if he moves an inch only. No pressure though, Jamie. You don’t want to die before you turn eighteen, do you? Then better watch out so none of this will be smudged in the end. Anyways, we’re all spread out on the grass near the black lake and the sun is shining and kids are running around and I think that this is awesome. Also, we’re working on a spontaneous prank right now (seriously, studying is so bad for creativity) that features a giant bunny illusion either jumping out of the lake (James and Sirius are very much in favour of that one) or falling down from the sky (they’re outvoted by Marlene, Remus and me). It’ll also be a cute bunny, curtesy to Marlene, Sirius and me. James and Remus were going for a more frightening type of bunny, although I can’t figure out why. No, thank you. Now we just need to determine someone who is not too lazy to do the charms work. I have a feeling that this will be a cooperation of me and James in the end because he is excited and he somehow always manages to drag me along. Stupid me. Stupid boyfriend.

_There is a picture of an Easter bunny about the size of Hagrid’s hut hopping around in the grounds. It is white-brown brindled with a pink nose and fur that looks incredibly soft. Students are running with it, laughing as it sometimes randomly puts one or two or a few of them in a basket._

_James and Lily are fist bumping in front of it in the next picture, and the next second she throws a chocolate egg at him before eating one herself and grinning. He rolls his eyes at her. At least the sun isn’t moving in this picture that you need to look at seven times before getting the hang of how much is really in there. It is the only thing._

Didn’t we do a fantastic job? Professor MyGonagall actually strutted out of the castle to check what was causing such a frenzy and all she commented was ‘good job, Mr. Potter, Miss Evans’ before heading back inside, shaking her head. James is still star-struck with how he managed to impress “Minnie”. Sirius is almost upset with how he might not stay her favourite, but I personally think that’s actually impossible. I still don’t know how he managed to get her to wear that on Remus’ birthday! He’ll never tell us.

We’re in the Great Hall for dinner now, as it is 7 pm. James is getting more excited by the minute (you can actually watch his eyes brighten up more and more). Easter eggs are flying around, and two have hit me already so far. I’m just trying to write!

_There’s a picture of a really grumpy looking Lily. James has slung his arm around her shoulder. He is laughing. From her other side, Marlene is holding a hand up behind her head, two of fingers forming bunny ears. In the background, you can see the other house tables packed with cheerful students and some Easter eggs flying around. The entire table is littered with brightly coloured eggs as well._

Wizards tend to go overboard, don’t they? It’s definitely great fun.

It is nine pm now. The common room is full of hyperactive students.

Ten pm. The younger students are now slowly going to bed. James has been sent upstairs. We need to prepare a bit here. Sirius has vanished yet again. They’re not getting as much food this time – the focus lies rather on the fire whiskey and the butter beer tonight. Enough is enough.

Eleven pm. Only one hour left until the 27th of March, until James’ 18th birthday. I feel like it’s time to enlighten you about our choice of present. Because the thing his, James is by far the richest of us all. He’s inherited his parents’ money. Apart from us not being able to afford anything expensive, he wouldn’t even want that kind of present from us.

We got Remus Lumos.

He got me a trip to America.

What the hell were we supposed to get him? What the hell was I supposed to get him? So we kind of went for a basket full of things, and everyone has just thrown in whatever they thought he would appreciate. I won’t tell you anything yet, but it ranges from the smallest, stupidest things to actually well thought-through gifts.

11:55 pm. We’re lighting up the candles on the Quaffle-shaped cake.

11:58 pm. Now, I’m going to get James.


	19. 27th of March

Monday, 27th of March

_There’s a photograph of James blowing out his candles in a dramatic gesture – and they keep relighting themselves. Those candles are prank candles. Everyone around him is in movement, cheering, clapping, jumping._

_A second photo shows James on everyone’s hands, floating through the common room. He’s grinning like a madman and waving around a Gryffindor scarf and a big sign that says “18 years of Marauding”. The people carrying him are jumping in unison. (It is to a beat that the camera obviously can’t hear.)_

_James is drinking out of a bottle of fire whiskey and a pint of butter beer simultaneously. (Later, he will claim this picture as his legacy because who even manages to do that aside from the one, the only, the great James Potter? Such a dedication to alcohol!)_

_Another picture shows James in the middle of his friends. His left arm is wrapped around Lily, his right arm around Sirius. All of their cheeks are a few shades darker than their skin, and they are grinning from ear to ear. By then, James is wearing a crown. In the background, you can see that the common room is starting to get emptier. (It is three in the morning.)_

_A fourth and last image shows James passed out (well, asleep, but you know that kind of asleep where you could just as well be in an alcohol-induced coma? That kind of asleep) on the floor in the common room. Glitter and tinsel are everywhere around him, confetti splashed around like little artsy dots. There’s an empty bottle of fire whiskey next to him that has fallen over. His glasses are beside him. Someone has drawn antlers on his face._

What I forgot to tell you when I told you about the presents we got for James is that we weren’t going to give them to him in the middle of the night. From last night, you’ve got a few pictures above that I hope you enjoy. That party was amazing. Seriously,  think in some history books later we’ll be mentioned as the ones who threw the greatest parties. History can’t only consist of wars! That will make people start them again, just for the sake of greatness.

Throw legendary parties instead, is what I say. Prank the heck out of boring days. Charm some smiles onto peoples’ faces.

Make your boyfriend/(best)friend look for his parents in the garden, having charmed them all to look exactly alike: Like wooden stags about the size of a rat. Oh, and because you are nice, colour them brightly. And make him do it on the day he has the biggest hangover of his entire life so far.

_There’s a picture of an army of wooden stags in a lot of different shades of grey on grass which is a different shade of grey with the lake behind it which matches some of the stags shades of grey. The picture coloured would be really beautiful. Like this, it is just arty and kind of depressed looking because everything is grey instead of freaking shining in every single colour of the rainbow. The stags do look kind of cute though. Depressed cute little stags._

He’s started five minutes ago and he’s so mad at us. (There is eighteen stags because we got him eighteen presents for his eighteenth birthday. He has found zero so far, but if he’d take his sunglasses of, he’d spot the blue one not even ten feet away from him already within a minute.)

Fifteen minutes have passed. Good thing we have some snacks because this might take us the entire afternoon. Have I mentioned that of course we slept until two pm? Really good thing we have snacks. Honestly my lifestyle is so unhealthy right now. Oh man who cares there’s a freaking war going on.

Twenty minutes and he’s found the first stag! Amazing! It’s a yellow one!

_There’s a picture of James proudly holding a stag in front of his face. (His hair is an utter mess and so are his eyes but his grin says happiness.)_

The transfiguration process has shown… It is one of the less serious presents. From Sirius, though, haha. It is a bag of Zonko’s dung bombs.

_There is a picture of James holding up two more stags._

I still have no clue how he suddenly managed to find two at once, but oh well. One of those was my main present. Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve made him a photo album. Not like this one, just random shots of him playing Quidditch or studying or doing anything basically where he wouldn’t notice me taking pictures of him, and then… adding something to his face. Antlers, or drawings, or a hat… I’ve just had a bit of fun with it after I’d learned about the magical manipulation of photographs in a charms book I found in the library. He loves it. He also loves the box of levitating sherbet balls that we got him. And no, I won’t give you a picture of everything. I think I might just make a list of everything he got later. Laziness and everything.

  1. Photo album
  2. Levitating Sherbet Balls
  3. Zonkos’ Dung Bombs
  4. A Quidditch shirt of his favourite player that I have not much of an idea of help
  5. A Quidditch shirt of that same team with his name on it
  6. A broomstick kit
  7. Zonko’s firework
  8. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans
  9. Peppermint frogs
  10. Chocolate frogs
  11. An inflatable punching bag
  12. An… artistically decorated frame (for photos of me, Sirius says)
  13. A massive Gryffindor scarf
  14. A T-shirt that says ‘Once a Marauder always a Marauder’
  15. A box of condoms (that wasn’t me. They are freaking flavoured.)
  16. A T-shirt that says ‘Sirius Black is my #1’
  17. A T-shirt that says ‘Lily Evans is my #1’ (those two were a personal battle between Sirius and me)
  18. A tape recorder



And #18 on the list comes with an obligatory explanation. Because, see, a tape recorder. That’s like a freaking novelty in the muggle world, and the puzzled looked on James’ face – oh, wait.

_There’s a picture of James holding a tape recorder and the expression on his face is beyond hilarious. His eyebrows almost vanish in his hairline as his eyes scream for help in utter confusion and desperation. What is this, every cell of his body screams. By Merlin. It is a nice tape recorder._

Remus and I laughed for about ten minutes before we got around to explaining that thing to the others. I suppose you future people know what it is? I suppose it has long been outdated by some other fabulous inventions that don’t require actual upper arm strength just to listen to music? Perfect!

It is now eight pm and we are dead on our feet. We’ve just had dinner and are now in the boys’ dormitory, just casually chilling – oh, who am I even kidding, everyone is on the verge of falling asleep. We’re so lame.

Goodnight, future people! Let’s wish for many more great days to come.

**Actual James Potter quote of the day: It was fucking Easter yesterday I don’t want to look for a herd of minime’s that could be everywhere on those huge grounds are you kidding me who by Merlin thought of this shit? What did I do to deserve friends like this? Why do you torture me like that?**

(aka actual proof that James Potter is the biggest drama queen of us all.)


	20. 1st of April

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I am back from my vacation, during which I had less Internet access than expected... I'm thus kind of late with the chapters, but hey, you're getting them!  
> (while I get to spend my days in a school that sucks all creativity out of me again. oh well)  
>  Enjoy!

Saturday, 1st of April 1978

I’ve got quite some big news for you today. James and I broke up because he’s been cheating on me. With Sirius. Apparently, there’ve been orgies going on with all three of them even…

April fools!

Okay, I wanted to invent a long story and add all sorts of details there, but I had a fit of laughing so hard that James had to repeatedly hit me in the back because I was choking. I just couldn’t. Take my advice and don’t imagine that if you’re fond of your mental sanity. I need brain bleach.

So, today is the first of April and the Marauder’s would totally lose their reputation if they hadn’t planned something spectacular. Of course that is out of question. Right now we’re at the breakfast table, and while outside is a grey day, the ceiling today shows something different. Of course the pranks that we’ve thought of are all good-natured; people will run outside, expecting snow because that’s what they see when they look up to the ceiling at breakfast and through the windows of the Great Hall. There, they will be met with grey skies, green grass on the ground and a large sign that says ‘APRIL FOOLS’ in big bright letters.

_There’s a picture of said sign. James and Sirius are next to it, James on the left and Sirius on the right side, grinning and holding up their thumbs. The letters are moving on the sign._

Well, that was fun! Not so much fun though was that someone apparently took the Marauders’ prankster reputation as a challenge. I’d bet a thousand galleons that the Slytherins are behind what happened.

Trick steps in Hogwarts’ staircases are normal, right? After a while, you get used to them and don’t fall in anymore, and if you do, you have to wait for someone to pull you out, but you’ll be completely fine. Ten minutes ago, a second-year from Hufflepuff was brought to Mme Pomfrey because he broke his freaking leg in one of the hundreds of new trick steps that appeared overnight. Dumbledore stepped in then, furious. Of course the culprit has not been found (wizards are incredibly stupid when it gets to crime solving), but the smug grin on Snape’s face was unmistakable.

The doubt really was gone as soon James and I were attacked. Just us. Specifically. That’s not even an april fools anymore, and not a harmless prank either. Someone *cough* Snape *cough* hexed Bludgers, freaking Bluders, to follow and hit us all morning while we were patrolling. After we’d both already been almost knocked out at least three times each, we got Sirius for help and he fetched his bat. He’s a talented beater, and managed to keep them off us until we found a way to take the hex off. No, a simple finite incantatem did not work.

But now it’s our turn again! We’re at lunch (I just always sit down to eat and I sit down to write, so I like to combine those, alright? I didn’t have time earlier) and the food has not appeared yet because Dumbledore is holding a serious speech about the staircase incident. But as soon as it appears – nothing will happen.

As soon as people take their first bite of whatever food they’ve chosen, though, something will happen. Because every single food item on those tables will taste like sweet woodruff Jell-O. Yep. Even the meat and stuff. Too bad for those that don’t like sweet woodruff Jell-O.

Oh, first surprised looks are happening. People are furrowing their eyebrows, some are obviously having some trouble chewing (poor ones) and some, especially younger ones, look downright happy. Dumbledore is very amused. Even Professor McGonagall can’t hide a smile. I sWEAR DID SHE JUST ROLL HER EYES?!

By Merlin, I’m sorry. James grabbed the book from me to eternalize that epic moment himself. I was helpless. I still need to tell you about what we’ve planned for this afternoon, though!

Snape’s face is epic as well. I can see how hard he’s trying not to like his food, but oh my friend (not), the disgust is fake. Because I know how much Severus Snape loves sweet woodruff Jell-O. He used to always eat it, until he decided it wasn’t cool anymore. Weird, as it is green. Shouldn’t he like it? Shouldn’t he worship it, hang paintings of it on his bedroom wall, wash his hair with it? Wait, I think he already does that last thing. It would explain their slimy look.

Anyways. Our biggest pranks of the day are already over. This afternoon though, a message will pop up in all four common rooms, a false alarm that will order all students to leave their common rooms immediately (in Remus’ best imitation of Dumbledore’s voice. That boy is surprisingly good at that.) When everyone is outside, they’ll find similar signs to the one in front of the entrance door this morning, but the best thing is that we’ve informed all the keepers of the common rooms to not let  them back in, and given them some supplies that will make the entire ordeal a great deal funnier. Just a hint: Every time a Gryffindor guesses the new password wrong (it is ‘MARAUDERS RUN THE WORLD’, so I believe that will happen quite a few times), that person will be covered in a slimy green liquid (don’t worry, it’s nothing bad) and… confetti. Who do we blame?

Of course you’re right. We blame Sirius. When in doubt, always blame Sirius. You’re going to be right in ninety-seven percent of all cases.

_There is a picture of several Gryffindors outside the common room covered in slime and confetti from head to toe, and their laughing classmates. The fat lady in the background seems highly satisfied with herself. The Marauders, obviously not hiding at all who is behind the prank, and therefore already quite covered in suspicious stuff themselves, are laughing._

This is what they call sweet success.

It’s ten pm, and we’re about to call it a day (lame, I know, but I’m so tired.) James has vanished somewhere, muttering something about having forgotten about something and he looked highly distressed so no questions were asked. I’ll inform you about it tomorrow, well, at least I’ll tell you anything I can find out. Doesn’t matter to you when I write down information anyways, does it? I could do it in five years and you wouldn’t know, at least not on first glance.

It definitely was an April Fools Day to remember, although I wonder why nothing happened from the Slytherins’ side (let’s be honest, Snape’s side) all afternoon. Now that I think about it, I haven’t even seen him since, like, lunch? Weird.

But right before going to bed is not the best time to think about Snape anyway, or else I might have nightmares.


	21. 2nd of April

Sunday, 2nd of April 1978

Okay, so this is about yesterday, but I didn’t find out until now. It answers all of yesterday’s questions in one, still incomprehensible sentence.

**James almost got Snape killed and then saved him.**

The almost killing part was an accident, ergo his distress yesterday evening. He did try to hurt him though. And I can’t figure out whether I’m mad at him or not. His intentions were good – Snape tried to hurt us, too. The way he realized his intentions was… not good.

It’s a given fact that Snape’s hatred for him has multiplied by about a million. And this is how it happened.

So James, naturally, was mad after the Bludger thing happened. Understandable. I was fuming, too. But James, unlike me, decided to do something about it. So he spoke to Snape. And told him that the secret he’s been chasing for so long, _Remus’ secret_ , was hidden in the Shrieking Shack. It was not full moon yesterday, luckily not, if it had been, Snape would’ve been dead for sure, and although I hate him, hate him with roaring passion and all my heart and soul, I kind of don’t want him dead. He did incredibly horrible things, but he was also, for long years, the only person who didn’t call me a freak. James told Snape that he just needed to get past the Whomping Willow to get into the Shrieking Shack, where all secrets were hidden. He did, though, not tell him the correct way how to, and did not tell him that this information was valuable on full moons only.

(It still amazes me that he didn’t know before, with Pettigrew being a traitor and a death eater and all. Maybe he has some Marauder pride after all, just a tiny bit of it?)

The Whomping Willow almost sliced his head off after it had already given him cuts and scratches all over. James, when he went looking for him, found him bleeding and half-dead, and rushed him up to the Hospital wing.

This is horrible already, but it could’ve gone so much worse. What if yesterday had been a full moon? What if Remus, not himself of course, but the beast that coexists in his body, makes him suffer, had bitten him? Killed him? Turned him?

James has a temper, and sometimes does bad things, which you can impossibly deny. He gave Snape insufficient information with the intention of hurting him, although never as badly as he finally did. (He claims that, and I believe him. You haven’t see the whiteness of his face, the look of terror in his eyes, the untypical deep shadows under his eyes the next morning, the regret. You haven’t seen him, but what I saw makes me believe him, and it makes me keep my faith in him. He’s stupid at times, yes, but he’d never intentionally hurt someone he loves. He’d never hurt me.) But Snape himself is thoroughly evil, and when he wants to hurt someone, he will, no matter the person, despite logic and reason and honour. He has no qualms. So who is the real victim here?

Sometimes there is no black and white in questions of fault and innocence, sometimes there’s only infinite grey to get lost in.


	22. 4th of April

Tuesday, 4th of April 1978

Guess what also happened three days ago!

(A hint: It has nothing to do with April fools and it didn’t happen at Hogwarts.)

(A second hint because I’m not sure you’ll be able to guess: It happened at the Burrow!)

Okay, I’ll just tell you. Molly Weasley (the one who was years and years above us, and already has two incredibly cute small children with her husband and Hogwarts-sweetheart Arthur Weasley) gave birth to twins! They’re named Fred and George Weasley. I assume they have red hair. And with twins being born on April fools, the world might have something to expect…

Unfortunately I don’t have a photo of them yet, they were only born three days ago after all (Molly wrote me a letter), but I’ll make sure to glue it in here as soon as I can get my hands on one. I bet they’re really cute. Molly said they were really cute, but also exhausted her within the first two hours of being alive, which, knowing Molly as the most patient person in the world, is not something everyone would manage.

So happy literal day of birth, Fred and George Weasley!

(James and Sirius are sitting next to me and currently adding a modification to the Marauder’s map that will allow subsequent Marauders to read the map, and tell them the right spells just once, just if their intentions are (not) good. Just in case something happens. They’ve made plans to let Filch confiscate it on the last day of school so that it will stay at Hogwarts. They don’t need it in a war, and whenever they come to Hogwarts, they can get it back. In my opinion, it is a good plan. A sad, but good plan.)

Sadly, I can’t write anything more right now, because I have a potions essay to do. Ugh. That slimy Slughorn.

 

Edit:

Okay, it is quite a while later now (it is May, the 22nd of May to be exact), but I got hold of a photograph of the Weasley twins and I need to put it in here because it literally leaves you speechless. And not only because they are really tiny, little, cute, identical human beings with some hints of red hair on their heads already and really, really big eyes. Maybe a little because of that, but not entirely. Oh, I’ll just give the picture to you.

_As promised, there is a picture, showing the baby Weasley twins, lying side by side on what looks like a carpet, wearing matching dotted bodies. They are widely grinning into the camera with their toothless mouths. And then, when you least expect anything to happen, because those are babies, they’re one month old, and they’re lying on their mom’s carpet, joyfully wiggling their legs – they both stick their tongues out. Simultaneously._


	23. 11th of April

Tuesday, 11th of April 1978

My hand is shaking so much I can barely write from how hard I’m laughing, so kindly excuse if this isn’t as proper as normally.

Hello, future people!

I’m currently in the Hospital Wing, on that goddamned chair that I’ve already spent way too much time on this schoolyear, but today, I’m laughing. This is awesome. Also, I’d normally be having Charms right now (It is nine in the morning) but Professor Flitwick says I mastered the charm anyways and should just go watch over my boyfriend.

James is lying in the bed, murdering me with his eyes. He’s got nothing bad, just a slight concussion. The funny story is how he got it.

I’ll tell you the official version first.

This morning, James somehow managed to get into the girls’ dormitory to wake me up with a prank, and because I was tired and didn’t know who he was (quite on edge thus) I threw a book at him, thus giving him the laceration on his forehead and the slight concussion he suffers from. They had to pick him up from the dormitory, therefore the part with him sneaking into my dormitory.

I know that this doesn’t exactly sound like an official version, but hey, none of the teachers would’ve believed a story that didn’t in some way go against the rules. So we invented that one, which kind of goes against the rules, but I’m honestly not really to blame, and James has already been punished enough. Credit goes, admittedly, mostly to Sirius, not me. Those guys just have more experience in making up believable lies.

The true version is:

This morning, James and I woke up together in my bed because he slept over (not going to elaborate there, you wish), and when the alarm went off, he was startled and fell out of bed, hitting his head. I barely managed to put his clothes on before the help arrived. Suppressing my laughter long enough to make the story of me being at fault believable was not easy, let me tell you that.

_There’s a picture of James in the white sheets of the Hospital Wing bed with a very grim expression. There is a white bandage tied around his forehead and his hair is all ruffled, even less tidy than normally, while is eyes are basically screaming betrayal. He’s also squinting, but that’s just because he’s not wearing glasses._

So now we’re in the Hospital Wing, _yet again,_ but at least nobody is in mortal danger today! Why do we have to be so happy about that? Isn’t it weird that some days, you spend devastated because your hair isn’t falling the right way, or you’ve got a spot on your face, or your body just isn’t the way you want it to be, you feel like _you_ aren’t the way you think you’re supposed to be? And then other days, you’re just glad you’re alive, and the daily struggle becomes minor, small. I’m not saying the struggles aren’t real. I’m not saying holes can’t suck you in, darkness can’t envelope you, crush you. I’m not saying that you aren’t allowed to reach out for help, aren’t allowed to feel hurt, or angry, or sad, to cry and scream, just because you might not live in a time of war. Everyone has different struggles. And ours? At least they’re not only our own. At least we have people to share your feelings who are living the same, or similar things. But there’s the constant worry, worry about friends, about family, about our world, about our future. I’m not saying any pain is greater than the other, great here being used in a negative way. I’m saying that when you almost die, your perspective changes.

When every day could be your last, you don’t care whether that girl or boy likes you or not, that person who isn’t even really important to you. You don’t care whether you have a slice of cake more that might not be necessary, and you don’t care if the cake is so delicious you have three. You don’t care what your hair looks like.

You start caring about moments, about love, about friendship, about magic (in literal and not literal ways). You start caring about souls and true happiness and smiles.

That’s what we care about now. We don’t care about what others think.

I don’t know when this has turned into such a deep message, but… just in case we die. Remember this. Your life is important and precious, and it matters in the grand scheme of things, but then again it also doesn’t, because in the grand scheme, what matters aren’t your looks, or your money, what matters is your happiness and how much you made others happy.

Nobody cares if you sometimes fuck up, and it might seem like nobody cares at all, but that’s not right. People care about you as an amazing human being. People care. Remember. And then fuck up, because it relieves tension. Fuck up in small things, be irresponsible sometimes, let go. Just let go. Give yourself freedom, take some pressure off.

And then focus. Because there are so many amazing things in life to focus on.

Just in case we die, and can’t tell you this personally. Living in a war makes you age twice as fast as you should. Keep every bit of the child that’s still inside you, and guard it as your biggest treasure.

I’ll leave you with this for today. I’m not laughing anymore by now, but I’m smiling, and James is smiling at me, the grim look is no longer on his face as the pain medication has started working. It’s making him drowsy.

_There’s a picture of James, sleeping, a soft look on his face, almost a smile but not quite. There’s peace in his face._

See that man-boy-child?


	24. 16th of April

Sunday, 16th of April 1978

It is Quidditch day!

Imagine what would have happened if James had been just a little more seriously injured on Tuesday? The entire community of not-Slytherins at Hogwarts would have hated me so much, I can’t even fathom. I would’ve probably be dead by now. Or at least paralyzed. Because this is not your regular Quidditch day.

Okay, I have to intervene here for a moment. I feel more and more like a commercial, the way I sound. I am advertising my school, myself, my boyfriend and his sports team… This seems so self-centred. But if you’re reading this… you’re probably interested in us. Why ever that would be. I still hope though that we won’t be dead, reading this ourselves and laughing until we die from laughter.

Back to the original topic. Today is the biggest match of the year. The entire student body of Hogwarts has been looking forward to it all year. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. The match of all matches. (I’m doing it on purpose now, because it is fun. We’re also, by the way, having lunch right now – although James has run off already with the team, after making sure they’d all eaten just the right amount to be in the best possible shape for his last big match – and the spirit is getting to me.)

The entire school is excited to a level that is almost unreal. Just for your information, Gryffindor has won the House Cup ever since our second year, and right now we’re in the lead, but Slytherin is close still, so this match is important. We want to win. It is our last year. It is the last Quidditch match. It is the last time we can kick Slytherin’s ass _with permission._ By Merlin, this is making me sentimental. Why is Hogwarts over already? I don’t want to leave. We only have two and a half months left. Where has time gone?

_There’s a picture of the heavily decorated Great Hall that is buzzing. Not a thing stands still in the photograph, even the teachers and ghosts are gesturing wildly and talking animatedly. There’s even one young Gryffindor student who has climbed on the table. Nobody seems to care. Professor McGonagall is wearing her Gryffindor-head._

I put the album away not to annoy you.

We’re at the Quidditch pitch now! It’s officially five minutes until the game starts. The weather is alright, neither cold nor warm, kind of changing between sunny and cloudy all the time. Remus is looking over my shoulder and just added, quoting Sirius or something because his voice went all weird, that it is not too windy either, so the conditions are rather good. Remus and I are lonely here in the stands. All of our friends play Quidditch. James, Sirius, Marlene… You name it. Lots of sporty people. And here we are, cheering them on.

While I have been writing this, three minutes have passed and the teams are now on the pitch! (Remus and I agree that our respective boyfriends look really hot in their Quidditch uniforms. Those are definitely more flattering than normal school uniforms.) The captains (aka James and the Slytherin captain) are shaking hands. And now the whistle is blowing, and the players are rising from the ground. It has started!

I’m not going to write down everything that happens because I need to cheer. I’ll tell you the results!

 

WE WON! GRYFFINDOR HAS WON THE MATCH! GRYFFINDOR HAS WON THE QUIDDITCH CUP! It lasted thirty-seven minutes, and then the snitch was caught and James has scored eight goals and the epic chaser-team that Sirius and Marlene are has almost knocked a Slytherin of his room three times. One time the sixth-year (who _was_ stretching the rules) only held onto his broom by one hand. After that, he was intimidated enough to play fair.

WE WON! THERE’S A PARTY GOING ON IN THE COMMON ROOM I NEED TO GO! But I’ll give you some pictures, of course. Right now it’s party time! (Yes, we are ignoring that it is a Sunday. We’ve got fire whiskey, and we’ve got the right spells to cure hangovers, which is a good combination.)

 

_There’s a blurry picture of a Gryffindor Quidditch team group hug in the middle of the air, and the camera is shaking, but the score board is visible, and there it is: 270 to 60 for Gryffindor, the clear and fair victory, captured forever._

_A second picture shows James, as the captain, being carried by his team, lifted high above their heads with their hands, as they’re marching off the Quidditch pitch in victory. James is grinning widely, clutching the Quidditch cup in his hand and holding it up in the air for everyone to see. The crowd is cheering. There is not a Slytherin in sight._

_There is a picture of the heavily decorated common room, filled with snacks and drinks and lights and dancing people. The Quidditch cup is floating in the middle of the room, on display in its sheer glory. Lily and James are kissing underneath it, dancing, then kissing, laughing, happy. Everyone around them is dancing, too, cheering, hands are up in the air, movements frantic in happiness._

_There is a picture of people dancing, more sloppily now as the alcohol levels rise, and the younger students have gone to bed, so by now there’s only sixth- and seventh-years left with the occasional fifth-year between them. The air is still buzzing. Remus and Sirius are the centre of the picture, practically jumping instead of dancing (although one does wonder where they get all that energy from), bumping into each other._

_There’s a picture of an empty common room the next morning, in a different light, not quite daylight yet, but almost. It hasn’t been cleaned up yet. (It is four in the morning. The house elves haven’t been there yet. But don’t worry – the students have already slept, after deciding to go to bed when people were falling asleep right on the common room floor. Lily has gotten up at four (a bladder is something annoying) and captured the moment, the morning after the party. Gryffindor has won! They have won! Every victory is needed in times like these._


	25. 25th of April

Tuesday, 25th of April 1978

Hello future people! Nothing is happening here. Ever since the Quidditch match over a week ago, everything has been calm around here. To be honest, we were busy studying, as were most of the other students. But I figured that nine days is already a long time of not writing anything in here, so I thought I’d oblige everyone to take some photos and put them in here. So, this is what I’ve got for you today.

_The first picture of a two-page-long series is of (naturally, because Lily is the one in charge of the album after all) James, in front of the castle. It is a windy day, but for his hair, windy or not windy doesn’t make much of a difference anyways. The sun is shining, though. Hogwarts in the background looks as majestic as ever, rising high up above him. The big wooden entrance door is wide open. James has his arms spread widely._

Welcome to Hogwarts, is all I can say.

_The second picture has no people in it – at least not if you’re not informed. Someone looking at the photo might comment what a wonderful shot it is, and how lucky that photographer was, instead of realizing that Remus, who took the photo, didn’t wait patiently at the Great Lake until a stag and a massive dog happened to walk by, next to each other, peacefully. But quiet, no one has to know. (James and Sirius had their fun while taking the picture, that for sure. The sun is still shining brightly, and the wind is still blowing. No other students are in sight.)_

Oh, just your typical picture of two best friends.

_The third picture clearly states priorities. It shows heaps of empty chocolate wrappers, scattered all over a few textbooks. It was that time of the month, okay? For both Lily and Remus, and the rest kind of joined in out of sympathy. And they somehow had to keep their energy and endorphin levels high enough to study._

Forgive us, for we have sinned.

_The fourth picture is proof that even chocolate can’t mend everything. Lily is asleep in it, in the common room, right next to the fireplace. She’s using a textbook (it is probably Transfiguration, judging by the size of it) as a pillow. Her hair is all over the place, and her quill is still in her hand. Her back is rising and falling softly as she breathes calmly in her sleep._

It was one in the morning.

_In the fifth picture, Marlene is pulling a face behind her Defence Against the Dark textbook, yawning and rolling her eyes at the same time. They’re in the common room yet again, and while younger students in the background are playing rounds of Wizarding Chess or Exploding Snap, the Marauders and fellow seventh year students are studying._

There’s nothing to say except for: NEWTs.

_The sixth picture has been taken outside again. Far away near the Great Lake, you can see indistinct figures (those are Marlene, Lily, Sirius and Remus) but what is most stunning about the photograph is the bird perspective it has been taken from. James took it, flying on his broom. In this picture, the sun is not shining, but the layer of clouds hiding it is only thin, and it’s not as windy as the other day. You can see a small part of the castle, the entire Great Lake, a big part of the Forbidden Forest, and even some green hills behind the gates of Hogwarts. It is a truly beautiful picture._

We might have discovered James’ hidden talent. Can you see us, gazing up to him from the ground?

_The seventh picture has been taken in Professor McGonagall’s classroom, and the eight in Professor Flitwick’s – both teachers obviously don’t know that they’re in a picture. Professor McGonagall’s eyebrows are furrowed lightly as she waves her wand hand, explaining a movement (not for the first time during that lesson). Professor Flitwick is waving his hands around excitedly as he, too, explains something._

Every time I look at those two pictures I laugh. Those teachers are both really one of a kind, and I will miss them so much.

_The ninth picture is food. Literally. It has been taken in the Great Hall, by Sirius, and is really just a shot of the Gryffindor table at dinner time. “To remember the great food when we’ll have to survive on our own pathetic cooking”, he said, and he was probably right. Nobody is as good a cook as the house elves are._

I will miss the house elves so much.

_The tenth picture is of Remus and Sirius, kissing in the sunset on the Astronomy tower. They’re huddled up close with one shared coat wrapped around both of them. Not even a tiny fairy, a piece of parchment, would find space between them. The orange light of the sun illuminates their silhouettes in front of dark black clouds with pink linings._

Beautiful, isn’t it?

_The eleventh, and final picture, is a group picture of all of them. From left to right, you can see: Marlene, Lily, James, Sirius and Remus, all with their arms around each other and grinning widely into the flashlight. The picture has been taken in the Gryffindor common room, right in front of a large Gryffindor banner with the lion on it. They’re all wearing their school uniforms, Gryffindor ties carefully put in the exact right position to just flaunt their house pride._

Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder.


	26. 3rd of May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's May and I've got some suspense coming for you:) Enjoy!

Wednesday, 3rd of May 1978

Regulus Black has shown up at Hogwarts today. First of all, don’t worry; he didn’t come here to harm any of us, or anyone else. We were outside, studying ( _read: procrastinating_ ) in the afternoon, after class. All five of us were there, just hanging around near enough the Forbidden Forest that annoyingly loud first years wouldn’t bother us while we were _studying._ We definitely didn’t expect Regulus freaking Black to stumble out of just that forest at five pm, in total distress. The first thing I noticed was how chased he looked. During all of his time at Hogwarts, quite probably all of his life, Regulus was someone who chased – people, ideologies, more people. Maybe that was why we let him approach, only drew our wands as a precaution. Instinctively, James and Remus stepped in front of Sirius, whose face looked as if it was made of stone. We let him approach because his face was too pale even for him, and his eyes had a hounded look to them, and his raised hands were holding no wand.

I’m not sure why we did it, but we let him approach, after everything he’d done. He’d exchanged his Hogwarts robes for darker ones (don’t ask me how black robes can get darker) during the months we hadn’t seen him, and he looked incredibly haggard. He was nothing but a shadow of his old self. (Kids, this is what happens when someone joins the Death Eaters.)

And when he started talking, I first didn’t recognize his voice. I almost turned around to check whether someone else had crept up on us with him as a distraction, but no, it was just him, and that scary zombie-voice belonged to him. Honestly? I’d always despised Regulus Black, but I wouldn’t have wished him this. His words are branded into my brain as if his voice was a hot iron.

“Help,” he coughed. “Please, I need your help.”

Nobody answered him, then. Remus gave him a death glare that I wouldn’t have believed him capable of, and James’ expression was hard as steel. Sirius’ face was blank. I didn’t know what to say. Marlene and I exchanged a glance. We were both speechless.

“Please,” he repeated. “I did something stupid.”

“You don’t say,” Sirius muttered then.

“Sirius,” Regulus breathed. “I’m so sorry, but I know that apologies won’t be enough and I don’t have any time left to make things better again, I just hope that one day, you’ll be able to at least forgive me a little bit. I realized how much of an idiot I’ve been, and how wrong the Dark Lord is. I can’t get out now. It’s too late.”

He didn’t let anyone answer this time, didn’t pause between hastily breathed out words. The hounded expression on his face intensified if anything.

He pulled his right sleeve up, and I couldn’t help breathing in sharply. Remus gasped, and Marlene too, but Sirius and James didn’t flinch at the Dark Mark that covered his forearm.

“So you did it,” Sirius said, his voice monotone.

“And I regret it!” Regulus quickly pulled the sleeve down again. He looked pained. He hadn’t even looked at it himself. My best guess was that it disgusted him too much.

He came a step closer. James lifted his wand-hand immediately. Regulus stopped, but he still leaned forward, his words urgent when he spoke again, his tone somewhere between actual speaking and a whisper. His head kept turning, his eyes kept darting around.

“Listen,” he started. “The Dark Lord has done something horrible. He’s not human anymore, that’s the only way I can describe it.”

“He never was,” Sirius interrupted dryly, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “You were just blinded by the power and the stupid pureblood ideal.”

“I know,” Regulus answered. He didn’t dare to meet his older brother’s eyes. He was still a coward, but we had to let him speak.

“What has he done?” I pressed on. James stepped closer to me when I spoke up, obviously wanting to protect me, but I could do that very well myself, thanks. This was important information, and if we were offered information that might help us win this war, we had to accept it, no matter by whom it was delivered.

“He split his soul,” Regulus announced, and for a moment I wanted to laugh. It was too absurd. You can’t split your soul, I thought. That’s not possible. Wizards can do a lot, but this goes too far. (From my friend’s faces, I could tell that their reactions were about the same.)

“I can’t tell you exactly what he’s done,” Regulus said. He glanced up and down nervously, trying to find a way out now. “He’s put a ban on it, you see? He’d know immediately. Just know that. Talk to Dumbledore. Please. He’ll know. I made a mistake, but I’ll try to fix it. There’s one I know of. I don’t know how many, but I know about one and I’ll do my best to destroy it. If I die during the process, I’ll at least have done one good thing with my life. Just – I regret it. Please. Don’t remember me like just the asshole I was. I changed.”

We were silent again. No one knew what to reply. What was he talking about?

“I need to leave,” he pressed out. “I need to leave, or else they’ll find out I was here. Please. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll talk to Dumbledore,” I assured him when I realized that Sirius and James were both way too proud to answer and acknowledge his apologies.

Regulus gave me a small, fleeting smile, before his eyes turned sad again and he turned around abruptly, vanishing in the forest. The last thing we saw was his loose, black coat fluttering behind him, before he was totally gone and we were left in silence, confused.

In fact, we are still confused, now half an hour later in the common room. Sirius has drawn into himself, he’s not talking, and Remus is just holding him, not talking either. James is angry enough for all of us.

Dumbledore is not at Hogwarts. ‘The Headmaster is at the Ministry’, Professor McGonagall told us with raised eyebrows when she found us in front of the Gargoyles that protect Dumbledore’s office, James practically screaming at them. ‘Is it urgent?’

It is, but we couldn’t really tell her, so now we know as much as we did before. Dinner is in ten minutes. I doubt that anyone will be able to eat much, but oh well.

I’ll tell you what is up as soon as I know more! But things are changing, this world his changing, people are changing. It’s all going too fast, overwhelming at least me, but right now it’s seriously getting to the point endure or die.


	27. 4th of May

Thursday, 4th of May

Okay, it is currently lunch time. None of us have attended a single class today, but we’ve talked to Dumbledore. We’d been watching the Marauder’s Map like hawks since 6:30 am, and at nine, Dumbledore finally showed up on it, appearing in his office. Okay, so maybe good manners would have suggested to let him sleep, or at least rest, before we stormed through the entire school to talk to him, but… Let me just say we were at the office at 9:05. Sirius, whose life spirits had come back overnight, hammered on the door.

The Gargoyles let us pass soon, with raised eyebrows. The door at the top of the magical spiral stairs was wide open. Dumbledore, who didn’t even look particularly exhausted (seriously, how? Does that man even require sleep? How old is he again?) was sitting at his desk.

“Professor Dumbledore,” I breathed, out of breath due to relief (and maybe because I wasn’t used to running so much, and Hogwarts was a freaking big castle). “It’s good to see you, sir.”

“It’s good to see you, too, Miss Evans,” he replied with a small smile. “And all of you. But shouldn’t you be in class?”

“We need to talk to you, Professor,” James said matter-of-factly. Everyone else nodded along. “First of all, I appreciate that you upped the security measures around the grounds, but you might want to improve those some more.”

“Please,” Dumbledore said, now no longer smiling. His expression was dead serious. “Take some seats.” He conjured up five chairs out of thin air, those squishy big red ones that are way too comfortable to have serious matter-of-life-or-death conversations in them, but that? That was just Dumbledore. We sat down.

“My brother,” Sirius gritted out through his teeth, “ _Surprised_ us yesterday near the lake.”

“He showed us his dark mark,” Remus added. “And he said something weird.”

“He said you would know,” I pleaded. “Apparently He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has split his soul, and Regulus wants to destroy one part but we don’t know how that works, that hasn’t been in any of our coursework, I’ve never found anything similar in the library!”

“Breathe, Lily,” James muttered. I remember feeling his warm hand on my knee, calming me down. The corners of Dumbledore’s mouth didn’t as much as twitch.

“Miss Evans,” he said. “I’m glad that you have not heard about the process of splitting one’s soul. This was exactly my intention when I removed all books about the subject from the library, and forbid teachers to even mention it. What Regulus told you about is known under the name ‘Horcruxes’, and it is the darkest magic I can imagine. I’d been suspecting Voldemort to take that final step, but that it is now confirmed doesn’t please me.”

“I’m sorry Sir, but what exactly are those _Horcruxes_?” I asked after a few seconds of the entire room being so quiet you could’ve heard a needle fall to the ground. How, by Merlin, that was possible, was all I could think.

So Dumbledore explained, which, to be honest, didn’t exactly make it better. So apparently with some charm you can get your soul to split and latch onto something, either an object or something alive and live on, all alone. I mean, I’ve known about magic for like seven years now, and I’ve seen some supremely creepy stuff, but this tops it all. Already committing a murder, not out of self-defence, no, simply murdering an innocent person just because you feel like it, is one of the absolute worst things I can imagine, if not the worst. And no, I won’t make a joke here. But then, doing it to ensure no one can kill you?

Dumbledore thinks that You-Know-Who has split his soul into seven parts, the final act of superstition to make sure he’d really become invincible, and immortal. Not to complain, but this does make winning the war more difficult. And even if Regulus manages to destroy that one Horcrux he apparently knows about, we’ll have to find out about five more of them, before it even makes sense to attack You-Know-Who. The world is cruel.

So yeah, at lunch now. It’s been a depressing day, all in all, and I think I’ll leave you to this. Oh, one more thing: Of course Dumbledore’s forbidden us to do our own research regarding the Horcruxes, but will that hinder us? Of course not. As we all know, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a fanatic, superstitious, pretentious, fake, sadly smart as fuck asshole. That’s our starting point. From here on, we’ll try to find out what he might’ve chosen to carry a part of his soul. (Still getting goosenbumps just from imagining that. Don’t you feel, like, empty without a proper soul? Does he even still have feelings?)

Bye, future people! I hope that splitting your soul hasn’t become common in your times.


	28. 11th of May

Thursday, 11th of May 1978

It’s a week later and we’ve made zero progress. It is not as easy to get into He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s mind as we thought. To be honest, that’s not really a surprise. But we haven’t lost hope yet. Losing hope would mean our death (quite literally, sadly.) This morning, another unpleasant thing happened, but I don’t need to explain this one to you. See for yourself instead.

**The Daily Prophet, Thursday, 11 th of May**

My dear readership, we’re looking out of a tunnel of war into a bright future. Multiple sources in the high ranks of the Ministry have assured me that the Ministry was gaining back control. ‘We will make the wizarding world great again’, they say, and isn’t that what we all want, what we all need? A great, strong community of wizards that doesn’t let any evil stay on the surface of this planet. Our precious England will be pure, and powerful.

Further news do only confirm this. While the Aurors are only inches away from catching Bellatrix Black and a few more of those who changed sides, the giant sightings in Northern England have greatly subsided. The Aurors have finally gotten enough support to chase them back into the mountains, support from brave wizards and witches. The Ministry still needs every bit of support it can get from the wizarding community, so sign up and help making our world great again.

Bertha Allenscrow, a lovely woman whose house was just barely spared when the giants attacked in Northern England, says: “I’m really glad things are in order again. This community has needed strong people at the top of the Ministry for a long time and it seems that they’ve finally got the guts to take the necessary measures.” I agree, Bertha! I’ll get back to you with further exclusive news sooner than you’d expect it! We still need to hear about the Inferi crisis in the West, but the Ministry had positive words regarding that issue as well.

_-Rita Kimmkorn_

Do I have to tell you what that means? I don’t think so. Rita Kimmkorn being like one of the worst human beings ever is no news, but her positive attitude towards everything Ministry in times of war sure is. Merlin, the Ministry being so positive towards everything despite things clearly not getting better is huge bad news. They’ve taken over the Ministry. My best guess: They’ve put Imperius curses on everyone high up there, and they’ve put their own people up there, too. Screw them all, filthy Death Eaters! Why are there always bad people in the world? And why is the bad always so much more powerful than the good?

The news haven’t spread that much in Hogwarts, especially not amongst those up to Fifth Year, when they start getting a little interested in politics and might subscribe to the Daily Prophet. Still, we’ve been hearing hushed voices all over Hogwarts today. The teachers aren’t in the best mood either. Dumbledore wasn’t at breakfast, but a quick look at the Marauder’s map tells us that he’s pacing furiously in his office. Or thinking. Knowing Dumbledore, he would not pace furiously, rather think.

Future people, I’d really like to have some more interesting stuff to tell you but as it is, it’s already May and our NEWTs are approaching dangerously fast. It is insane how quickly time passes. It is also insane how much of it is actually possible to spend in the library, now that Quidditch season is over and we’re studying as well as doing research for possible Horcruxes. I’ll get back to you with new information as soon as we’ve found out something. Literally anything. But I guess we’ve already made progress just knowing that there are Horcruxes? (Also, I’m going to _ace_ those finals. You’d think I’d have a hell of a lot more work to do than the others, but nope, as I’ve been keeping tracks of my notes during basically my entire time at Hogwarts, the workload to revise it all is massive, but kind of doable.)


	29. 14th of May

Sunday, 14th of May 1978

This album is not a diary, but I still tend to forget that I don’t tell you everything about what happens here. I mean, I’m just kind of assuming you know some things about Hogwarts. I hope this amazing place still exists. Honestly, I can’t quite imagine how a world without Hogwarts would be any good. (Might be because I wouldn’t be able to speak French if my life depended on it, and I’ve heard nasty things about American wizarding schools.) If you don’t know anything about Hogwarts, I recommend Felicity Allen’s diary as your next read (she’s a Hufflepuff sixth year, but not one of the nice ones – I swear that half of Hogwarts gossip was created by her) or, if you’re going for a more sophisticated option and aren’t interested in Esmeralda Greengrass’s newest nail polish, _Hogwarts: A history_.

Today, though, I want to give you some information about Hogwarts in this album, too. (It’s become less of an album lately, but there’s just not been anything worth taking a picture of. No one wants to see the humongous amount of dust in the library.) So I’ve decided to make everyone write down something about Hogwarts that they want to be reminded of whilst rereading this in twenty years. Sit back and enjoy the ride! We’ll start with James.

**What I’m going to miss about Hogwarts is too much to make a somewhat readable sentence, Merlin knows, so I’ve decided to avoid the issue and make a list. Here we go: Constantly having my friends around, (I’m definitely getting a flat with Lily so that’s not going to be an issue that needs to be on the list), the Quidditch pitch and being captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, pranks, pranks, and pranks again, (and Prongs), the Great Lake, going for runs around the Great Lake, the house elves’ cooking, just the house elves in general for laundry and cleaning and all that, Minnie of course, annoying Filch, parties in the common room, the Astronomy tower, Transfiguration, Dumbledore’s speeches, knowing the entire castle by heart. I think I could list like a million things more? But I don’t know what else right now that wouldn’t be offensive? I suppose that in twenty years I’ll simply miss being young. Thirty-eight, man, that’s like, way too old. Otherwise the only thing I can say is: One a (true) Marauder, (almost) always a Marauder!**

Have a guess about the next.

**I’m going to miss a lot about Hogwarts, but one thing I definitely won’t miss is studying. Final exams start in three weeks and I’m counting the hours until I’ll never pick up a textbook ever again. But this was meant to be positive, wasn’t it, Lils? So I’ll give you what I’ll miss with all my heart and then some: Quidditch! Flying! The magical atmosphere of this castle! My friends! (Can I say Quidditch again?) Oh, cake! Definitely cake, any cake. And scrambled eggs, and pumpkin pie, and honestly just buffet-style meals (mashed potatoes!) with everything you could ever wish for. My eyes still go as wide as they did on September first, 1971, as my glance first touched the mountains of heavenly, luscious deliciousness, every time I sit down at the Gryffindor table now, almost seven years later, you just can’t see it anymore because I’m in a constant state of fatal exhaustion and the widening of the eye is minimal to require minimum effort. I’ll also, surprisingly, miss Herbology classes (plants are really great) and sneaking around in the castle. Avoiding Filch has been my favourite game for years now and it’ll be hard to find a new one. I’ll miss that you can be totally yourself at Hogwarts because no one is in the position to judge as everyone is weird as hell.**

Hint: She’s been my crazy best friend for years. Reading her contribution to this project, the only bonding point that must’ve welded us together at the age of eleven is the love for cake? You go, little me, set your priorities right and chose an amazing best friend that couldn’t be more different from you. Next up is Remus. I won’t even make you guess because it is just too easy.

**What I’m going to miss most about Hogwarts are for sure my friends, although I sometimes hate them and wonder how I managed to sleep in one dormitory with them without murdering them for seven years. My boyfriend is luckily so clingy that I don’t need to be to make sure he stays close to me after graduation. Don’t even try deny it, Sirius, you are and you’ll always be my very favourite drama queen. Next up are classes. I’ve learned so much in seven years! Thanks for always being my partner in studying, Lily, even back when you still highly disapproved of my choice of friends. Charms, DADA, even Potions, Transfiguration… I’m going to miss you all. I might just have to go shopping at Flourish and Blott’s for new school books every now and then. I’ll miss the security provided through Hogwarts and Albus Dumbledore (not going to miss the Shrieking Shack, even though it has saved my life like twenty times, sorry not sorry) and not having to worry about whether there’ll be work and food the next day. I’ll also miss Honeydukes. And I’ll miss the house elves. And the common room, especially the armchairs, they’re so comfortable, and the four-posters, same reason. And I’ll miss the Astronomy tower because… memories. Deep in my heart, I’ll forever be a Marauder! (… proud of being the most reasonable Marauder.)**

And because those two shall not be separated, of course I’ll put in Sirius’ answer to my question next.

**When Hogwarts is over, what am I going to do without Minnie’s stern looks, Dumbledore’s inspirational speeches (and James’ less inspirational ones before a Quidditch match, because nothing beats Dumbledore’s skill of lining up random words to form something beautiful) and the rising anger levels of Filch because we pranked him again and again? I’ll have to create a Marauder’s map for every place I ever go to! And what am I going to do without the constant eye-scolding from my dear boyfriend? Oh, right, that won’t stop because I’m dragging him along with me. I’ll miss the carefreeness that we had during these seven years, the parties, the Quidditch, Padfoot, the house elves, annoying the crap out of Slytherins and teachers, getting good grades for not doing homework, using my genius to create fantastic things or become fantastic things (jokes on you, I’m always fantastic). I’ll miss just about everything here. Once a true Marauder, always a true Marauder! Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor! We’re going to (punk)rock this world.**

And the last one is me. And yes, I used a separate piece of parchment as well, although obviously I am allowed to write in here. It’s for the aesthetic.

**These seven years at Hogwarts have been (and still are, because I’m in denial about how short the time that we have left actually is) the absolute best time of my life, without any doubt. Knowing myself as a pretty sentimental person (I used to have a cat when I was five, and I don’t even really remember it, but sometimes I cry because it died), I’m sure that twenty years from now I’ll miss absolutely everything about Hogwarts with not a single exception. I might even miss Filch. But this will be a list of all things that I’ve come to love at this (literally) magic place: The magic that is constantly in the air. I remember what it was like to live without magic, although it was always there, and I don’t want that ever again. My friends. Always being able to count on them being there. The library, which might seem really lame, but the Hogwarts library is everything but lame. There are thousands of books stored in those holy halls, old books and newer ones and they contain so much information and I wish I could’ve read them all. That was actually my objective when I first set foot into the library at the age of eleven. Sorry, little me, we didn’t do it, although we spent a lot of time reading. The common room! (Armchairs, is all I’m going to say. Same goes for the beds.) The house elves. I hate doing laundry with a burning passion, almost as substantial as my passion for the marvellous food they make. Always learning. (No, not studying, I’m not that masochist and not that much into studying either. Learning, finding out something new every single day.) Going for walks outside. Common room gatherings. Being head girl. Being a proud Gryffindor. Finding out so much about myself. I have so many memories here. I’ll just end this before I stain the parchment with tears. Hogwarts, I’ll miss you.**

So this is a little overview of our thoughts on Hogwarts and our time there coming to an end. I didn’t want this entry to be depressing but somehow it ended up being exactly that, although we listed positive things? Change in life is so hard I just want to stay here forever I don’t want this episode of my life to end I want to be in denial of the real world forever. For today, I’ll let myself be, and now I’ll go watch my sweaty, shirtless boyfriend with perfectly defined abs running around the lake for fun on this beautiful sunny Sunday, and procrastinate revising my History of Magic notes. We’ve got three weeks until the written exams start.

Oh, there’s one more thing! Although James and I have been Head Girl and Boy now for almost the entire year, I’ve barely gotten around to telling you what exactly we do. Well, we do patrols, which you knew, and we make sure that the Prefects know what they have to do, and we report to the teachers, and students can come to us with their problems, and we have our own luxurious bathroom with so many different bubble baths that I’ve barely gotten around to trying them all out, and we also schedule things like Hogsmeade weekends or end-of-the-year-fancy-dances. We’ve scheduled the next, and our very last Hogsmeade weekend for Sunday a week from now. I’ll tell you more about the end-of-the-year-fancy-dance that we are currently planning devotedly as soon as everything is set in stone. See you soon, future people! For you, the next entry is just the turn of a page away…


	30. 21st of May

Sunday, 21st of May 1978

Today, we took a break from studying (yet another break from studying I should maybe say) and went to Hogsmeade. I love that village. I want to live in a tiny little village with lots of magic like that. After seeing the world, of course. James, if you still want me to get a flat with you, take notes right now because I know what I want. Imagine a beautiful little house with a nice garden, and some nice neighbours that are wizards as well… By Merlin, I’m eighteen. I should not be this domestic already before I’ve finished school. America, I’m still coming!

There’s a list of important things I want to tell you about this particular Hogsmeade visit, as you know about Hogsmeade visits in general.

Number One: We took Lumos with us. Do you remember Lumos? I know I don’t tell you about him very often, but that’s because he’s become a part of our routine and I only write about really special things? We’ll take him for walks, and he’s grown so much already, our small, precious puppy. This, though, was the first time we took him off Hogwarts grounds and he had so much fun disturbing everyone in Hogsmeade! At least it was warm enough so that the job of taking care of him while the others were inside shops was a job we were all even eager to take. (Except for Honeydukes. Honeydukes was a battle.)

_There’s a picture of a black dog that still has, although much larger than the last time he was pictured in this album, very much puppy features and is still incredibly cute, jumping around on the cobble stone pavement. It’s sunny, and in the background, you can see random students hastily passing by (again and again because this is a picture). Remus, holding the leash, has a mixture of desperation and fondness in his expression that is so typically Remus it makes Sirius next to him cackle._

Number Two: So I don’t know whether I told you about that boyfriend that Marlene had like a few weeks ago for like two weeks? Merlin, I’m such an awful best friend. Anyways, what I’m sure I didn’t tell you is that after a few nice dates, he turned out to be an asshole (we have contacts, man. It’s not like we don’t talk to Ravenclaw girls? Book Club is not just for reading!). Luckily, she got over him pretty quickly (there might or might have not been itching powder involved in the process). Well, today our dear Marlene got herself another date… and it’s the Ravenclaw girl that her ex-boyfriend-who-we-don’t-talk-about-anymore cheated on her with. Her name is Noelle and she’s really lovely. I’m so happy for Marlene! The two of them go together perfectly. Where Marlene is loud, Noelle is quiet, where Marlene is blond, she has dark hair, where Marlene is awkward with words, Noelle always finds the right words to say. She’s funny, too, and tougher than you’d think when you just pass her in the corridors, tough enough to not be intimidated by the Marauders. (Also this has been going on for two weeks and Marlene hasn’t told me until today. I’m kind of miffed because of that but then again not really, as long as they’re happy.)

_There’s a picture of two smiling girls, Marlene on the left and a dark-haired girl with a cute smile and doe eyes on the right. They’re walking towards the camera with linked hands, bouncy steps and sparkling eyes right in the middle of the street like the two queens they totally are. (If you look closely, you can spot two more “queens” behind them. You know exactly who I’m talking about._

Number Three: I ate so much chocolate that I think I’m actually going to die of a heart disease? Let me just tell you one thing if you have never tasted Honeydukes’ chocolates before, which in itself is an audacity: It is the most amazing chocolate that has ever been created and I’m fairly sure it has been crafted by Merlin himself on the same day he decided that this planet needed unicorns and phoenixes. You get the image of how amazing those chocolates are? How much your taste buds explode in your mouth and then just crave more, more, more? (I’m a little addicted to sugar. What can I say, I love my abs so much that I protect them extra well.) We also went to the Three Broomsticks and a very sentimental Madam Rosmerta offered us a round of butterbeers on the house. Just admit it, we were everyone’s favourite students right from the start, me because obviously and the Marauders because they have a secret that I still haven’t figured out (“it’s our natural charm” – James Potter), and now that we only show up together as if someone had put an irremovable sticking charm on us, people just straight up adore us.

Number Four: Hogsmeade is great and James and Sirius have a tendency to get brilliantly stupid ideas, but spending an entire hour in Zonko’s, a shop that doesn’t have more than forty square metres, is not acceptable! Like, seriously? (“yes, siriusly” – Sirius Black) I swear, that was too much. (It was after that that we finally got well-deserved butterbeers.) I’ll never visit a joke shop with my dear boyfriend ever again, no matter how much you pout, James Potter!

I think that is about it for today’s Hogsmeade visit! All in all it was really awesome. Do I get abs from laughing? I feel like I’ve talked too much about abs today. James has beautiful abs. Not that… oh, whatever. It’s a fact. It’s also late, and tomorrow at eight we’ve got a nice rendez-vous with Professor McGonagall to refine our skills one of the last times before out UTZ exams.

Good night, future people!


	31. 24th of May

Wednesday, 24th of May 1978

It’s not Sunday, but I’ve decided that after this DADA lesson, my head hurts too much to focus on the potions revision that I’d scheduled for now. I’ll just have to rely on knowing this part of my notes already. Seriously, that lesson was intense. They shouldn’t be allowed to put us through anything this intense anymore at this point of the year if it was up to me. It’s torture. Even my muscles are sore! But that was not what I wanted to talk about, just the reason why I found the time to sit down here and actually write. (My head _hurts_ …)

Whilst studying, we’ve also come up with a list of possible horcruxes that You-Know-Who might use.

  * **A random penny** (If he was smart, he’d do that – impossible to find – but who wants his soul to be passed around randomly in the entire world? That thing would be impossible to keep track of, and I personally don’t think it’s very likely that he thinks so lowly of his soul.)
  * **Anything belonging to Salazar Slytherin** (imagine the symbolical worth)
  * **His old school stuff** (from what I’ve heard, he was so proud of being at Hogwarts and never liked to go home. Nobody knows who his parents are, either, at least nobody I know. If we could get Dumbledore to help us on this, it would be three hundred percent more effective, but I’m afraid that won’t happen anytime soon. Imagine just like a tie, or an award he won – there’s still a trophy with his name, Tom Riddle, in the trophy room. He apparently was an excellent student. I really wonder how they justify not removing that trophy. He’s not exactly an honour student anymore, now, is he?
  * **An animal** (would be like possessing an animal. Maybe a snake or a spider? Definitely something spine-chilling like that.)
  * **Jewellery** (c’mon he must’ve loved someone at some point. A school romance, and he kept her necklace… Or maybe it’s just jewellery that’s been passed down in his family forever, he’s an only child after all.)
  * **A tissue** (wouldn’t he want to carry around the bit of his soul he needs to protect at all cost all the time? A tissue is one of the least suspicious things to always carry with you, and no one would try taking a possibly dirty, germ-contaminated tissue from you. Again the problem with no ritual side to the artefact. As superstitious as he is…)
  * **His wand** (is that even possible? Can you turn something as magic as that into a horcrux? The wand chooses the wizard, after all. It’s kind of got a will of its own.)



That’s all we managed to come up with until now, and it’s vague as hell. There’s nothing to possibly do with it now. We need more information, but not even in the Restricted Section would you find anything about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named aka Tom Riddle. The little information we have about him was gathered from newspaper articles, for Merlin’s sake! We’re still searching for them all over the library, and Madam Pince is getting awfully suspicious.

Lovely James just brought me some tea to get rid of the headache. I think I’ll have to keep that boy around after all. He knows exactly how I like my tea.

There are only a month (and six days) left until we’ll take the Hogwarts express a very last time. This is so depressing. I can’t deal with this. I really can’t deal with this. I’ll need another tea. Or three.

You can just see the seventh years casually freaking out all over Hogwarts now. Last year we loved about them. This year, though…

I’ll see whether I can get some potions done now.

Edit: Wednesday, 24th of May 1978, very late at night (Prongs)

I’m laughing so hard that the entire house of Gryffindor will probably be awake again soon. Let me just show you three things while Lily is throwing a fit next to me.

_There’s a picture of Lily, asleep in the common room, sitting in an armchair, bunches of notes in her lap. Her head keeps falling back as she’s obviously in a deep slumber. Suddenly, the fire behind her lights up violently and the camera is dropped as a shadow rushes towards her._

**_There’s something glued into the album right under the picture. It’s hard to identify what it is at first, just a black, reddish thing, until you lean closer and smell it. Come on, smell it. It’s the unmistakable smell that nightmares are made of. It’s a burn strand of hair._ **

_There’s another picture of Lily, but this time, she’s wide awake and screaming. Her hair on the right side is burned to an extent where it is very visible. James on her left has overly dramatically clasped his hand over his mouth, mimicking Sirius, who is doing it for real whilst fiddling with Lily’s hair, trying to repair it as much as possible. In the background, you can see a broken mug and (thankfully the mug was empty, otherwise they’d be ruined) notes scattered all over the floor._

This, children, is why you should not fall asleep next to the fireplace. This is also what exam stress will do to you. Enjoy your freedom while you still have it, because school even takes your hair.

(The common room smells like burnt hair with a hint of strawberry. I love that shampoo, but right now, it’s just morbid.)

(Remus is chuckling and suggesting we make s’mores with strawberries. Now Sirius is hitting him and Lily is just screaming hysterically. Welcome to the seventh year, where we’re meant to almost be adults and still hit each other with pillows when something went wrong instead of fixing the issue at hand. I love pillow fights, so now I’ll go join in and put this album away somewhere far from flames so that it won’t burn as well.)


	32. 28th of May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If any of you are from New Zealand, please tell me! (You can also tell me where you're from if you're not, it'd be interesting to know where my readers come from.)  
> Big love to everyone who's stuck with me this far!

Sunday, 28th of May 1978

If you are asking yourself what happened to my hair: Madam Pomfrey was nice enough to grow it back. I also considered ditching my stupid jerk of a boyfriend, who didn’t have anything better than laughing to do as my hair vanished into thin air and only a small pile of ashes was left, for Sirius, who recognized the catastrophe for what it was. In the end he apologized profusely. We’re fine, don’t worry. (And Sirius is way too gay anyways.)

We’re really fine, James and me, and I’ve got a story to tell you.

So we went for a walk today, clearing our heads a little, walking around the Great Lake. James even convinced me to go into the Forbidden Forest for about ten minutes because he wanted to transform into Prongs. I took the advantage and let him carry me on his back. No, I’m not going to say the word. This is at least PG-rated.

As we were casually walking and enjoying the sun, which was very nice-

_There’s a photo of the Great Lake, glittering in the sunlight as a soft breeze causes even softer waves that gently stir the surface. The trees in the background are dark. You can see James and Lily’s linked hands at the bottom of the picture._

-indeed, suddenly a blood-curling scream pierced through the calm. We looked around frantically, and, about a hundred metres from us, we saw a bunch of younger students, second-years as I’ve learned afterwards, screaming and running around like headless chickens, and waving their arms around. We started to run. James let go of my hand to run faster (he’s got the advantage of longer legs) and arrived before me. When I got there, he’d already jumped into the lake fully clothed and started swimming like a maniac.

It took me a few moments to even get one comprehensible word out of one of the girls that had stayed back. There was another girl that was sobbing hysterically, and two shouting boys that would pay absolutely no attention to me trying to calm them down.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Hayley swam out,” the girl said, “and I don’t know what happened but something must’ve happened because she normally is an amazing swimmer and one second she was there, laughing, and then suddenly she wasn’t anymore! She’s drowning and she’s too far away we can’t swim that far- she swims so well normally! She’s muggle-born, like me, and she used to be on the swim team, and we don’t know what’s going on, maybe she had a seizure or something, but she never had that before! I’m so scared what if she dies? This is my fault she shouldn’t swim out alone I should’ve been there to help her!”

The poor girl was totally worked up. Understandable, isn’t it? I tried my best to calm her down while watching James. My chest felt tight. I needed to seem positive, but what if he’d get there too late? The Great Lake was pretty deep, and there were all sorts of creatures down there, too, that didn’t like it when students invaded their privacy.

“It’s not your fault,” I said as calmly as possible. “Don’t worry. James will save her. You did the right thing when you screamed for help.”

She continued sobbing and trembling. There was nothing we could do but wait. James was diving. It felt as if five minutes passed as we watched the surface that both of their heads had now vanished from. The second girl’s sobs slowly subsided. She was awfully pale. I somehow managed to ease them both into sitting down, afraid that they’d just faint in front of my eyes, and when I looked back at the lake, James had resurfaced. In his arms he held a blonde girl. She was unconscious.

He pulled her back to the shore, careful to keep her head above the water. It took a painfully long time, at least that’s what it felt like, but when they finally arrived, everything happened quickly. He hastily climbed out of the water in his soggy wet clothes, and put the girl down on the grass before reviving her with practised moves. She coughed after a few seconds, spitting out water. Her eyes fluttered open slowly.

Everything else is kind of a blur in my mind by now. We took her and her relieved friends to Dumbledore as fast as we could, both James and the girl named Hayley still wet, and then he took over with his usual calm. He charmed them both and their clothes dry. He offered all of us tea and conjured up those perfectly soft armchairs. By the time the actual conversation started, everyone had significantly calmed down. It turned out that the girl had really had some sort of seizure, but never experienced that before. She was understandably terrified. We brought her to Madam Pomfrey after the talk, where she stayed with her friend.

And that, future people, was the story of how James saved a little girl from drowning today! By the way, Dumbledore awarded Gryffindor thirty points for that. We’re totally winning the house cup. The word of his heroic deed had of course spread by dinner (this is _Hogwarts_ ) and he was, once again, celebrated. I’ve stopped wondering at some point where his massive ego has come from. This time, though, he really deserved it. Saving people makes one quite tired, so I’ll go to bed now. Only a week until the exams start…


	33. 5th of June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So guys, it's officially June and you know what that means. There's 25 days left of the Marauder's seventh year at Hogwarts. If there are still any requests, pretty please comment them now so that I still have enough time to actually write them into the story. My own school year has 40 days left. Well, technically 47, but in 40 days, I'm flying to New Zealand and I'll be gone for half a year. As you can imagine, I'm getting pretty excited and it's getting hard to focus on anyting else, so right now I'm trying hard to make the end of this work good for you. After this long, long introduction and a little insight into my private life, enjoy the new chapter!

Monday, 5th of June 1978

This is officially the day the exams start. It is also officially the day that I’m going to die. The time is currently seven am. I’m at breakfast, but even cake (and the house elves have outdone themselves, as they always do on this particular day) tastes like cardboard. How does a meringue lemon tart manage to taste like cardboard, you ask? I don’t even know. I also shouldn’t be thinking about that when my first exams, of all exams there are, is Transfiguration. TRANSFIGURATION! Why did I sign up for this again? Oh yeah, because I care deeply about my future… that might not even happen. At least I’ll either die smart, or maybe survive due to my superior knowledge. (That’s the spirit, Lily. We can do this.)

Oh, Professor McGonagall is passing around biscuits to her students. Lovely. I’m going to miss her when this is all over. Seriously, coming to think about it, it’s not even possible to fail the exam with a teacher like her. I’m a model student. This will be my motivational mantra now. I can do this.

Pro-tip for exams: Be confident. Rock that shit. You know those freaking answers. You gotta cheer for yourself out there in the real world, too.

(In my head, I said that in a Sirius-Black-voice. It’s a collaboration of our geniuses.)

Breakfast is almost over. I’ve finished my cardboard piece of cake. This will be such an effective diet, except not, because I’ll be starved after a week of cardboard food. Oh Merlin I hope the anxiety wears off earlier than Friday. I have to go now. See you at lunch when the first part of hell is already over. I’ll tell you the entire schedule then.

 

I’m way too honest. Our lunch date did not happen. Not that it makes a big difference to you whether I write this at lunch or after dinner, except for the risk of stains being considerably lower (joking because I’m having tea). I’m still telling you though! Our lunch date didn’t happen because I had such bad hand cramps and this afternoon, I also had to take another exam… Potions. Right now, I can think positively about it – the two basically hardest subjects, done on the first day of exams week. Also tomorrow morning there is nothing, nada, niente, except for History of Magic revision because that’s what I’ll do in the afternoon.

Do you understand now why I had to get rid of the cramps rather than fuelling them by writing more?

Today I have learned something. Coincidentally, James has laughed at me for ten minutes today. It is healthy to learn something new every day, but there’s also some things that you should learn as, like, a First Year student. Or at least as a Fifth Year student. Especially when you’re a prefect. You should know it when you’re Head Girl.

Without further ado, I’m sharing the mind-blowing fact I learned today with you: _NEWTs_ stands for _Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests_.

I know, okay? I know.

So, the schedule. Tuesday afternoon: History of Magic. Wednesday morning: Charms. Wednesday afternoon: Arithmancy. Thursday morning: Defence Against the Dark Arts. Thursday afternoon: A glorious nothing. Friday morning: Study of Ancient Runes.

And that’s it. That’s it all. Except for the practical exams. Really, it’s just the written ones. But still. They’ll be done. Over. Complete. Ended. Buttoned up. Fulfilled. Do you get the picture? Because I don’t. This school has been my life and home for seven years, and now I’m supposed to leave? I’m not sure yet whether that is really happening, to be honest with you once again.

I want to get drunk. How have I gotten used to unhealthy coping methods so quickly? Not good, Lily. Not good at all. There’s no way you’re getting drunk during exams week, no matter how tempting it is, because then all motivational mantras won’t be of any use anymore. Zero. Don’t get drunk on a Monday night at all, actually. If you can avoid it, don’t get drunk at all. Excessive abuse of anything is never good, but… oh, practise what you preach or shut the fuck up. You should find out for yourself where your boundaries lie. Don’t worry when you sometimes step over the line. It’s alright. It’s not alright during exam time.

Instead of drinking, I’ll give my brain a real break. I’ll take a shower and go to bed.

Goodnight future people!


	34. 9th of June

** Friday, 9th of June 1978 **

It’s over and I’m pretty sure I even survived. I don’t know. I’m still on the Marauder’s Map, but then again, so is Professor Binns, and he died… Actually I don’t know. Am I still alive? Help. I’m having a serious crisis right here.

It’s been confirmed that I am in fact alive, and now my arms hurts because my shithead of a boyfriend couldn’t think of any other way to do that than pinch me. Hard. Well. On the bright side, I am alive, dinner is in five minutes (I’m so looking forward to food that tastes like food again) and written EXAMS are OVER!

After four hours of Ancient Runes (aka torture) we are free. My hands are still shaking. I literally had to go to Madam Pomfrey twice this week just to get a potion against cramps (in my hand, not what you think, but I can’t even imagine having both combined) and basically the only thing I ate was chocolate and cake so I’m essentially on a constant sugar high and feeling really unhealthy by now. I’ll have to load up on some veggies tonight. But we all got through exams week with only minor mental breakdowns.

Now there’s five days to go until the practical exams, but seriously? I’m not particularly stressed regarding those. I work better when I’m face to face with more than just a blank page. Humans are actually quite nice, although I’ve come to realize that they make a lot too much noise. I miss earplugs. At one point, I think it was Wednesday, I almost hexed myself just because I wanted to perform a Muffliato charm and got the spells mixed up. That was a scary moment, let me tell you.

Dinner time!

 

I feel so clean right now. All the poison has been washed from my body. I will now go and join a vegetable worship cult. Not. But still, I feel clean, because I had a nice dinner with food that didn’t taste like cardboard, and then I took a shower. Right now, Marlene and I are painting each other’s nails and creating a little dorm room spa. It’s pretty amazing.

It Friday evening, but we’re all way too tired to make something out of it, so we’re just hanging out in the boys’ dorm (more practical) and chilling. Marlene and I are doing a beauty session, and meanwhile James and Sirius are having a discussion about Quidditch, what else, but they too don’t really have any energy left. It’s nice and calm.

Who even thought: oh, let us make students have exams only once at the very end of the year instead of nicely spread out so that they can study separately for all of them? I bet it was someone in the Ministry of Magic who’s never gone to school before and just thought it’d be convenient.

Remus decided to take Lumos for a walk as the sun is basically still up, and everyone else has decided to join him. Prepare for a cuteness-overload!

_There is a picture of Lumos jumping up and down excitedly next to Remus, who is holding some kind of treat too high up in the air for the poor puppy to reach it. They’re outside, somewhere near the Forbidden Forest, and in the evening the light is soft. Lumos has grown quite a bit; he still looks more like a puppy than an actual dog though._

He is, a lot like Remus, a sucker for treats. Don’t misunderstand me, I beg you.

_The second picture is a group picture of the entire crew. All of them have the tip of their wands lit up as the darkness slowly gets deeper around them. The Lumos that is a living being, not just a spell, is right in the middle of them._

Aren’t we funny? It looks beautiful though, doesn’t it? I especially like the expression on Sirius’ face when Remus ruffles his hair. He always does it, and I think that this is the first picture I got of it. Priceless.

_The third picture is of Hagrid in front of his hut. He holds the tiny Lumos in his giant arms and laughs so that his entire massive body shakes. Lumos doesn’t even fidget. Apparently he’s already used to this treatment, and as barking as Hagrid’s laughter normally sounds, he might even understand something. Hopefully he’s not offended by it._

Here we are again, creative as ever, bringing Lumos back to his temporary home. But wait. It’s not over.

_The fourth picture shows a campfire. A literal campfire, with them all sitting around it. Lily looks pretty proud. (She used to be a scout, and credit for the fire mostly goes to her.) Their smiling faces are lit in a mystical way._

The evening was amazing after all. I’ll see you soon, future people!

 


	35. 13th of June

** Tuesday, 13th of June 1978 (very early in the morning) **

Hello, future people!

It is three in the morning and we’re way past the moment of falling asleep. It is also Tuesday of our practical exams week, but don’t worry. No exams tomorrow. In fact, we just had our Astronomy exam, me and James and Remus and Sirius. (Marlene didn’t take Astronomy. She’s quite probably sound asleep by now, and tomorrow, or rather today, we’ll envy her. Right now though is perfect.

When the exam was over about an hour ago, everyone left fairly quickly, which is understandable considering the time. We decided to stay. James spilled his ink all over his table, and when we were done cleaning up, the teachers were gone and we were alone up on the Astronomy tower. It is a warm night. There’s not a single cloud in the sky. The stars and the moon are so bright that we don’t even need our wands.

We’re lying in comfortable silence, simply enjoying the peace and the calm up here in the middle of the night. I wish it could always be like this. They feel like family; better than family, even. I’ve found this family for myself, and even though it took us almost seven years to truly find each other, the wait was worth it. If I had the chance to restart my life, I’d do the same over and over again because it brought me to this point, and this is where I belong. Hogwarts. My friends. The magical world. I’d like to stay here for ever.

The thing is, with the right people, it doesn’t matter where you are, whether it’s raining or the sun is shining, whether you have something to do or nothing. With the right people, every moment can be the best moment of your life.

In a few months, we’ll probably be in London, becoming Aurors, fighting. But we’ll have each other’s backs and somehow, we’ll survive this, too. We’ll walk through the hurricane and when it’s over, we’ll be stronger than ever.

I have no camera with me, but I’d like to describe for you, future people, what I can see right now, the sight that makes me smile so wide my cheeks hurt. They do that a lot, lately. During an exam this morning, I was told that I radiate optimism, and that is one of the most beautiful compliments I’ve ever received. I’ve received a lot of compliments; James Potter is my boyfriend. Nevertheless. Despite the suboptimal circumstances, I just feel like I could move mountains at the moments. Ten out of ten would recommend this feeling. I’m flying high, and my friends are too, and we have no intention whatsoever of ever coming down.

James and I are lying all tangled up. He definitely radiates warmth. With him, I always have my personal heater with him. Such a convenient boyfriend. Again, ten out of ten would recommend. The abs aren’t bad either. The worst about it is that on top of being so photogenic and fit that it should be forbidden, he can also hold conversation. I love him. Oh, and the best thing is that he loves me, too. Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t the world great sometimes? Due to the tangled up position, it is a miracle that I’m even able to write, but here you are. The soft silver lighting coming from the moon makes everything look like it’s emerged straight out of a fairy tale ten minutes ago, and my quill throws a long shadow onto the parchment, just like James’ eyelashes on his cheeks. The sight is beautiful. His eyes are peacefully closed, but every few seconds he squeezes my hand so I know that he’s awake.

Remus and Sirius are totally gone in their own world. I almost feel bad for looking at them, like I’m invading something intimate although they are just cuddling lazily, but only almost because I am that nosey. Also for documenting purposes. Someday, when they get married, they’ll thank me. They are staring into each other’s eyes, and at each other’s lips, and they are so in love that it’s almost painful, but the good kind of painful. The painful that leaves you smiling with tears in the eyes and enduring every second of bitterness because every moment of sweetness in this bittersweet mixture is a thousand percent worth it.

Oh, now they’re kissing and I should maybe stop staring at them so intently. Although this moment is what they aim for but never quite reach in Hollywood, this is not a cinema. It’s reality; raw, unfiltered and sometimes harsh, but beautiful. So beautiful. As is the boy next to me.

I’m so sleepy and so awake at the same time. My body is numb from exhaustion. I feel a bit like I’m floating. Being on the highest of Hogwarts’ towers probably helps with that feeling, too.

We can’t stay here forever, but we’ll stay a little while longer. Seventeen days. Seventeen days left of seven years at Hogwarts. Enough memories for a lifetime.


	36. 16th of June

** Friday, 16th of June 1978 **

In conclusion, practical exams are way easier than written ones. What they have in common though is that they are both over now. School’s out!

Now we have two wonderful weeks left until we officially graduate.

If the weather stays like this, we’ll spend our very last two weeks here in the common room in front of the fireplace with hot chocolate. Rain is hammering against the windows and a cold wind blows through the open corridors. I normally love this kind of weather, I really do; curling up somewhere warm with a cosy blanket and a nice book is wonderful. But do we really need autumn in June? Is that really necessary, England?

Right now, we aren’t even in the common room. Still, here in the library, the chairs are almost as comfortable and there is a fireplace. It is also quiet, because seriously, who the hell even studies anymore after the exams and two damn weeks before the entire schoolyear is over? Exactly. No one. I don’t even think Madam Pince is here. Thinking about that, maybe I could try _borrowing_ some books? Like until I die? Or at least until I have my own library at home and won’t miss the comforting smell of books that lingers in the air anymore?

Then again I really don’t feel like taking any of the books currently forming a huge tower on the poor wooden table in front of me. It might break any second under the weight of century-old books, covered in dust. James has started to keep track of my sneezes. Right now, he’s at thirty-eight and counting. It’s really awful. Madam Pince is always busy screeching at students in that loud whisper tone that drowns all other noise out. She doesn’t have any time to dust off the shelves. I can’t decide which task is more important – keeping the library quiet, or clean?

The content of these books is in no way damaged by the heavy coat of dust on the outside, it is just a little bit harder to see what they’re about from the outside. Most of the titles have vanished or are so chipped that they’re unreadable. Luckily, we still have an ace up our sleeve. It took a while to stuff that ace there, though, figuratively speaking, and it is a story that I would like to tell you now.

We, and you should know who I am talking about when I say we by now, have (hopefully) passed our UTZ’s. In preparation for that, we’ve studied, like, a little bit. (And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have just witnessed the understatement of the year.) We might or might have not collectively read about half of the library’s books. Or at least half of those that you can find. I’m positive that some books just don’t want to be seen. And even I have gotten pretty sick of reading textbooks as, in addition to the revisions for the final exams, we also started our Horcrux research.

Long story short, over the course of three weeks, we developed a spell. You are reading about this in the future. Have we succeeded? Is it still working as _(sorry)_ brilliantly as it is now? Do students use it all the time? Did you maybe use it on this very album because you are too lazy to read the entire thing? Maybe instead of asking you the questions, I should explain what our spell does. Marlene is looking over my shoulder as I write, complaining that I’m not getting any real work done, and telling me that all this information is unnecessary. It is my album though, and I’ll write whatever I want to. You can use our spell if you want to skip the uninteresting parts (which, of course, there aren’t any of.)

Essentially it is a skimming spell. We got creative with the name, too. Side note: The library holds three hundred and thirty-seven dictionaries for various languages, although none are offered at Hogwarts. Five of those are English-German. German is a powerful magic language. Not as powerful as Latin, but a lot less… _dead._ Sorry. I couldn’t think of a gentle way to put it. Then again, I guess when you insult Latin you can’t really offend anyone anymore – and I said it was powerful!

The German language also has words for the weirdest things that we don’t even have words for in English. For example:

**_Fremdschämen_ ** _(not sure whether that’s a noun or a verb actually I think it’s both?): When you cringe in someone else’s place because that person is so embarrassing and doesn’t even notice, aka my constant state when I’m with the Marauders in public._

**_Fernweh_ ** _(noun): The longing you experience when you just want to be far away. Opposite of homesickness._

**_Innerer Schweinehund_ ** _(noun with adjective, literal translation: inner pig dog): The voice inside my head that made me skip on any physical activity except for those damn staircases, also known as the scientific explanation for the great butts that wizards and witches have, for seven years. Believe it or not, I did dance in primary school. Which is not the point._

Those are great words but they don’t make a spell. Here is what makes a spell:

**_Querlesen_ ** _(verb): Skimming a book/page/article for the key words and the most important information to get a quick first impression of the text._

And now that makes a fabulous spell. Also Sirius and Marlene are over the moon because it almost contains queer. So what you do basically is you say the word “querlesen” and then you say the keyword you are looking for. With your wand, you draw a circle in the air and then you point it at the book you want to skim. And there you went and saved yourself a few hours of precious time.

And that is it for today my lovelies! I will be back soon. Unfortunately, even with our new technique and enhanced reading speed we have barely found anything about Hocruxes, or Voldemort. We need to talk to Dumbledore, but what if he tells us to stop inquiring completely?

Bye, future people!


	37. 19th of June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the chapter being a day late yet again, and also it is barely proofread; I hope there aren't too many mistakes. I'm doing my best, I promise!  
> I owe you that much. You all are truly amazing! Thank you!

** Monday, 19th of June 1978 **

It is a weird feeling to wake up late on a Monday. Everyone except for the students of seventh year still has classes, so in the morning, the building is oddly quiet. When we got to breakfast this morning shortly after eight (not quite used to sleeping in yet), practically no one was there. The Great Hall normally is relatively quiet at breakfast, at least compared to lunch or dinner, because everyone is still tired, but this morning it was a whole other level of quiet, let me tell you that.

Originally, we were planning on doing another day of research in the library and maybe taking Lumos for a walk in case it wasn’t raining in the afternoon. At Hogwarts though, you shouldn’t make too many plans and you should definitely not hold on to your original plans too much.

We were still sitting at the Gryffindor table, deciding on what to do, when Dumbledore came rushing into the Great Hall. The wind has tousled his hair and his beard so much that James’ habitually dishevelled look was nothing next to it. His expression was dead serious. He didn’t even spare the other tables as much as a glance. He came directly towards us.

“Come with me,” he said hurriedly, not looking any of us straight into the eyes. So we put our forks down and threw our half eaten toasts onto our plates, jumping up immediately. I felt fear pressing down on my lungs, making it hard to breathe. Something must have happened. Something bad.

We sprinted, and there is no other way to put it, up to his office. The gargoyles didn’t even ask for a password, just wordlessly swung to the side and left the entrance door unprotected. Dumbledore didn’t spare them as much as a glance. His face was hard, and there was an almost fanatic glow in his eyes that drowned out all the calm and peacefulness that the soft blue normally radiated. It was scary. This was one of the many reasons I decided to always question Dumbledore’s orders and beliefs. He is only a flawed human being like everyone else. He might be a lot wiser than a seventeen year old, but he isn’t perfect either and he is too involved in politics to always have a clear head and an objective view. That is humanly impossible.

It must have been out of habit that, once we arrived at his office, Professor Dumbledore conjured up just the right number of comfortable chairs, because I don’t think he would have remembered to do it in this moment. He himself didn’t sit down. He started pacing.

“Professor?” Sirius finally asked. He was the only one who dared to speak up. “What is going on?”

Hearing the voice of his student, the Headmaster visibly calmed down. I relaxed a little in my chair while he took three deep breaths and then finally sat down, too. The tension in the room was still awful though. It made my arm hairs stick up. I remember reaching for James’ hand. Dumbledore then turned to Sirius. Looking back now, I doubt that he even registered our presence in this moment.

“It’s your brother,” he said. Weirdly, his voice was totally calm and stood in a strong contrast to his behaviour, which was not calm at all, and very unlike the Dumbledore I believed to know until this afternoon. “The younger Black. He’s dead.”

Sirius’ face was stoic. I remember seeing his knuckles turn white as he tightened his grip around Remus’ hand. When we talked about it later, back in the common room, he said that he didn’t know what to feel. He’d hated his brother with a passion for almost six years, but loved him for almost twelve years before that, and then he’d shown up only weeks ago, apparently having switched sides again… Well, I get it. I wouldn’t have known what to feel either.

Fact, though: Regulus Black, possibly the only ally we might have had amongst the Death Eaters, is dead.

“What happened to him?” Sirius finally asked.

“He tried to get out”, Dumbledore answered. Within the few moments of silence, the thunderstorm had completely disappeared from his face. His features were all soft again. “He betrayed the Dark Lord, in the language of Voldemort’s supporters. It was Voldemort himself who killed him.” He paused for a moment, then added: “It might be hard to believe, Mr. Black, but your brother died for the right side. He left us with a clear conscience and bravery in his heart. Of course he made a lot of mistakes, but he was barely off age, young and lost. I’m not saying this to justify his actions. I would just like you, all of you, to remember him as someone who regretted his decisions and was ready to do everything to make things right again. And that is what he did, and he achieved more than I have in five months from a much more powerful decision.”

“What exactly did he achieve?” Sirius asked. He didn’t reply to any of the other things that Dumbledore had said. They made me think. What makes a human being bad? What makes a person go over to the dark side, and what makes a person come back? How many horrible things must Regulus have seen already? He died a year younger than we are now, sacrificed himself in this horrible war. It was during those thirty minutes in Dumbledore’s muggy office that I realized that we might all end up the same. Dead way too young. Dead, having barely seen anything of the world.

“He managed to find a Horcrux and make sure I got it to destroy it.” I think I breathed in quite loudly at this moment. I think we all did. “I have it right here.”

Dumbledore pulled a locket out of his pocket and placed it on the table. It looked small. It looked too small to contain something as meaningful as a part of a soul. Damn it. Things aren’t always what they seem to be. Remember that, kids.

“How do we destroy it?” I blurted out. Although it looked small, it radiated a deep feeling of darkness and hopelessness, almost like a Dementor, but different. There were like three feet distance between me and the thing, but the feeling yet managed to pull a string around my heart and lungs and let darkness creep up my limbs. It needed to go away. Everything in my body repelled it.

“A Horcrux can only be destroyed if the host has been destroyed beyond magical repair”, Dumbledore said thoughtfully. “As you know, magic can repair quite a lot of broken things. Especially you, Mr. Potter, have a lot of personal experience with that. So to destroy a Horcrux, you’d have to use for example the venom of a Basilisk, which is not exactly easy to one’s hands on, or Fiendfyre, a magical fire, which unfortunately you cannot put out once you’ve lit it. The consequences would be fatal. There are a few other, equally dangerous ways.”

“So what are we going to do?” James asked impatiently.

“We”, Dumbledore said slowly, “are going to be using the Sword of Gryffindor. I happen to know that a Basilisk was once killed with it in Ireland, almost fifty years ago.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I did it.” He sounded almost amused at this point. We, of course, were speechless. (Although one could have expected it from him. I would like to hear the millions of stories he must be able to tell, but I don’t think he’d share such private information with his students.) While speaking, he retrieved the Sword of Gryffindor from its showcase behind his desk. “Those were enthralling times, to say the least.”

He sat back down.

“Now, I need one of you to open the locket. Don’t listen to what it might say; although separated from the original host, a piece of soul is very much alive, and Voldemort’s soul is not a likeable one.” Well, that we knew. We had done our research on Horcruxes after all.

“I will do it”, Sirius immediately offered, jumping to his feet. “I’m going to finish what my brother has started.”

Dumbledore smiled at him and nodded. “Alright, then. Let us not waste any more time.”

And then, everything happened so quickly that I have basically no recollection of it. Dumbledore raised the Sword high above his head, Sirius snapped the locket open, and the blade darted down. A scream started to emerge from the locket. I pressed my hands onto my ears. After a few seconds, everything was over.

“Wow”, Remus breathed. I silently agreed. Dumbledore examined us all with kind eyes.

“I don’t want to see Hogwarts’ best students fight”, he said wistfully. “But every single one of you, with your brave souls, will make us proud. Now go and get some rest before lunch. You should enjoy your last few weeks here.”

“Thank you, Professor Dumbledore”, I answered automatically.

“Thank you”, Marlene and the others muttered. We were dismissed.

In silence, we walked back to our common room. Nobody said a word. It took us about an hour to process what had happened individually, and then the rest of the time until lunch to discuss everything.

If you’re reading this in the future and your time is peaceful, please be grateful and please make the most of it. People have fought, and people have died, and people have sacrificed themselves. That is the ugly truth, and yet there is so much beauty in people fighting for the world of peace and equality they believe in, people fighting for their friends and family. It shouldn’t need to happen.

And if your time isn’t peaceful, remember that you are not alone. The good will win at some point. Evil will be defeated. And defeated again. It might be a never ending battle, but you should never give it up.


	38. 24th of June

** Saturday, 24th of June 1978 **

This exact moment in a week, I’ll be – not at Hogwarts, that’s for sure.

Not home either.

The prospect is pretty damn freaking scary.

To be honest, we haven’t thought about where to go until now. It’s kind of an unspoken agreement that while Marlene’s future is pretty much planned out (she’s been accepted by the Harpies and they have a one-year training camp for newbies), the four of us that still have not much of a clue where to live are probably going to move in together.

Yes, I’m going to move in with the Marauders. Remember when James wanted me to so badly and I kept saying no? I know that was only a few months ago. No need to remind me. The thing is: Two out of three Marauders are filthy rich, two are awesome friends and one of them is the guy I love. If you need me to specify, welcome to this album, why are you starting to read near the end? It’s not good to spoil yourself. There’s only a few pages left now.

I can’t afford a flat, and I can’t afford finding new friends. Right now, there is not even a choice to be made.

We should’ve started looking for a flat sooner, but sorting out one’s priorities is difficult when it comes to two things as different as a place to stay or the most powerful dark magician’s soul. Plus, how do you even look for a flat? How do Muggles do that? Oh, wait. I am muggleborn. How do I not know how to do that? I never had to look for a flat before! I always had rather one home too much than none!

The crisis squad has decided to consult someone on this. We’re heading to Professor McGonagall’s office.

 

It is two hours later and Hogwart’s (sometimes abrasive) angel has once again saved us all. What are we going to do without her? We’ll need to buy a lot of flowers, like _a lot_ of them. Thinking ‘covers entire Great Hall’ here. It only took her just under two hours and a connection to the floo network to find a freaking three-bedroom-flat for us, with two bathrooms, a nice kitchen, a living room with a big window, and did I tell you it’s in London? Yeah, I know, that sounds impossible. Minerva McGonagall would only smile silently if you told her that, and then whip her wand out and make two badass moves and just do the impossible thing.

So we’ve got a flat now? It is perfect. The only thing it is probably not (the boys weren’t letting me and Remus see) is cheap, but… James is telling me to stop because “there’s no need to worry Lils and besides me and Sirius have more than enough money for a lifetime”. So I guess I’ll just accept that, and be happy? The flat problem has been solved.

Onto the next problem! No just kidding. No one is telling me anything about my birthday present anymore, but I feel like they’re planning that, too. So excited! Maybe I will after all have seen some of the world before I die, not only this damn island! (Kidding, I love Britain, but it’s so isolated.)

 

But instead of writing more vague stuff about things that I don’t know a lot about, I’ll tell you about our very last weekend here. Now that we don’t have anything to do anymore and the thing with the place to live is sorted out, we can really enjoy the last Saturday. This is such a weird feeling. Can you imagine that? It is literally so weird, I don’t have any words for that.

We’re going camping. Okay, we’ll sleep next to the lake. Without tents. Just, outside. On air mattresses. And with floating fairy lights. We organized that already. We made it an open event for all seventh years, so I have no clue (oh, here we are again) who is going to be there, but everyone important sure is, so that’s all that really matters.

Also snacks, from the house elves, and booze, from Hogsmeade. Everything is organized. And Professor McGonagall has (and this is a quote) promised to “keep both eyes firmly shut”. We’re so her favourite students. Professor McGonagall is Gryffindor Head of House after all, a huge Quidditch fan, and Transfiguration teacher.

This night is going to be wonderful. It is warm, and the sun is shining. The air will be mild tonight and we’ll be able to see thousands of stars.

There’s still some preparation to be done now, though. I’ll be back tomorrow. (5 days to go then. What is even going on. Help!)


	39. 25th of June

** Sunday, 25th of June 1978 **

Last night was so beautiful. About thirty people from various houses turned up. Everyone was calm and relaxed. There was this slightly melancholic atmosphere in the air and a strong sense of belonging. I could see Hogwarts from where I lay, this majestic castle that has been my home for so long. The stars were so bright. I haven’t been to London very often, and surely not at night, but in a big city, it is impossible to see as many stars. They were in the lake, too, its black surface shining bright from the moon (not full) and the dots of light in the sky. The universe is beautiful. Everything is beautiful. Sometimes, even people are. Friendship is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Fairy lights are beautiful. Mild summer nights are beautiful. Chocolate is beautiful. Laughing until your stomach hurts is beautiful. Just looking at someone silently for a really long time is beautiful. Smiles are beautiful. Tired smiles are beautiful, with small eyes and a cute yawn right afterwards. Kissing someone is beautiful. Cuddling is beautiful. Hugs are beautiful. Happiness is beautiful. Puppies are beautiful. Light is beautiful. (Sometimes darkness is, too.)

Our matresses were arranged in some kind of circle, also including Marlene’s girlfriend, and we spent almost the entire night just talking, and then not talking, staring at each other, soaking up the feeling of home and belonging. Silently supporting each other. Giggling every now and then. I don’t know what made me feel all warm and tingly, whether it was the Butterbeer or simply the atmosphere. It doesn’t matter, really. What matters is that the feeling was there, everywhere, and I can still feel the afterglow of it in my bones and blood. I feel like I’m floating today, my head somewhere high up in the clouds. When I turn, I can see my friends floating around me.

We also took Lumos with us. Hagrid’s got him perfectly trained. He was quiet all night, barked only once or twice. I swear he was laughing then, so nobody cared. He’s just the cutest puppy alive. I hope that he’ll be fine with moving to London. Right now, he’s used to the wide landscape of Hogwarts. London is an entirely different thing. We’ll find a park for him, I guess. The flat Professor McGonagall found for us is rather big, too. I still can’t quite believe it.

_There is a picture of Lumos in the middle of a circle of air mattresses, peacefully resting on his tiny paws, wagging his tail at something Remus is saying. The sun has already set, but there’s warm light coming from floating little lanterns that move with the soft breeze. Lumos’ eyes are shining like those lights._

_Another picture has stars in the sky and stars on the surface of the lake and dark, dark trees in between. You can only tell the sky and the lake apart because there are tiny, tiny waves on the surface of the black water, warping the sparkling and shimmering reflection. It looks beautiful. The forest’s black is deep. No light seems to have ever reached it._

_And yet a third picture shows all of them. It’s been taken from above, assumingly by some random student. They’re lying on their air mattresses, looking up into the camera with smiles that are too wide for their faces and eyes glittering as magically as the sky. They all have their heads close to each other’s._

It was a magical night. It was a magical last weekend of magical seven years. I don’t know whether magical really is the good word to describe the feeling. Almost everything we do here is magic. But then again, magic never ceases to amaze me, and although classes didn’t feel that magical anymore towards the end, even they were. And this night was certainly magical. Wonderful. Amazing. Marvellous. Miraculous. Incredible.

This is a memory I want to keep deep inside my heart during my entire life. Someday I’ll be old, and I want to look back then, and smile, and I want my exhausted body and soul to remember the feeling of being totally at ease, of melting into your surroundings and becoming one with the world and the people and finally becoming one with yourself.

Do I want this entire entry to be poetic? I don’t think so. Do I want this entire entry to kind of make our future selves cry? Oh yes, I do think so. Which is why I asked every Marauder plus Marlene and my humble self to write something down, anything, and give their finished piece of parchment to me.

**James:**

What do you want me to write? Anything is such a precise instruction, great, Lils. This time you’ve really outdone yourself. I hope that Gryffindor wins the house cup next year, too, and the Quidditch cup of course. Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor! The prospect of our future selves reading this is weird. I can’t even imagine being twenty-five years old, let alone thirty or older. Hello future self, you must probably cringe at eighteen year-old James Potter. Surprise, it’s me! And I’m actually not that bad. I mean, fun is what it is about, right? I’ve done nothing yet to destroy my future, aka you, except maybe for one or two illegal things. Like, highly illegal, not just breaking school rules. Oh, who cares? If you read this, you don’t, because we’ve survived. If you don’t read this, you don’t, because you’re dead. Thinking about this, we need to finalize the plan for our final prank. Also vacation planning is going strong right now, but will not be featured in here. It has ‘extraordinarily special Marauder secret’ – status.

_He’s signed with his name underneath and drawn a crappy impression of a Quidditch player on a broom._

**Sirius:**

I will just rely on future me being as amazing as current me is. I hope you kept Remus. If you didn’t keep him, get him back immediately. That said, steal future-James’ glasses for me, and then we’re good! I reckon we’ve saved the world then? Nice one. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder, isn’t it? Oh, and you can do me another favour. If you have come to be anything, anything like the ones we stupidly used to call our parents, you might quickly want to re-evaluate your life choices.

_He’s signed with his name, too, and a grinning face. In fact he drew just the eyes and the mouth that is wide open from laughter._

**Remus:**

Once when we were in third year, Professor Dumbledore, not yet Headmaster at this point, told us that ‘each and every single one of you (us) can make the world a brighter place if only you (we) have the courage to try.’ I hope future me succeeded in doing so. Or at least Lumos did! I hope Sirius hasn’t driven you crazy yet (well, I hope he has, but only in the best ways) and I hope neither has your “furry little problem”. I also hope you don’t refer to it like that anymore. I hope you’ve found a job, and most of all, I hope you’re happy!

_He’s signed with his name and then he’s attempted to draw a puppy, and failed. Miserably._

**Marlene:**

Lily, we’ve known each other for even years by now, but apparently you still haven’t realized that I’m the least creative person in the world. I cannot think of anything to write. Are we still playing Quidditch? I do hope we are, because otherwise we probably don’t have a job. Or maybe future me is filthy rich. That would be nice. Maybe we’re rich and still playing Quidditch? Awesome. Also I hope we’ve been to Australia. I really want to go to Australia.

_She’s signed with her name and then drawn a stick figure on a shape that vaguely looks like Australia. Okay, it doesn’t, but it is supposed to be Australia. There’s Australia written next to it._

**Lily:**

I was the one to start this, but as it turns out I don’t know what to write either. I’ve already written everything I think about at the moment in here! So I’ll keep this message short. I hope you’re alive and happy, future me.

_She’s signed with her name and then, just for the sake of it, drawn a few flowers and stars next to it. A few is an understatement. There are more flowers and stars than there are words._

I’ll just leave this here now. Only five days left. I’ll see you soon, future people.


	40. 27th of June

** Tuesday, 27th of June 1978 **

Only three days left.

I’ve started packing today. Well, better saying I attempted to… I’ve taken my suitcase out from under the bed. There are exactly one t-shirt and one pair of socks in it right now. I tried to pack, I really did. I just – can’t. I don’t want it to be real yet.

So now I’m lying on my bed and writing this entry, although I have nothing to say. I think I might go on a rant about this bed. This bed is so comfortable. I will miss this bed so much. I never realized before how much of a blessing it really is. The pillows are so soft and the curtains are so nice and red and so soft, too, it feels like you’re on a cloud.

I’ve officially gone past the point of no return now. I’m going to miss my bed. As that’s not the only thing, I’ll give you a list of what else I’m really going to miss. It’s not in any special order as it is warm outside and I can’t be bothered to think.

  * The castle
  * The teachers
  * The grounds
  * The classes (even though the end of the year was highly stressful)
  * The food
  * The cake
  * The pumpkin pie
  * The house elves
  * The other students that I won’t be seeing anymore
  * Oh shit I won’t be seeing Marlene daily anymore
  * The library
  * Hagrid
  * The Astronomy tower
  * Pumpkin juice
  * Parties
  * The common room
  * The fireplace
  * My bed
  * Being a Gryffindor
  * My school uniform (I hate having to choose a new outfit every single morning I like sleeping too much for that)
  * Being Head Girl
  * The ceiling of the Great Hall
  * The paintings (some of them are really nice, come on)
  * Practically every night feeling like a sleepover because of dormitories
  * Peace
  * Just that constant buzzing of magic in the air
  * Sneaking into Hogsmeade
  * Honeydukes
  * The ghosts
  * The lake
  * Nights of just sitting in the common room, sometimes talking, sometimes not
  * Everyone being equally grumpy in the morning before potions
  * Dumbledore’s speeches
  * Dances
  * Halloween, how did I not think of Halloween before? Halloween is incredible at Hogwarts!
  * The entire castle being decorated all Christmas-y
  * That one tree just at the edge of the Forbidden Forest that has the most awesome blossoms in spring
  * That one staircase that seems to like me because it always takes me just where I need to go
  * Because just mentioning all the teachers as one is not enough: Professor McGonagall
  * Quidditch game commentary (It’s so fun seeing the people get all worked up)



 

And because this list made me feel even sadder (my heart is so heavy that I might just be actually stuck to the bed now – it’s a psychosomatic thing I guess), I’ll now make a second list to balance everything out again. Going away also has its positive aspect. Here are a few things that I’m looking forward to getting rid of.

  * Filch
  * Slughorn’s inappropriate behaviour
  * Every single staircase except for the one mentioned earlier
  * Having to sit in the Great Hall in the early morning when the sky is grey
  * Tons and tons of homework
  * More homework
  * Sleepless nights not because of amazing company, but because of essays due the next morning
  * I literally can’t think of anything else
  * This is bad
  * This is so bad
  * I think I’m going to cry



 

Update: It is now three hours later. Marlene has dragged me out of the dormitory, all my friends have comforted me and we’ve had tea. I’m feeling better. There are three t-shirts in my suitcase now. I think I’ll still wear my uniform, just for fun.

Our graduation ceremony is in two days. I guess I’ll see you then, future people… (to be honest I’m really looking forward to graduation. That will mean that we’ve done it. And also the feast will be marvellous.)


	41. 29th of June

** Thursday, 29th of June 1978 **

Today is the day that we’ve been working towards since the age of eleven. Today is also the day that we’ve been dreading. Today is our graduation.

The time is six am as of right now. The ceremony starts at 11 am. I didn’t want to get up this early, but I woke up twenty minutes ago, unable to fall asleep again. So after ten minutes of tossing and turning in my heavenly bed, I got up, put my uniform on even though I’m going to wear a dress later and could’ve technically stayed in my pyjamas until then, and went down to the common room. Well, I couldn’t really have worn pyjamas until then because of breakfast, but you get the point. School uniform not required. I’ve started eating cake for breakfast AND tea about a week ago. I’m doing the opposite of a pre-wedding, aka pre-graduation diet. The food the house elves make is just too perfect to not indulge in it.

Anyways. Here I am now, in the silent, empty common room, with this album in my lap. It is almost full. I’m kind of glad now that I can watch the sun rise while calming my nerves a little. The downside to not being able to sleep is that I’ll have to charm the dark circles under my eyes away. I’m not exactly good at make-up charms, but Jenny from Ravenclaw is so I might just ask her. For school, I don’t really care about my looks as long as my hair is brushed and I look somewhat alive. Today though…

I’m so nervous. We’re going to receive our grades, we’re going to dance and eat and afterwards that’s it. Well, to be exact: The ceremony starts at 11, as I said, then there is a lunch buffet-style. In the afternoon, there’ll be a ceremony for the entire school, where the House Cup winner is officially announced (we’re way too far in the lead for anything to change now) and people get special trophies and all of that. Afterwards there’s dancing and music for everyone, including the littles, before dinner. Who am I kidding, it’s especially for the littles. All the older people are going to have to get ready. Finally, the tables reappear for dinner. Then they disappear again for the real dance. I know the structure by heart. I planned it, together with James and the teachers. The dance for the littles was my idea. I’m going to have to do a speech. It seemed like a great idea when I volunteered, but it doesn’t as much anymore now.

I just can’t really imagine all of it yet.

Four hours and some minutes left. My stomach is churning as I write. It’s unsettling.

There will be parents at the ceremony, parents at the buffet-style lunch. A fireplace somewhere in the castle has been connected to the floo network especially for that. My parents won’t come. When I was a kid, I always dreamed of graduating with honours and my parents being proud. I’m going to have to be proud of myself in case I aced those exams.

People are starting to pass through the common room now on their way to an early breakfast or their friends. Some second-years have started a game of Exploding Snap at the opposite end of the common room. It’s not quite anymore, but the familiar noise somehow calms me down even more than the silence.

You know the basic structure of our day now. I’ll go get ready and live it.

 

_There’s a picture of Lily, James, Marlene and her girlfriend, Sirius and Remus in the common room, just before the ceremony. They’re all wearing very fancy clothes. It’s still in black and white (instead of colours you can see them waving), but the dress Lily is wearing is a subtle cream colour that goes really well with her red hair. James’ tie is green like her eyes. Marlene’s dress is a deep navy blue, and her girlfriend’s is lavender. Sirius and Remus are wearing matching ties in dark blue with white dots on them. They all look beautiful._

_In the second picture, you can see the Great Hall. It is decorated with all four of the house colours and fancy flags everywhere. The candles are all brand new and at their best floating behaviour. The sky is blue with bright white clouds moving around quickly. The Great Hall is full, and the younger students aren’t even there yet. The picture has been taken from the teacher’s table perspective. That is where the seventh years are waiting._

_There is a picture of Dumbledore, holding up a giant stack of parchment rolls with his wand. He is wearing dress robes as well, and his beard looks especially white on this day. It looks like he is speaking. The picture is kind of blurry. (It was taken in secret.)_

_This picture is followed up by another blurry picture of Lily walking onto the little podium that was constructed solely for the graduation ceremony. She looks splendid, even in blurred. Her hair falls in wavy curls and her dress forms beautiful curves. Dumbledore is smiles widely at her while handing over the parchment roll with her final grades. You can’t really tell whether it is Lily who is visibly shaking or the person taking the picture. Maybe both of them are._

_Lily is still on the podium in the next picture. She’s holding her valedictorian’s speech now, facing the audience. The roll of parchment is in her clenched fist. There’s a smile on her face. Her eyes are sparkling. You can see Professor McGonagall in the background, smiling proudly at her student. (Just because Lily’s parents aren’t there to be proud of her, that doesn’t mean that nobody else is.)_

_There’s a picture of James jumping down from the podium, holding the results up high with his hand. He’s cheering with his mouth wide open. His hair (it was actually combed before) is an utter mess again._

_There’s a picture of Sirius and Remus kissing (innocently) with bright smiles on their faces and school reports in their hands. They’ve made it. In the background, you can see people cheering and laughing and hugging each other. You can grasp the euphoria in just the picture._

_There’s a picture of a pile of delicious-looking food on a plate. Well, you actually can’t see the plate anymore. It is hidden under pies, and roasted sweet potatoes, and sausages, and gravy, and a lot more things. Everything is in black and white and still manages to look delicious and that says a lot about how good it is._

_There’s a picture of Marlene with her arm around her girlfriend and a plate in front of her that is almost as loaded as the one from the picture before. (That was Sirius’, but theirs all basically look like that. It’s buffet-style. The house tables aren’t there. It’s graduation.) She’s sticking her thumb up. Her smile looks like it might jump out of her face soon._

_Another picture shows the Great Hall, with lots and lots of moving and blurry people in it. It’s insane. The atmosphere is buzzing._

_Next, there is a series of pictures of all of them with various teachers, and ghosts, and students from other houses, because after living in a castle together for seven years, they’re going to be spread out all over the world now. Those pictures will be worth more than a million galleons soon, when they finally realize that they won’t see everyone again in September._

_There’s a picture of the house tables back in place. The Great Hall is filled to the rim now, with seventh year parents in the back and the entire student body at their respective tables. Dumbledore is holding a speech (again, it is his third today). The decorations have been changed in the fraction of a second with a wave of his wand. Everything is scarlet and golden. It’s the Marauder’s seventh year, and Gryffindor has won the House Cup once again._

_There’s a picture of Lily and Marlene curling their hair and sticking their tongues out at the camera. (It’s now getting ready for the dance time. Before dinner. Oh well. Not too much gravy, then. At least the dresses have already survived lunch.)_

_There’s a picture of Lily and James dancing, alone, in the middle of the Great Hall, to a music we cannot hear, but see in the air and in the movements of the crowd that has left space for them, Head Boy and Head Girl, to shine. (They’re amazing at dancing, too. Professor McGonagall has really taught them well._

_And finally, there’s a picture of them all again. They look noticeably more dishevelled than in the first picture, noticeably more tired, too; it is in the middle of the night. The picture has been taken in the Great Hall, which is almost empty by now. Everyone has gone to bed. The next day, the train leaves at noon. They also look noticeably happier, calmer, more satisfied. Their smiles are wide and their eyes are tired._

It is four in the morning. In eight hours, we’ll leave Hogwarts. And this was our graduation. Oh, and not to forget: Our grades. I got straight O’s. James did, too, and Sirius, too, and Remus got O’s and E’s, and Marlene got all E’s and A’s, and everyone is so damn happy. Everyone is so damn happy. I’m so damn happy.

Life is pretty freaking great right now. I can barely keep my eyes open, having been awake for like 23 hours by now, but I can’t sleep, either. I never want to let this feeling go.


	42. 30th of June - END

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very, very much! I appreciate every kudo and every comment and you've made my day so often. It was so much fun to write this "album", although I look forward to "real" writing again now.
> 
> Now, as some of you know, I'll spend five months abroad starting two weeks from now. I'm going to New Zealand, and I'm pretty excited. Right now I must assume that I won't have enough time to write, but don't give up on this series, because in 2017, the sequel is coming! I'm not finished yet with this storyline.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for your endless support! Lots of love! xx

** Friday, 30th of June 1978 **

_There’s a picture of Hogwarts, of the castle, in its entirety. There is a long line of carriages all the way up to its entrance portal. It looks almost small out of this perspective, and it gets smaller. Smaller, as they move further and further away._

The very last entry. Our very last minutes as Hogwarts students are already over. The next time we come back (and we totally will), we won’t be students anymore. We will never again a hundred percent belong.

I didn’t know what to say, so I started this entry off with a picture. The train is moving too fast. I feel like I’m getting physically pulled back by Hogwarts, the castle’s very own gravity laws. My body feels weirdly heavy in my seat. I have headache, although I drank no more than a glass of champagne and a bit of butter beer yesterday. My hands are slightly shaky. I might start crying in a minute.

We’re all in one compartment, but instead of the cheerful chatter that you’d normally expect before the summer holidays and that resounds through the entire train, we’re silent. Everyone is too deep in their own head, their own memories. We won’t be coming back in September. We have just the address of our new flat, and the key. The adventure starts right the moment we step onto the platform at King’s Cross.

It’s over, and I know that it is over, and I know that life has to go on now, and I hope that the future will bring great things. I just can’t believe it is really over. It feels so surreal. As if I could wake up any moment and nothing would have happened.

Even Lumos is weighed down by the melancholic atmosphere. He’s sleeping on a free seat, his paws tucked away under his nose. The air on the train is blue, and heavy.

The familiar rattling of the train only reaches my ears through cloud. I’m so tired, but I know that even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. My left hand is in James’. I’m glad that he holds me in this mess that we’re about to jump into. I’m feeling poetic, standing at the edge of this metaphorical cliff. I’m sorry if this ending turns out too deep. I hope you liked the album. I hope your time at Hogwarts was as awesome as ours was.

The wizarding world of 1978 is neither the best place nor the best time to transition into adulthood. I guess we’ll make it work somehow. Together.

 

Future people, let us all remember what our life was like. Let us remember the battles we fought and the laughter we shared. Let us remember breathing in life and growing in the process. Let us remember good times and bad times, hard times and easy times. Let us remember that life is worth living, and let us remember to smile. Let us remember to carry on. Let us remember that friendship and love are worth more than all the galleons of the world. Let us remember that together, even the smallest fish in the sea stand strong against the biggest sharks. Let us remember that the sun rises every morning and sets every night, and that the world doesn’t stop turning when one person makes a mistake. Let us remember that we’re small, and yet so big at the same time.

Remember us if we die. Think back to us with a smile. Say: Those young people were happy with their lives.

Remember that we fought for you. Smile and continue making the world a better place.

(If we’re still alive though: Congratulations. You did well. Go and peacefully enjoy some cake in the peaceful world you created from a not so peaceful one.)

This was the story of the Marauder’s last six months at Hogwarts. Now there’s just one thing left to say:

**_Once a Marauder, always a Marauder!_ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank everyone who has read Up To S(no)w Good and has now come here to read the sequel.  
> If you'd like to, tell me what you think about it (or whether you want a special scene featured. I'll see whether I can fit it in.)  
> I'll post the chapters on the day that they're written into the yearbook, so there can be longer or shorter periods between them, but the updates will still be somewhat regular.  
> Have fun sharing the Marauders' memories!


End file.
